~Synfull

enjoying my time on bluesky STILL! using it as an art archive alongside insta, discord, and here. this time i have a NSFW account to plug as well!!
SFW - v4nny
NSFW - inhabitedz

trying my luck here, trying to save up for somethin'. no specific examples available other than what's attached to this bsky post. if all goes well, i may offer this as a future commission type.

US$35, payment via paypal/kofi, upfront, and will be finished faster than my normal TAT (which is usually 1 - 3 months). most of my will/won't draws apply, but this time i'll be willing to draw humans. comment or pm to claim a slot.

tos: https://v4commz.carrd.co/#tos
will/won't draws: https://v4commz.carrd.co/#comms

slots: 2/3 available

Hey whats up vanny here

I've yet to get a commission on this platform, but I figured an update I can pin to my profile would be helpful for posterity's sake.

Things at home have gotten to me a bit more than usual recently, and with the uncertainty surrounding whether I can make moving out by end of this year a reality, it's created lots of room in my head for depressive episodes and breakdowns. The pervasive sense of hopelessness isn't something I can easily get out of this time, so I'll be taking a break from monetising my art (commissions, on-demand art, etc.) from anybody regardless of closeness.

It's partially the situation at home sending me into depressive spirals, *but* I've noticed part of the problem is my brain associating the frequent disappointment regarding trying to promote my commissions or OC selling with the idea of art in general, which has contributed to a very long art block that's still ongoing. It's nobody's fault specifically, it's just how it is in this vast internet. I put my instagram on hiatus as well so the stress of feeling the "need" to post is lessened.

I'm trying to rethink my relation to my art, and *really* putting in the work to not rush myself. The only commission currently in my queue may take a while, though I've already notified. I want to be careful with the balancing act between mind and paper/canvas, but I'm hoping to finish the commission within 3-6 months since that's the longest TAT stated in my TOS, and also for professionalism. Shop will still be open, especially after the predicted leftovers from September's convention.

Will probably still post here since I have no attachment to FA in the way I do with Insta. Yippee

Exactly what it says on the tin.
https://v4commz.carrd.co/#comms

Paypal only, if interested preferably reach out to me on Discord @ 777trials for faster responses (compared to FA).

https://itaku.ee/profile/synfull

not much else to say other than not knowing how to gain traction on there, but it's there. considering itaku over inkbunny but we'll see

posting this and expecting replies is probably a long shot, but i'd rather try anyway. anybody got alternatives to fa and inkbunny?

i love inkbunny's ux and ui, but every time i open it there's always some art that looks vaguely cub-like on the front page popular pieces which personally doesn't vibe with me at all. i want a website that's good for posting art where i don't have to see untagged cub art all the time, plus the "no human porn" rule on the website is limiting. fa leaves much to be desired but at least i can post whatever i draw without worrying about most things.

need reccs that people have personally tried and enjoyed!

hai guys. haven't been posting for a while because i've just not had any motivation to post, which is funny in its own way.

i've been drawing a decent amount, even if some of it is human/human stuff, there is human art i actually *can* post. thing is, i've been really burnt out on posting it anywhere except my discord and some of them on insta. i dunno, it just feels daunting to post on IB and FA. IB has the whole no-nsfw-human thing which gives me a mental block i can't get out of for some reason, and FA i just don't really feel like posting on. i don't use twitter to post, i'm not really interested in using my cohost or anything like that because it's daunting. so, yeah. if you're wondering if i've abandoned this account somehow; nope. still here. i lurk sometimes. i feel demotivated posting-wise and i don't know when i'll be back to regularly posting again. shrugs.

Hello!!!!!! Hi!!! Hello!! I am planning to participate in this year's artfight...........how do u play this...taps mic

>> https://artfight.net/~V4NNY <<
>> https://artfight.net/~V4NNY <<
>> https://artfight.net/~V4NNY <<

Hello! Vanny here. I have nothing of value to add about the recent FA shenanigans nor do I care very much to comment. Instead, here's a list of places you can find me listed in order of most to least active.

SERVER, MAIN ART ARCHIVE: https://discord.gg/Ujt6mDa
INSTAGRAM, 2ND ART GALLERY: https://www.instagram.com/v4nnyzzz/
INKBUNNY, 3RD ART GALLERY: https://inkbunny.net/Synfull
TOYHOUSE, OC STORAGE: https://toyhou.se/V4NNY
KO-FI, TIP ME: https://ko-fi.com/vannyz

My server's the best place to find a compilation of my recent art starting from around late 2022 till now - SFW and NSFW. I upload literally everything there as long as it's for public consumption. Often the art I post there isn't available on Insta and not even here, so there's your best bet if you'd like to find my works in original quality. If you're not interested in discord for whatever reason, Instagram is my 2nd art gallery. Just be aware you'll be missing out on a fair bit of art, and IG compresses to shit.

