I wish I can say it's been fun, but all of my troubles started once I posted my 1st picture on this godforsaken sight.
there are only a select number of you all I genuinely liked, but everybody else, I can't keep this façade going for another day.

I have since changed all of my passwords to gibberish, so this is truly farewell.
to all of you who were genuinely nice to me, thank you so much, I wish you all a good life.

Did a roast myself video on twitter, even decided to string my OCs along for the ride.

https://twitter.com/EzZdog909/statu.....48970216132636

how accurate am I?

I honestly didn't expect myself to not be finished by the turn of the year, so while I'm still here I may as well wish this community a happy new year and a belated merry Christmas.

I guess the good news is to report is that Christmas compared to last year, has turned out nothing short of excelente!!! Did things differently this Christmas instead of simply just setting up the tree and wrapping presents. It's kinda a separate magic in it of its own, really, being the Santa.

As for life updates, nothing to report other than things getting progressively busy. Its honestly gotten to the point where I barely have the time nor the privacy to draw anymore. There are times where my mind has been going blank, to the point I think that a final project is not gonna happen but I persevere.

I did promise a few people art for them dating back months, and I apologize to those, for my lack of communication and progress reports, but I do have you all at high priority.

I have taken the day off, not just to crunch but not go to work and already hate the new year, due to how busy it usually is.

Thank you all who are still with me. Stay safe everybody.

Happy new year, I pray this year is a redemption arc for this forsaken planet
(edit 1/13: not even halfway through the first month and the planet is already having a meltdown)

No this is not a suicide note


I guess it isn't really fair if I just up and leave without a final true goodbye, so for my exit, I still have 2 work in progresses to finish (maybe upload the remaining gift art & years old WIPs that take up storage in my hard drive), before I make a final pic as a sendoff for everybody, so stay tuned, no matter how long the air will be dead.

I honestly dunno when this will be finished but when it is, I can officially say my work here is done.

I have received multiple messages (which all were supportive, thank you all), and I think its best I say them all here: Yes my mind has been made. I will unfortunately be calling it quits being in the public eye. Every profile I have made that contains my art will be locked up forever when I go. No, my accounts will not be deleted, by locked up I mean I intend to go out of town and change every password on my account, so my accounts will be standing but not operational.

Art will continue but at a bare minimum. Only close CLOSE friends of mine will be getting art, with occasional gift art to the bigger artists every now & then, but I will leave it up to them to either post my gifts to them or not.


Will I ever truly come back? Hell to the No (at least under this account, but 500 tons of fat chance)

When the time comes, I truly bid you all farewell

P.S. I won't 100% be gone forever, in a weird adoption sort of way... I have decided it wouldn't be fair to let a few OCs in my collection collect dust after the fact, so I have officially given 3 of my old OCs to better homes.

Vester is now officially under ownership of  UzaRuza
Bave is now officially under ownership of  Erauue (exclusively on discord)
And of course Liberta, tho standing but not operating, is back under the ownership of  EKL_DX78

Can't I have 1 fucking hour without people trying to fuck with me?

Last night I had to bury my fucking dog who my family had for 16 fucking years. I just wanted to take the day off work, isolate, talk it out with friends, and get my mind back together.

and now people think its the perfect opportunity to execute their funny Ideas, to leak my IP address and find my fucking private discord.

I hate this community. I hate my art, I hate everybody, every single individual on this site. I will not upload a single pic on this site anymore, not FA, not Twitter, not discord. I am done.

So this is a long post, so if you don't wanna read, then go ahead and ignore. Just don't be surprised if you hear a few people calling me a POS

I think it's time I finally tell you all where I've been and what has been going on. I'm going full on unfiltered, so I am not only gonna cuss alot, but I'm literally gonna run the risk of getting recognized IRL because of these specific events that has happened. what I say is nothing but the truth, all these events combined sound like nothing but excuses but I promise it is true.

I can also promise what I will say may or may not ruin my image of how everybody sees me, just know that everything I say is not an excuse for my behavior. It may be an explanation but I am not going to paint myself as the lesser bad guy, what I did was F##ed up.

