!JadeLemonade

watching on TCM:manhattan melodrama
watching on netflix:

still listening to music

cooking bacon. I want a re-do as far as life is concerned, so Im working at it actively

maybe next time Ill be hung like a horse and athletically extroverted

whatever it is, it's sure to be demoted

probably come back as bacon itself, or a louse living off of a physically grotesque man

have a bunch of blueberry bagels in the freezer, so there's an option to go with the bacon, adding the additional benefit of fruit into that unhealthy and near-sighted mix

I drink mineral oil like a loose sailor. call it vanity in motion :p It's like dumping burning pitch off a medieval turret when it comes to bedroom eyes in prison. Keeps them away from the begonias

Id pay Don Knotts to say that last part X'D. Id pay him to say the word begonias alone, maybe put his thumbs in his belt loops and gyrate a little

okay I'll stop. having too much fun over here

Let's find a shitter of a movie together on Netflix, shall we?

(rummages in shoebox)

watching Somewhere

What? I like them bad or weird. In fact, it may turn out to be pleasantly and unexpectedly good

perhaps even devoid of nazis or zombies

aaand Pearl just Jordan dunked the mail slot for no apparent reason, and hung from it with one paw. Fuck a duck, she's wound up

must be the smell of bacon fat

smells excellent. It's like my grandparents are still alive upstairs

the strippers are nice. very Puma sisters (ale)

if I had eggs and a beer id be set. id fry the egg and put it on a heap of hashbrowns, the shredded Waffle House style ones, pop the yolk and eat it with ketchup

if I had like a treasury of retro weird ass technicolor cartoons id be better than perfect, and a fire going

I really am that simple to please

had crackers and milk actually the other night. Forgot how good that was. Im like "there it is, Jim. Practically calling you by your first name and everything"

wonderful experience

I have that oven on the lowest possible setting. Now that's quality living

Im so dead tired. Only reason Im staying up is so the bacon doesnt burn, otherwise id have called it quits without even listening to the music

trying to decide what would go well with the bacon as far as tea. Just remembered I bought some raspberry zinger from celestial seasonings

there's an edited scene from the old b/w cartoon Lady Play Your Mandolin where the drunk horse looks into the saloon mirror and sees Gandhi. Not many people would know that, because it's been edited

Im assuming people found the martyristic leader reduced to the worst nightmare of an intoxicated horse mildly offensive. I, however, nearly pissed myself over the unexpected thematic irrelevance

raz zinger with half and half is the closest the mind might ever come to experiencing an orgasm despite it's function as an organ

I know in order to eat the bacon Im going to have to offer some to the cat, or she'll never leave me alone. She's like this tiny evil god of delightfully cruel and vicious things that must be appeased before anything else is enjoyed

plus she's terribly thin for her age. I cant help but wince when I pet her because I can feel her spine and ribs