~nullenigma

First off I would like to say that I am not dead. I can't apologize enough for my absence and lack of sustained communication with my friends and acquaintances... Despite a lack of input from me, know I've missed you all terribly and thought of everyone often throughout the years.

I figure that the best way to explain what's going on would be to honest. I have been struggling for years with depressive and manic episodes brought on by Bipolar 1. Unfortunately the only time I seem to have the energy to try to reconnect and engage usually heralds the beginning of a manic episode. To be frank, those moments in my life are not kind, I become a different person, one who believes in delusions and has disordered thinking. For years I've been trying to find the center between these opposites, to be who I want to be again. I think I'm finally starting to get things under control, but it's still impossible for me to say for sure. If I start saying or doing strange things it's possible that I've entered another bad point. Either depression or mania will sometimes make me withdraw, but I intend to try my best to stick it out and engage with all the wonderful friends I've missed over these years. My interactions might be slow and irregular, but this is me trying to make progress.

Again I know there isn't a way to turn back the clock and improve or change my behaviour over the years, all I can do is ask that people forgive me.

I still don't have anything new art-wise to share, some of my medications make drawing and concentrating on art very difficult.

If you want to ask me questions or leave comments I would be happy to answer them