A Day in the Life

So clearly, I have not been having the best year of my life, almost on a weekly basis, something wrong happens. I dunno when this streak of bad luck began, but I guess the safest bet would be last Christmas, at the earliest, is when all this bulls### started. I never planned on sharing this publicly, but due to my behavior and attitude drastically changing, I feel I have to let you all in on the loop.

Back in April, the week before my trip to Seattle, I was in a really horrible car wreck.

I was on my way home from work, and I was ran off the road when I tried to turn into my street. There are 2 routes to take back to my home, the backroads or the highway into town. The way my route was set up was I take the main highway that cut through my town, and take a left into my neighborhood, and drive 2 blocks down to my apartment. Unfortunately adjacent to my street, sharing the turning lane, is a Subway restaurant & a hardware store that's pretty busy in weekday hours, because of this, there are alot of roadhogs in my area.

As I was about to pull into the turning lane, a white Prius speeds out of the hardware store parking lot, and began riding inside the turning lane as I was trying to pull in.

I dunno what I did to aggravate the driver, but I kept trying to pull ahead so I can get in, and every time the Prius kept speeding up as if he was challenging me. The 3rd attempt I managed to get into the lane but that was when I was tail bumped, lost control, sideswiped a pole and skidded right into the sidewalk of a subway parking lot. F###er didn't even stop to check on me, he sped away after/while I crashed.

The one time I chose to take the highway, the 1 F####NG time.

Because of my insurance, I was able to get a new car, but it unfortunately came at a hefty price, being my back & my house...



There's a reason I kinda underperformed during Mayternity, and the lack of art besides my birthday series. Due to a significant rise of inflation up here, prices & rent became too expensive. I didn't think it would get as bad as it did, but you know me, wherever I go, murphy is sure to follow. I couldn't afford to keep my apartment, and early May, I had to pack up and move back into my parents house.

Its not that I don't love my parents, they've tried all they could, despite the many troubles my mom & dad have, but because of the situation, I have SIGNIFICANTLY less privacy & time on my hands. almost on a weekly basis, I've had many close calls with my parents coming into my room, sometimes they don't even ask, just invite themselves in, sit down on my bed and just start talking. Honestly they can't help it, they try and pick up when is the right time to talk to me, but sometimes they just don't know.

The only time I am able to make art now, is either if it's on a weekend, or very late at night, when I can work undisturbed.



And now here we are, in Summer:

I currently work in the hotel business, as a housekeeper. The way work is set up is I go in, and strip the rooms on my floor (about 28 rooms and 6/8 suites) while the main team of housekeepers go in after me and clean and make the beds. or that was how we used to do it. we are so understaffed that now I have to juggle between 5 different tasks that I originally didn't have to do. Even worse is that we are undergoing new ownership.

Legally I cannot say what's been going on, but if you remember that top shit General Manager I ranted about 2 months ago, lets just say he's brought nothing but trouble for our team. My job is nothing but a skeleton crew now, my 30 staff has been cut down to just under 12 people, to the point they're hiring contractors. What used to be an 8:30am to 3pm job has now turned into an 8am to 5, 6 or even 8pm. I'm not lying, I've had to take several "sick days" to mentally put myself back together, in spite of letting my team down.

When my mind is not live...

I know this year has been affecting my mental health, and because of this, I've been acting out a lot. 1 minute I will be happy joy joy, then the littlest of things can happen and suddenly I'm either extremely sad, or irate for no reason. This is combined with some very troubled events that has happened in my childhood, where I had to be temporarily relocated to a very abusive family. Because of this era from my childhood, I suffer from an injury that makes me terrible with words. I can write stories easily, don't get me wrong, but in the heat of conversations I tend to say things I don't mean, and immediately regret it. I am also extremely apologetic, and do things just to please people, which in the long run can also hurt me & my already fragile self esteem.

Several people who I'm no longer friends with online, both Fur Affinity & on Discord, have began to notice & take advantage of those traits.

Instead of RPing, or sharing art between us, like we originally intended, all they wanted was for me to sit through paragraphs upon paragraphs of drama, ranting, and soliciting (of their servers and/or asshole friends). If I didn't comply, they would become verbally abusive to both me, my close friends, or even my OCs. At the time, Everybody in said friend group always expected me to be their free unpaid therapist, and has been incredibly moody to the point I can't even say anything without risk of getting berated for no apparent reason.

