Hello, my darlings! ❤️‍🔥

*Attention! There`s a lot of the text here*

I haven’t been in touch for quite some time, and I want to apologize if I made you worry.
I’m alive and relatively safe, but unfortunately, I can’t say I’m okay. My mental state is on the verge of a breakdown, and I’m utterly exhausted.
There’s just too much happening around me all at once, and I’m afraid that soon I won’t be able to handle this pressure and workload. But I understand that I have no choice – I need to live this life and try to make it better. I finally gathered my thoughts and forced myself to sort through my mail and write this post. Before this, I spent most of my time working, not allowing myself to get distracted by anything else, but I still haven’t finished my work.

Lately, I’ve become extremely slow; whatever I do just doesn’t seem to work. Sometimes I spend weeks on one commission and lose track of time. I watch the weeks and months pass me by, and looking back, I realize I’ve accomplished nothing – I haven’t met deadlines, I haven’t responded to people who are worried about me, and I have no idea how to restore some sense of order. Everything around me is chaos.
I’m incredibly grateful for your understanding and patience. If it weren’t for your kindness, I’d have already gone mad, though sometimes I start to feel like I don’t deserve it. I hope the day comes when I feel good enough to manage my time and abilities effectively. Showing you all the ideas I’ve accumulated over time is my little pink dream. But first, I need to finish last month’s commissions…

It just hit me with horror that I haven’t given any updates in two months. I honestly didn’t even notice. I planned to finish another pack of summer ych, started a beautiful piece for Independence Day, and nearly completed some personal projects, but all of it has been put on hold. This month, which is almost over, I haven’t earned anything yet. I have huge expenses and several unfinished commissions. So... yes, I’m in a panic and have no idea what to do with my life.

To sum up the latest events:

I had an expensive surgery for my cat, which meant traveling far outside the city to some “fancy” clinic with the necessary equipment. The surgery went well, but the dumb vets wrapped her leg too tightly with a tourniquet that initially looked like a safe bandage. We spent half the evening chasing a wild, frantic cat around the house to cut off the bandage because her leg had swollen to the size of her head.

Everything in my old apartment has started breaking down – all at once, and sometimes critically. First, the toilet broke, which left me in a panic, calling every plumber in the city all day. I hate all this adulting stuff. I thought I’d have to replace it and had already started looking for a new one, but luckily it didn’t come to that. Given that a few neighbors had their pipes burst not so long ago, I think I shouldn’t delay too much and replace all the old plumbing, which is older than I am and not very trustworthy.
I also threw out the dining table and am thinking of getting rid of the couch, but I can’t do that until the bed is ready as a replacement. Recently, my work chair broke unexpectedly, and now I’m working almost lying down. These last two problems are killing my back, which I treated not too long ago, so I urgently need to find a solution. I’ve started doing minimal repairs, which is not at all what I wanted to spend my time and money on, but living has become unbearable.

My fiancé said we need to start thinking about the wedding because it’s been delayed for too long. We have to set a date so his Canadian relatives can plan their trip in advance, as it’s no simple task. I haven’t had time to think about this either, especially with so many tasks piling up, so I have no idea where to start, and my head is spinning from the thought of how much it will all cost.

But the most critical problem that’s killing my mental health and finances is our poor energy infrastructure. Those fucking ru**ians are trying to destroy it again, so power outages are back in my life. I thought it was over… I had my iPad to work on another commissions, plenty of flashlights, and a plan to reorganize my working hours, but this time none of it helped. Just as I’d get into the flow of work, the electricity would go out. I’d switch to my iPad, and then the power would come back. I’d return to my computer, start producing something good again, and the power would go out… And so it went, in circles. My motivation plummeted, and it became mentally difficult to continue.

For a while, things stabilized, and based on previous experiences, I thought I had plenty of time before the next round of issues, but the vile ru**ians hit the energy grid again. It was too soon for my mental state to recover, but that’s not even the worst part. All the previous work was nearly finished on the computer, and I couldn’t continue on the iPad, as it only created more problems than it solved. I had to wait hours just to get back to the commissions and would sketch small things while there was no electricity or new orders. On top of that, the internet started going out more often or working extremely slowly. After one heavy attack, my network experienced an outage, and the internet was down in the whole building for several days, even when the power was back on. So I’ve decided to finally install fiber-optic internet and switch providers. While I’ve been dragging my feet, everyone else has already done it. Prices have skyrocketed due to demand, but there’s no other choice now.
Being without internet can be dangerous now. Once, it went out right in the middle of a warning about 10 Shahed drones over my city, and all I could do was rely on the sound of explosions above. Scary...

This period of energy terror was mentally taxing, so I decided to buy a power station. Since the last outages, these things have gotten a lot more expensive, and I regret not getting one during the lull. I thought it was over… Now I think that without a power station, I’ll be in a mental hospital soon, as we’re being promised a very tough winter. My fiancé and I agreed that I’d buy the power station, and he’d take care of replacing the wiring in the apartment. The wiring is ancient, the outlets give shocks, and I’m afraid that with the ongoing energy problems, there could be a disaster, so it’s one of the first things on the repair list. Meanwhile, I consulted with my dad, and he found something better and more cost-effective than a regular power station – an inverter with a battery that connects to the grid, and he found someone to install it. This thing, plus installation, will cost just under $900. So I really need your help. New commissions, donations, telling your friends – anything you can do. It’s your investment in my continuous high-quality work in the future and in improving my mental state.

Here’s my PayPal: lanovenkonastya[at]gmail.com

Thank you in advance, sending you lots of love!💖✨

At first, I wanted to finish all the commissions before taking on anything new, but I see that won’t work. If I delay any longer, I’ll be left without any income this month. I’ll be grateful for your understanding and will try my best not to make you wait too long.
I’ve found some old Halloween sketches and am trying to quickly create new YCHes. I’ll be adding them to my gallery soon and will attach the link here. In the meantime, you can check out some old offerings, and the price hasn’t changed since forever.

By the way, about prices – I haven’t raised them in two years... wow. I planned to raise them after implementing my promotion plan, which includes advertising and a ton of fan art. I’m already about to cry at how long I’ve been trying to execute this plan, but I just can’t keep up. It’s becoming harder for me, especially with the rising cost of living, but I’ll wait a little longer.
One thing I keep forgetting to announce is that for some time now, I’ve been charging more for backgrounds. They were always cheap, but I spent so much time on them, and it’s really hard for me now. So, the new prices for backgrounds are: $30 for a sketch, $50 for line art, and $80 for full rendering. Also, the price for highly detailed clothing on reference sheets has gone up a bit, so if needed, please ask me when ordering.

🔥Price list: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47788170/
🔥YCH: https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....r/553264/OPEN/
🔥Adopt: https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....er/763757/OPEN