~CorrosiveBlue

So it's been a while, I think what, 2 or 3 years since I abandoned this account? As much as I loved making furry art, or talking to the great people in this fandom its just been tainted for me.

(TW: Pedophilia)

I joined the fandom at 10 years old, things weren't that eventful until I hit 15 and decided to join furry chats on telegram. I was at the worst point in my life, depressed, going through puberty, lonely and desperate for attention due to some other shit in my life. Most of the people I met were really nice to me despite me being a whiny emotional 15 year old. But of course, being the only minor in all adult spaces didn't end well for me. I was naive, I might still be. I had never met anyone in my life who only wanted to get close to me to use me. All my moms warnings of "be careful of who you talk to online" had no affect on me. I had no idea what to look out for. I was exactly what these people wanted. A lonely, gullible, easily manipulative young girl.

I'm mad at myself that it happened more than once. I legit thought these people were my friends, I thought sex was a normal thing to talk about with friends, I thought them being into me meant I was so much more mature than these other girls. They played into every little thing I wanted. Feeding me false promises and words just to get at me. Hell, one even let me vent to him about how one of these other pedophiles used me and then literally went on to do the same thing. I keep thinking. "Why did I let this happen?" But again, I was young, I had never encountered stuff like this. In my mind If someone was nice, all their motives were nice, they couldn't have any ulterior motives....

Still to this day I can't shake the toxic mindset that now that I'm 19 I'm not attractive to anyone. and that's so toxic, I know it is but I cant get it out of my head because all the "relationships" Ive had have solely been based off an abuse of power and the fact that I was underage.

I'm also super concerned these people are out their doing this to other kids looking for friends in the fandom. I can only hope I was a one time thing for them, and no one else is being hurt.
I'm grateful my extent of being used by these men was solely online and wasn't physical or anything worse, but I still feel used and dirty. I can't go a day without getting close to having a panic attack over the meer mention of pedophiles. Even now I feel like I need to vomit.

So thanks for that, thanks for pretending to be someone I could trust in confide in just to use for your sick disgusting fetish for literal children.

Honestly, cancel culture is dumb but I wouldn't feel bad dropping names If I remembered tbh. I've been trying my best to forget them tbh.

I suppose my final thought is:

This is the main reason I've left the fandom...
I still do art for others, but I can't bring myself to come back and talk to the people I used to know. I just want to forget everything. IDK if any of the people who aided in this bullshit follows me, Its been forever. if any of you do.

Honestly, get some help, youre disgusting.