There are things that still stick to me to this day that really bother me, when really it shouldn't. Comments like "Make the belly bigger", "that's not how pregnancies work in the Pokémon universe", "that's not how vore works", "you're doing it wrong". "wrong wrong wrong." All of which has brought my confidence and interest in drawing art down, to the point where I felt like I wasn't even allowed to even draw my own OCs (even Roxy, my own gallery's mascot).

I am no longer friends with those individuals, but the recovery is very taxing ( ❤❤❤❤ and seriously, to all of you, who have been extremely constructive and positive, I can't thank you enough for being so supportive for me. It may all be just pixels on a screen, but it really means well to me, so thank you all ❤❤❤❤) and at the cost, I have become extremely and unreasonably defensive about my OCs and artwork, even if said comments are supportive and constructive.

Because of this, there's a certain incident I have to address, and a specific individual I have to apologize to. If you all know about this incident, then you know who I am addressing.

All Apologies

What I'm about to talk about next, I know will make a lot of people start hating me, I know I deserve it, I will not paint myself as the good guy, I'm not a good person for what I'm about to talk about. I know I just typed an essay's worth of explanation, but it is an explanation, not an excuse for my behavior, and nothing is a valid excuse for what has happened.



Back in July (or late June) I had a dispute with a very talented individual. This artist wanted nothing more than to be a good friend, he made me & many good people free art, was very inclusive, sharing very personal ideas, needing advice, and even gifting me an OC. Unfortunately, due to a language (and screen) barrier, there are many things he may say that don't translate well into English, so what they could say a compliment and I'd take it as an insult, but in reality, all they done was mean well.

When I first got Liberta, I had just a blank slate with a few key traits, so I tried to work off of what I had. In support, the individual offered me several ideas to develop her into a more fleshed out OC, but I took all of those Ideas as insults, thinking he already had a plan for her, and was just telling me how to make her into what he wanted, when really that was far from the truth.

What I should've done was just leave it at giving his OC back and letting bygones be bygones, but I still let my anger simmer and 3 days after giving said OC back, I let my unnecessary anger get the best of me.

There were offers that I took as promises, when really, they weren't 100% guaranteed. There were traits and circumstances that had to be turned down due to his lack of experience, at the time, and once his art started to improve, those traits were practiced and he began to execute them into his art and instead of thinking of the long run he took, I took that as a sign of spite, and I snapped.

I demanded he publicly apologized to me. I got my wish but I was so blinded by rage that I was out for blood, so I retaliated, and spat in his face with a 9 paragraph rant in his comments. I had my head so far up my ass, I wanted nothing but to nuke this artist from orbit. I was so angry I didn't even realize the picture I was angry about wasn't for me, but a good friend of ours, on their own birthday.

Earlier this month we made an effort to try and make things right again, but 2 weeks ago I know I blew it; After a 12 hour day, I lost it and took out my stress on him in the DMs. the reason I yelled at him? All he was asking was if I was Ok, because I didn't respond the night before.

I tried to do a check up on them earlier this week, but as of typing this their gallery was deleted, even tho it's back now, I still have extreme guilt because I feel like it's my fault. I feel like I just chased possibly one of my biggest fans off the internet. For what, all of this over an OC?

It's not fair, really it isn't, so I want to get this out there.


 EKL_DX78, I just want you to know that I am so sorry for how I've treated you this entire year. I'm saying it: I am an Asshole, I'm not a good guy, for how I've talked to you and about your work. All you wanted to do was be not just a fan but my friend, and I responded by treated you like fucking garbage. If you left because of me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I called your OCs stupid, and I'm sorry I yelled at you when you were checking up on me, trying to help me off my feet.

You are one of the most talented and brightest individuals I've ever seen on this site. I really did have fun drawing your OCs, for your birthday, I loved hearing about what Ideas you had in store for everybody.

How I treated and talked to you was not where it was at, this is not how we do things, It shouldn't be how anybody does it. I know many times you are so quick to forgive me, but the way I made you do all that bulls## for my satisfaction, I feel like it is best I come out and say this out in the open, on my own terms, I just wanna bury this hatchet and let bygones be bygones. If you ain't down, then I understand, what I said cannot be taken back.