Inkbunny doesn't allow humans in NSFW, so either I'm using FA as the redirect or just straight up using an image hosting site - or just Discord, I guess! I know, longevity and all that digital stuff, but I'll make do with what I have.

Toyhouse is just for me to store characters, lots of them have backstories and such. If you're interested, check them out. Ko-fi exists for the folks who want to support me financially with even just a few dollars my way (one-time or monthly).

Have a good day ahead!

so I've been considering using Inkbunny as one of my galleries/art archives.
>> https://inkbunny.net/Synfull <<

bear with me, it's quite empty save for a few pieces since i've been quite busy and don't have access to my laptop recently. i've found the UX and UI to be way more welcoming and worth navigating compared to FA's. while it's not a full "packing and leaving for IB bye" or whatever, i do want to try IB out for a while and see if i'll stick around for long.

i also have a nsfw twitter which i may or may not unpriv soon, but it's a lot of rambling and not so much of my art, fair warning.
>> https://www.twitter.com/sockpawbs <<

i've been allowing myself to express myself through feral art and exploring myself and my therianness through it, regardless of my fears of others' opinions. though feral art isn't majority of my gallery (so far), and IB doesn't allow humans in nsfw art so...no idea if i'll stick around on IB for long? shrugs. we'll see!

in other news, for anybody interested in my personal life; i won't be around from June 1st to 8th because of a work trip to South Korea! expect delayed or no replies throughout that time period, but i'll get back whenever i can, thanks for understanding!

Like my work and have money to spare? I have a ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/vannyz

I've retired the tiers because there was no interest in them, but it still functions as a tipjar just fine! One-time or monthly options are available and for as little as USD$2! art is my passion and hobby, and doing commissions isn't feasible at this point in my life. every bit of financial support goes a long way and is one way to motivate me to keep going.

FA is my main gallery, but I also have an Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/v4nnyzzz/) which functions the same, and a Discord server (https://discord.gg/Ujt6mDa) for all sorts of works I don't post here for various reasons.

Hey y'all! Worked on a carrd for all my commission info and stuff like that!

>> https://v4commz.carrd.co/ <<

Commissions are currently publicly closed because I'm still on an art hiatus and wish to rest for a long(hopefully) while. But takin' a look is free, especially for those who've been wanting to know my prices. Switched my pricing display from ko-fi to carrd because ko-fi tends to not show that info once I close commissions on there, whereas I can keep this carrd up and pull it out anytime someone requires the information. You know the drill.

Thanks for lookin' and considerin' if you do!

Hello!

I don't make journals often, and it's probably been a fair bit since my last one. I never really see much use to posting journals here, other than announcements of things or reflections that'll probbaly be deleted after a while.

I wanted to remind y'all that I have a ko-fi, for monetary tips and membership tiers where you get original-res files of select works and other rewards here and there(https://ko-fi.com/vannyz). I'm not really sure if the files present in the current folders are enough for folks since I only have one subscriber, but if anybody ever sees this and decides to support me, you can always feedback and I'll take it into consideration and better my rewards for that.

But yeah, life hasn't been treating me very well and my mental health has been quite bad. School's back in swing so it just tires me out and makes me have...not very good thoughts about things. I haven't been posting much to Insta or here because I haven't been drawing much, and even if I do I just don't feel like posting it. Laziness or simply because I don't want to. I dunno.

Hope you all are doing alright though. :)

i don't make a habit of talking about things like this unless it's happened to myself, but i figured a little life update would do some good(for me, mostly).

things have been just so-so! other than...well, certain situations. on another note, i found out yesterday through SMS that I'm considered high-risk because I'd been in close contact with a COVID-infected patient. turns out it's my dad, oof. but everybody in the house is double vaccinated and boosted(I got mine just last week), and my dad was relatively healthy prior, so hopefully COVID doesn't affect him too much! i most worry about the loss of smell/taste once someone recovers, especially since i don't want that to happen to me, let alone anybody i know. but touch wood!

hopefully i don't get it. the only troublesome thing right now is needing to take an ART test every morning before school for the remainder of next week, but if it's for safety then i won't complain too much~

hope whoever's reading this is staying safe!

i'm not sure what to preface this with, or what this journal is gonna be about exactly. just things and thoughts as they come, i guess. this might not stay up for long, but the lack of responses on my FA journals probably indicates i can post this here till i feel better and delete it.

lately i've struggled with having inspiration for art, and very recently i had a falling out with a close friend. nobody's fault but my own. the emotional turmoil was particularly bad on the day it happened, but subsided a little in the past few days. still it's been eating me up bit by bit every day in this time span. i wonder if i'm really coping, or if the bad feelings will hit me like a wave only months from now.

i've been exhausted the past year. from everything. school, relationships/friendships(or perceived lack thereof), socializing, my home situation. things have been really difficult the past year. i've been depressed, an anxious mess. less than previous years, but also i feel lonely. the recent incident has also made me admit to myself just how childish and immature i really am, even if it's not something that shows often as far as i'm aware. i'm not in tune with my emotions, which is something i've known for a while now but this just...made it painfully obvious.

