~BigFluffy

First, I want to thank everyone for being with me for the journey. It's been great. I got a lot of enjoyment out of writing for everyone on here and Sofurry. I even shared duplicates of some stuff with another gallery dedicated to anthro equine stuff. Being on here and writing was my hobby, my passion. Every night I looked forward to posting a new story and reading the comments the following morning. It was the one thing I'm really good at besides standing in as an experienced loyal gears of war veteran to my friends on xbox who have no idea this side of me exists. NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER, NO DEFEAT.

But I did surrender and retreat, and one of my best friends from gears of war 3 back in 2008 that I haven't spoken or played with until now today reminded me of the joys of my past and made me realize what I've been missing in life. I have no passion or desire to do anything anymore, because I am stuck in a situation that has no end or hope. It started with my suspension on here for a commissioned c** story I wrote several years ago and completely forgot about until the AUP policy change. I'm a very sensitive person, so I took that situation a little too extremely and liquidated my entire catalogue because I was hurt and angry, not to mention this incident took place during the week of my birthday. I did it because I didn't want to be hurt by the mods again for anything else I did in the past or future, and because the pain it caused me on the inside made me feel like going full scorched earth and abandoning everything was the only way to go. To this day, I have never read the response that the person overseeing suspension appeals sent back to my email. I just wanted to wait out my one week suspension in peace and then destroy everything I had on my profile to make a statement. I backed up all the html page comments and the story download files as I did it so that I could have them for reference and memories later, but it was otherwise a complete wipe for those who have come to know me through my work. I am really sorry to my fans for doing this. You were caught in the middle of my emotions and you don't deserve that. I abandoned this place and the relationships I had because I didn't want to be hurt anymore, and because the constant act of writing for other furs and not myself burned me out creatively and made me feel like I'd reached the end of my well of inspiration and could go no further.

My story continues to today where my mom suffered a stroke and needs near constant daily care and assistance. I put my life on hold ever since I was let go from my job at Sears during quarantine, now seeing to my moms needs when she had her stroke 3 months after that, wheeling her around in a wheelchair to see various doctors, taking the bus to get groceries because I can't drive, managing her finances and bills, and doing what I can to slowly downsize a house and get it ready to be sold so I can get her in a new home closer to family who can pitch in and help and she can be in a place that she enjoys in her final days. This is my life now, and I wholeheartedly apologize to someone else I cannot name for my callous statement that I've made so long ago in the past when she was in a similar situation and now I understand too late. Likewise this experience later in my life has humbled me and made me see things from another perspective. Nothing feels worse than watching someone you love slowly decay, and as you hope they will improve and get their life back the way it was, the odds are against it. She now has difficulty reading, she uses a walker to get around now, and she can no longer drive.

So, this day I announce I'm back. This place has been my rock against the storm for over a decade and I gave it up too hastily not to have it in this hour of need. Everything in my small world that I love is either dead or going to die and leave me all alone and no path forward. I need someplace to remember where I used to belong and feel content. I need Furaffinity.