I do wanna also apologize to my friend  eman_sdrawkcab, I made your birthday and your gift about me, and even tho I apologized in DMs, I'm gonna say it again on here, I'm sorry.


On a more positive note, go give these guys a watch. As I said, up above, these 2 are some of the most talented artists I ever got the pleasure to knowing,

 EKL_DX78 making some of the best (and oftentimes unintentionally hot) Alternate Vore art (Butt Vore, Breast Vore, ETC warnings) & OCs.
 eman_sdrawkcab has a lot of pretty hot Avatars on VR chat, and regularly posts some of the coolest screenshots & selfies.

Send 'em some love, will ya? they deserve it. Whatever hate comes my way from this, it is completely warrented, but all I ask is don't sink yourself down to the same level I have, it's not a good feeling, no matter how good it feels, hate and anger is a drug worse than masturbation.

Tomorrow Never Knows

So what now?

Honestly I have no clue. all that's on my mind is trying to survive this summer. I keep hoping that I can get things back to the way things used to. Ever since I came up with Roxy, I had a plan for my established universe but every year those plans fall through and I'm just trying to play catch up. Everyday I teeter between trooping through and cleaning out my backburner, or just call it quits right here and now, and the more Sh##ier this year gets, I begin leaning more towards the latter.

The plan right now is because of how bad work has become, all art (save for a few near finished pics) is on hold. For how long, I dunno, until September? October? F### if I know, TBH, again, I've been mentally checked out since July. Worst case scenario, this may be the end of Zdog909, which pains me because as much as I hate the grind, the deadlines, and how much sitting for so long's been hurting my back, I really love drawing, writing, and fleshing out my universe & it's roster of characters, both original & adopted. If I have to abandon post, I just wanna thank you all for staying with me, even if I am not all Gypsies Suns & Rainbows like I am in my stories.

To all who read this and know me behind the scenes, I'm sorry I've been either so quiet, or very snappy & impatient with you guys. To everybody else who just watches me for my art, I'm sorry my art has been so slow, I hope this entry explained everything and that I can pick up where I've left off as soon as I can.





Don't make the same mistakes as I did. Look after your brothers & sisters, they need you, and they need each other. Just remember to fall in love... ☮❤

Due to unforeseen circumstances, one of my participants (who I have yet to upload) has requested to drop out, last second.
No, there was no drama, so put down your pitchforks. It's due to a falling out in interest with Vore, that has since been made to my attention, just now.
The picture will be redone to properly fall under their preference, but for the time being, their piece will be put on hold for today.

No hard feelings between me and them, I'm just respecting their wishes. Everything else is and shall proceeding on schedule.

Happy Vore Day

Yeah, I'm still gonna be busy, but I do wanna let you guys know I'm still alive, kicking & screaming. Working on a special project upcoming next week, so I won't be responding to any questions until I'm 100% finished.

After this project is finished, expect a really serious update.

For reasons I cannot go into, without risking exposure to people who know me IRL, there has been a chain of extremely stressful events that has taken a massive toll on my mental health. All have been spanning ever since the beginning of the year, maybe even further back, I dunno anymore.

I wish I can say, but this year has caused me to grow too impatient with people, unreasonable. to the point that I have stirred drama that could've been completely avoidable. I should've kept my peace but I've chose to let my anger out on many key people in my friend group. I've grown to hate myself, and I've grown to hate my own art, my own OCs.

I feel what is best is that I take the entirety of July off grid. not just FA, but the entire internet in general.

To the people who I've hurt, I'm sorry, really I am, I know we had our drama, but I've acted an even bigger asshole and it killed several friendships, and I don't want to hurt anymore people.

I promise, come the end of the summer I will explain everything, some of you in my closest friend group know details here & there but I feel it should be fair when I come back I should explain everything that's been going wrong. I don't care what happens next, but I haven't been 100% truthful with you all.

I hope you all have a good month, and we'll see how I'm feeling in august.

You all are probably wondering why the change in my profile's banner...

I honestly hate being the bearer of bad news, but this has been held off for a few weeks now and I think needs to finally be addressed.

