~manpersonguy

Well... That december was a thing. I've never pumped out so much work or pushed myself so far, at least not since the growth drive.

I got every one of those owed comms done from the laptop breakage from nov 2022 with the exception of my friend Boli's comic which I am in the process of working on now. Thats 10 comms in the span of one month in addition to fun things I did for me. I am beyond floored. Next up are the comms from friends that supported me in the meantime to make it month to month last year. I know I can bang these out in 2-3 months if I keep my current pace.

It turns out that I stopped taking vitamins at some point last year and a lot of my issues with my brain fog, lethargy and inability to get out of bed at times were due to a serious vitamin defficiency, and the moment I started taking them again I just exploded with progress. This was all avoidable, and I did not need to fall so far behind, but I'm not here to dwell on that.

I ended up mostly fulfilling the goal I set on my birthday. I ended up getting almost everything I wanted to clear up by the end of the year cleared up, in the span of a single december. I can do this. Yeah, I am a little disappointed in myself that I took a 2 day break on christmas/christmas eve cause I believe I could have gotten Boli's comic done by now if I had pushed through it, but maybe it would have burned me out to miss it. I don't consider this a failure though, and the commissioner is a friend who does not want the refund I offered in my last journal if I couldn't make it for the end of the year, it will be completed either tomorrow or the day after, I don't think I can manage it in a single day, nor should I force myself to try, as it might make the quality suffer.

I will proceed to get all the owed comms from my secondary "friend queue" done in the opening months of 2024 and then hopefully by march or april I will just try to open up monthly manageable 8 comm queues to not get overwhelmed by the absurd amount of work owed ever again. And given what I've accomplished this month, for the first time in a long time I feel like thats actually a reasonable goal.

I love what I do, and I don't ever want to stop drawing for a living, I don't ever want to go back to that lethargic funk, afraid to do anything that isn't work, but completely unable to think for myself in a way that could accomplish it, just lying in bed trying to function and failing as I was for so much of this year.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel like... I'm good at what I do. Like I can actually transfer the ideas to the canvas again. I can do this... and being able to say that means so much to me

If you'd like to support me in the meantime while I finish everything up, and try to keep up my current pace, heres a link to my Ko-fi. https://ko-fi.com/mrease

I can do this, and WILL do this.