~TohtoriCrow

I set this account for termination, but today had a change of heart and aborted it.

I've been on hiatus for 7 months now, and things don't feel much different. I still get anxiety attacks when I think about drawing; My OCD, perfectionism and jealous habits haven't changed; at best they've lessened.

I feel desperate, so I resorted to nuclear option and wipe all of my galleries clean. But I have to remember that there are still some people here on FurAffinity who do like my work, so I leave it be for your sake. Not for my sake - As far as I'm concerned, this gallery is tainted and rotten by my bad habits, and my works are a reminder of those habits.

e621 account is deleted, but my works still exist there.

I don't know at the moment am I going to start a new gallery, or even upload illustrations online again. I may keep them private to my Discord friends and select few. For now at least.

It's going to take a lot more effort to recover my passion for drawing, and even more to purify my soul.

I'm quitting art posting for unforeseeable future. My freelancing is clashing with my internship, it's put so much unnecessary pressure on my shoulders and chest. I leave home to work, then return home to work more. I haven't had time or will to read my books or play my games, my life for 8 months now has been work. And I've hit my limit.

My art career hasn't been much fruitful, I'm struggling with jealousy. I can't bear to watch my works after looking at others; I get angry, disappointed, arrogant and stubborn - I feel like I owe it to myself to be better and better, for the sake of numbers and clients. It's not for the sake of creation something, I want to be a good artist who earns money... I haven't had the chance to be happy with life. I hit a mental boiling point on Friday and have spent this weekend basically dead inside. Wishing for it too.

I'm making the choice to focus on my life for now. My galleries will remain here while I go outside and live more. But I hope what I've created here has been enough. That I've made adequate work, that's as big of a validation I need.

I'm quitting art posting for unforeseeable future. My freelancing is clashing with my internship, it's put so much unnecessary pressure on my shoulders and chest. I leave home to work, then return home to work more. I haven't had time or will to read my books or play my games, my life for 8 months now has been work. And I've hit my limit.

My art career hasn't been much fruitful, I'm struggling with jealousy. I can't bear to watch my works after looking at others; I get angry, disappointed, arrogant and stubborn - I feel like I owe it to myself to be better and better, for the sake of numbers and clients. It's not for the sake of creation something, I want to be a good artist who earns money... I haven't had the chance to be happy with life. I hit a mental boiling point on Friday and have spent this weekend basically dead inside. Wishing for it too.

I'm making the choice to focus on my life for now. My galleries will remain here while I go outside and live more. But I hope what I've created here has been enough. That I've made adequate work, that's as big of a validation I need.

I may have to take some time to un-learn things. I'm overwhelmed with rules and "rules" for drawing, nothing I do feels right now. On top of my jealousy towards others and obsession with numbers, everything is also out of control. I'm a mess.

Not a big secret, just finally admitting I've never had these things figured out properly.

If you find something that's problematic and needs improvement in my style, let me know. I'm making a list of things I should put special focus in.

Think I should focus more on my OC's? Lepa, Onyki... shesh, I'm starting to forget them myself.

Lack of emotions, literal emotions, with wooden stock faces? Poor colors? Do I need more contrast or vibrancy? Backgrounds and interaction? Have I done too much or not enough? What do I need to do with my art to make it more appealing?

I've burned down my DeviantArt account, that site is a breeding ground for thieves, bots and AI fake art. And Twitter started to limit how many posts we can see daily.

I've heard about Pixiv and Instagram, and asking here too if you could suggest a new site to post my art in. Bonus points for approving featureless softcore.

In other news I'm currently doing the Color Wheel Character Challenge but I try to squeeze at least one summer piece for July. My art production compared to pre-2020 has come to snail's pace... I'd normally be upset about it but I like to think I'm just re-finding my passion while also making my work the actual best they can be. I don't like rushing these for the sake of views.

Hope you have a good Summer. Have a good walk outside!

I've had looked up new art sites to post my work. Twitter works fine, but hard to get noticed there, DeviantArt is disgusting, Newgrounds did not work so I deleted that in a day. So I'm gonna restart uploading here. FA's honestly the best posting site for me; easy uploading, fast and very warm reception every time, it's been the most encouraging site for me as an illustrator.

Hope it keeps being that way. There's still some stuff here I do not like, and outright despise, so I just try to ignore that part. Not like DeviantArt was free of that stuff.

https://korrikatti.newgrounds.com

My future uploads - both SFW and NSFW are posted here. You're gonna need an account to see NSFW pieces.

I only hope it's better than this site, it's not a low bar.

I've thought about starting accepting commissions. There was a time before I did comms, but I didn't like my style and was under bad pressure. Now it'd be slightly different.

(https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47980931/)
(https://e621.net/posts/3484819?q=po.....mon narrikatti)
(https://e621.net/posts/3465674?q=po.....mon narrikatti)

I've found my comfort zone in artstyle, that's both efficient and looks pretty decent. Some of the people I've asked have said they would pay for this kind of work. So, if I opened up a couple commission slots by the end of the month, would you be interested? Do you have an idea in mind and are willing to pay me? My DMs are open for discussion. Just bear in mind that I have very strict NSFW-rules and I won't be compromising, much.