I have been making comments about this for a while, and have officially decided I have too many OCs to take care of. The reason is kinda simple but honestly still needs reasoning: I just have too many OCs to take care of, with too little ideas for them, and it has become very overwhelming. Do not worry, I am not completely axing my entire roster, hell no, many fan favorites are 100% here to stay, like Tess, Roxy & the Greene's, but a few are falling under my crosshairs, set for the cutting room floor, and are intended to be rehomed to some loving artists.

Unfortunately, I have already decided on my 1st OC to get the axe, and sadly, I'm gonna have to close the curtain on Liberta Lynx.

I seriously have nothing against her, as I really did have fun drawing her, but I really don't feel like I can make a true connection between her & my roster. When I first adopted her, I didn't really have a set plan for her, nor the motivation to properly develop her, despite me coming up with a plan. I didn't wanna half ass her, and not give her all of my effort, but I simply couldn't make anything interesting with her, unlike Gabrielle, or Cinder & Forrest, as I didn't feel I had a good slate to work with. I even confess that the 3 art pieces I have of her, the rough drafts were made all in the same month, but I simply never had to motivation to finish until the days they were released.

The good news is she is not forever abandoned. I have been in talks with her original owner,  EKL_DX78, who has agreed in taking her back. It is clear in recent months that, after loaning her to me, their ambition for her was much bigger and more well thought out than my vision for her. With them, I believe, is where she can truly blossom.

I may or may not make 1 more piece for her, and her art & bio will remain up, but she will now fall under my "from other artists" folder. I may make a separate section for her if/when the time comes to axe another OC. I only hope she finds a much better home, and my only wish is that she remains a breast vore character. (that way, gift art is never out of the question ;) ;) )

(Not typing this at work, I just now got home)

Me: *Wakes up at 6:30 in the morning, makes 30 minute commute to heavily understaffed workplace and works from 8:30 to as late as 6pm*

New Top sh!t GM: "Due to low morale & productivity, all staff must be present at work by 8 AM or earlier. this rule will take immediate effect this Monday"

Me: *Inhales* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The more days pass and visits I make on here, I'm starting to feel things that I never thought I'd feel about this site, and my art. my life choices...

I was really hoping I can troop this out, but I have a massive migraine from the screen (the kind that hurts your eyes like a mofo)
Good news is line art & colors are all finished, but shading & shine is gonna have to wait.
This does not change schedule, Nobodys getting held back, Angie's pic has the same progress so both pics can be done before tomorrow night, should nothing come up.

Again, many apologies.

Is about that time again. The big 28. I feel grouchier already

Its time I finally come out. This is why I don't make art as much anymore

I'm a youtuber with 1.5k subs in my private life. I record basically anything, Cod Zombies, Diablo, L4D2, even some obscure games.
Y'all are curious to know who I am? well, here's the real Zdog909, with face cam & voice reveal in every video.
don't go expecting any giga chad youtuber with a chatty voice, I'm still a little awkward despite the amount of views and subs I get

Hey guys, I'm still alive, I'm doing very well and getting mentally rejuvenated. honestly, I NEEDED this break, I havent felt this positive about myself in months, and I mean MONTHS.


Unfortunately, I didn't realize how close I was to spring break season. where I work, spring break is the 2nd busiest time of the year (sans Summer <,m,> ) and now I am officially on the full time roster, I've been working 5 days a week now instead of working weekends
Today was my 3rd day in a row working until past 6 pm, and unfortunately that will continue until possibly past my trip on the 16th.

I hate to say it but because of the significant spike in work, I may have to extend my break until past the 21st.

I do wanna say this is NOT, in no means, the end of Zdog909, I'm just more busy than I have ever been, I didn't expect to be put on full time work duties, especially in a work environment like this.


==============================================================================================================


With the bad news out of the way, now, time for some good news: ("when we had your parts... they were on sale!! hahaha!")

Instead of waiting post break for a major art dump, I will be releasing my art when its ready as per usual (if I have time to draw that is) I do got some finished art I will be uploading in a few hours from now, after I finish eating dinner.


If you have questions, or just wanna say hi, I will TRY to answer, asap. I hope you all understand, and thank you if you do.