with the changes i've made to syn, it was therapeutic and genuinely fun to draw him. until i had said falling out. now i don't know anymore. i'll still keep him of course, he matters too much to me for me to just drop him like as if i didn't have years of history with him. i love him too much, and he's an extension of me. it's just... i don't know what to do. drawing his current form has soured a bit, but at the same time i like it. maybe the answer will come to me naturally.

it's really hard to just exist. let alone gain the motivation to draw. i've mostly just been doing work for school and playing games the past few months. sometimes i think i should quit drawing, and when the dispute happened i really did consider it. but then i drew stuff on clip studio and the brush i was using reminded me why i love drawing(digitally and in general) so much. so i don't think i'll really quit. i think i need to take some time to remember what i do this for. i've mostly just felt really useless and suicidal every week.

i've not wanted to leave social media for years now, but i've...been thinking about it. deleting all my profiles everywhere. but it's not realistic, because online is where all my friends are, and i can get advice and help from genuine people in the communities i'm in even if i don't have many close friends. but y'know, the urge is there.

frankly, i feel like a monster. all i do is hurt people like some wild animal, not often but when i do it hurts a lot. i feel like i claw and scratch and bite at people who try to get close, some days i just don't want to interact at all. i can never tell if my brain is going to not want to talk to people. i don't want to be rude.

i'm really tired. i'm trying my best. but i feel like a bad person. a childish one, at least. but i guess that makes sense because i'm still relatively young, i'm not even 30 yet or whatever people count as "old". i have things to live for, i'm sure, but it's hard to want to continue. i'm sorry.

i'm not really making much sense. i feel suicidal, a little. no games i have right now make me happy. nothing makes me happy. today i napped multiple times, probably to make up for thursday's sadness. i don't usually nap so many times a day. my family has been doing things too. there's a lot of drama on my mother's side, because she loves to pick fights i suppose. toxic person things.

i don't know what to do anymore.

don't be too concerned, though. i've been suicidal many times, but i've never acted on those impulses. i don't wish to anytime soon, and i'm confident i won't. even if the urge is overwhelming sometimes. i'm sorry for being so eccentric and weird. to no one in particular, i suppose.

they scratch a very, very, very deep part of my likings that i don't normally show through my nsfw art......... it. makes me want to draw it for once. maybe not with syn, but i don't really know with what else. maybe syn? i dunno, i'll figure it out eventually <:)

Commissions are now OPEN! 5 slots available at the time of me posting this - ko-fi updates the count automatically - though that may change if demand is high enough~

http://ko-fi.com/feralatticbastard/commissions
http://ko-fi.com/feralatticbastard/commissions
http://ko-fi.com/feralatticbastard/commissions

Check it!!!!!!! whip nae naes
https://twitter.com/mightbesynfull

who knows what's gonna be in store. maybe i'll post nsfw wips/sketches i don't bother posting here. actually already posted a wip but it's not quite furry and uploading to FA is a pain in the ass if it's not a full piece so! yes. twitter. nsfw. yeas. idk how twitter works im stil very much a boomer it's 1am thank you

toot toot it's 2021
still crazy bothered by how it's no longer double digits but that's a small gripe.

been thinkin' bout stuff, lots. 2020 has been good and bad, but i think personally it's done me much more good than bad. of course that's probably only because my country has measures for covid and everybody else is maintaining themselves well enough here. staying at home without feeling obliged to go outside other than for work and/or school feels good, and the rampant introvert that i am it's given me much needed relief.

to anybody who ever reads this journal, how are you? how will you be in 2021? i hope whatever difficulties you're currently going through, they'll be resolved eventually. probably ain't easy but i'm wishin for the best for y'all anyway.

this time i won't delete this journal, maybe. just hope whoever this gets out to that you're doing alright. sending good vibes out there in the big vast universe. <3

I don't make journals much, but I figured I'd make one regarding  The_Character_Consultancy 's works!

One of my pieces was used in their Alien Ecosystem blog post, which I think is pretty neat(with my permission, of course). There's 2 parts so far, Part 1, and Part 2 (the aforementioned piece is in Part 2). Both parts are very interesting and detailed guides on alien species building! So y'know, if you wanna worldbuild and struggle with making alien species, you know where to look.

Figuring out the structure, classes, naming said classes, orders and traits for these alien species... It's quite detailed. I'm into worldbuilding myself and even though I don't do much of aliens or speciesbuilding, these are both really informative reads and I enjoyed looking through them.

Hayley also does psychological character profiles too, where you get to work with them on figuring out the details and analyse your character. I think it's a cool concept, and I hope more people get interested in their stuff. Other things too, though you're gonna have to check out their profile to see it for yourself.