My prices range between 30-40 euros for now. I'm planning out a more proper comm list/sheet. 'YCH-sheet' included.

Thank you.

A friend of mine suggested I set up an account on Newgrounds. The site allows NSFWorks and as for the shit content here on FA, there might not be as much of that there. So, any watcher of mine here; Do you use Newgrounds yourself, and would you recommend it to me for future uploads?

If yes, I'd gladly bring my stuff there alongside e621 and DeviantArt, and it'd make a great replacement for this site.

There's a lot of bones, blood, pumpkins and rumpkins I want to draw for this year's Halloween

I'm coming out of hiatus slowly, I got one new piece on the works which I intend to be last upload for this site. It's lewd and summer-y.

I've gone through things that I dislike in my style and found different approaches. In other words I'm re-learning this stuff, which might be the best way for me to go about it moving forward. I say this much: "clean" artstyle doesn't suit me.

Gonna do more working out and training to keep my mental health in better check. Also I've managed to cut coke from my life. 2 weeks sober, drinking mineral water now! I dare say my life hasn't felt better.

I'm gonna backtrack a bit and take back the bit about deleting my account. While I'm not exactly popular or anything alike, there's clearly folks here who like what I do, so I'm not gonna slap you in the face and delete my gallery and artwork just because I've grown tired of this place. You deserve that much.

Still, I'm gonna move my future works to e621 and DeviantArt, possibly Twitter in near future... Although! My "vacation" might have to be extended to unforeseeable future cause burnout's still lingering.

I apologize. Emotions have been running high recently as I'm pondering my existence and meaning behind it.

Will delete my account in 3 days. In the future my lewds go to e621 https://e621.net/posts?tags=narrikatti and safe works to DeviantArt. https://www.deviantart.com/tohtoricrow

I'd probably should feel sad about it, but not really. This site's very bleh :/

A tiresome look, unregulated, occasional pedophilia and other things that leave me disturbed. I have some good memories and accomplishments done here, I'd leave my gallery like a museum to commemorate those achievements, but I really don't want to look at this site again. At least e621 and DeviantArt have nice colors to look at, and there's less uncomfortable imagery.

When I say tired, I mean tired.

Bye.

On an artist block/burnout/hiatus again. Started playing Pokemon Unite, it pretty much swallowed all my phone memory but it's plenty of fun (coming from MOBA noob)

I should do more small-scale pieces. For the past 7 years all my projects have been big-scale full-time projects with everything. Think I really should make a simple pencil-sketch project and call it complete.

I'd like to know is there something """off""" in my recent uploads. Even if you'd just like some change in look or style, it'd give me food for thought.

Dunno will there be posts for June, or even July. Considering doing more workouts and dumbbells

Picked up my 3DS Smash Bros and having a nostalgic blast with it. Greninja's still my main, and Rosalina's actually fun?

I need to play the whole roster.

(Yes that Greninja PFP is based on my love for the frog ninja smasher. Even got the amiibo)

Some of these aren't posted here... yet

Pokemon:

Nite the Banette [Pieces posted, redesign wip]
"Kyria" Steelwing the Corviknight [Also posted pieces, minor redesign on works (More like updated look)]
"Arbok" the Greninja [If my bouncy PFP counts]
Tuhka the Hydreigon [Design done, no publish-ready pieces done (There's also a chance for Garchomp rival from the leftover sketches)]
Eve the Gourgeist [Nothing new with her, same fat ass milf]
Yggdrasil the Torterra [Should I redesign/update her?]
Malamar [No name yet, only one old piece made, but I love the mon]
Aromatisse, Empoleon, Decidueye ["Rotbeak", "Light", "Long-eye", companions for Steelwing. Busty birb battlers]
Dark Skitty/Delcatty [Short-lived persona OC, before Luxray stole my heart]
Haunteon [Fakemon I bought from a friend. Should absolutely draw more of this one!]

Hollow Knight:

Autua & Lurk [Updated look with a new cloak]
Vesta [Moth spearwoman with Elder Baldur's Shell shield]

My originals:

Lepa [My first "real" oc. Redesigned/updated a lot, definitely will more again]
Elrit [No need to update, much. Maybe cut a few needless fins and ears]
Hope [Amabie who don't need clothes. I think she's just fine how she is]
Onyki [Orca deep diver. Just fine]

On a scale from 1-5, how hard is it make a shark anthro?

Pot Boi!

Ducky!

Would Smash most of my OC roster. Now I wanna hear who else would Smash/Pass

Capcom announced a fighting game collection, which includes some interesting titles, Hyper Street Fighter 2, and all Darkstalkers games, with rollback and online. Yes please!

Obvious catgirl is obvious, but for reals, Darkstalkers is my favorite fighting game after Smash Bros. for the theme and roster; Classic horror characters and monsters. I'm glad Capcom hasn't forgotten the game.

Definitely Steam port, I ain't paying for PS to have fun scratching people to death