==============================================================================================================

TL:DR: Spring Break, work full time, will be off until the 21st, art is still a part of my free time.

EDIT: Back on break.

Hey guys,
Sorry for the short notice.
I'm not going crazy, yet, so don't worry. I just wanted to say I'm going off grid for the remainder of March. I just alot on my plate lately that I feel going off FA & Discord will help ease my schedule.

To settle this, yes I did run into Drama (I was a little overdue, no?) but I'm doing ok, as it happened over a week ago. but the drama is not the reason. It is simply the fact that I have been extremely socially overwhelmed, especially with trying to balance my life with the internet. I've taken a bigger work schedule to help with my finances (cough cough vacation money cough) and things have been going well so far, but I've been finding myself progressively getting tired and exhausted to draw, getting to the point I've worked myself into a procrastinate "do it tomorrow" behavior.

Hopefully with this break, I will try to break the habit and have more time and motivation to draw more, and trust me I got some pretty SMEXY ART I wanna finish asap ;)
Every Friday I will check DMs but my responses will be at the extreme minimum.

My break starts tomorrow morning, but I will be back on the 4th of April. kinda funny considering I also got the trip on the 16th

Don't worry about me, again I'm doing fine, mentally, I'm just socially exhausted to the point its affecting my energy and schedule.

Sorry for the short notice again. have a good March, & St. Patty's Day. See y'all on the 4th.

TL:DR: Going away for the rest of March. still working on art.

So I do wanna fill you guys in, but I've been waiting for an opportunity like this for years.
In April, from the 16th-21st, I will be flying down to Seattle, to attend a concert with my dad.
I will be off grid as I will be sharing a hotel room, so I don't wanna risk getting caught.

I am so hyped, April can't get here any faster!!!! >w<

but ye, just wanna fill you guys in, rather tell everyone, one by one

For real this time. Been told all month it is the 13th, yet once again, jokes on me. Who cares, better early than late. XwX
Happy Valentine's day, everybody

read this ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10444103/

Slava Ukraini!
Please spread the word, while you're here.
I hate being broke, but if anybody's got dollars to spend, please send some love.
War sucks! What is it good for?

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

2 hours from "Zero Time" for me actually, but who cares, its 1/1/2023 somewhere.

Unless its the Ukraine war ending & the prices going down, PLEASE no more Historical events.

Resolutions:
- Make more art & stories (possibly commissions? well see)
- Lose 12 Kilos
- Save 5K
- Just be motivated
- Don't Die

Also the results are in, art based on the poll will happen at some point. thanks to everybody who voted.

How to get fatshamed without being fatshamed:
receive only clothes as presents from your family but they're all 2 sizes too small. my parents excuse: "you're losing weight, just keep up the work."

I officially hate Christmas
at least my sister ACTUALLY thought of what I wanted.

Thinking about doing Annual Votings like most artists I watch have been doing.

CLOSED

===============================================================
*Roxy Gabrielle & Cinder glare at eachother, in pointing spiderman meme*

Rx: Actually I don't care who's the best clearly it has to be Gabrielle

Ci: C'mon, Roxy's the face of ZDog909's profile

G: s'il vous plaît, mes amis, its clear you're the best, Cinder.

V: Maybe I should be the best character?

T: Vester! >:(

Rz: Guys please, lets have the people take a vote

F: Yeah, lets have the people have a chance

CLOSED

I haven't voted yet so my vote won't influence yours.

Ok, so you've been unbirthed, and your carrier starts to have sex...

If you decide to get in on the action by pleasuring her womb and yourself (preferably yourself against her walls), does that technically count as a threesome?

or is that still normal sex?

I know I gotta draw art of Tess & Liberta, mandatory new OC pieces of them, but my Slime/Flubber Fetish is starting to flare up. my new banner has caused a few friends to recognize my fetish and they're fully supporting it (even turned a few to the slime side).

what do you guys think, won't mind seeing a streak of Slime/Flubber related content? Chiichii, Bave or something else random entirely (not a new oc I'm done for a while). It won't grow to dominate the gallery, my heart is still reserved for my OCs & Roxy, so they ain't going anywhere. Just a little experimenting is all

After my upcoming pieces, Slime & Flubber vore related art, Yay or Nay?