~PKMousie

Then you'll be SUPER EXCITED to hear that you can have a whole bunch of that stuff in wallpapery high definition, with a heaping helping of amazing facts and care info, for one low, low payment of $1.99! Just grab yourself a copy of my brand-spanking-new...

PREVIEW EDITION of Houseplants: A Devotion for iPad

Available in the App Store right now!

What??? I'm writing an encyclopedia/coffee table book/blog/care guide/art project??? How the heck did that happen? Who cares! Support my obsession, and help turn it into a career!

Hell, tell your kooky aunt who likes plants! Tell everybody! LET'S DO THIS!!!

Check out mah new Tumblr!

http://insanelytwisteddogs.tumblr.com/

And follow my other Tumblrs for the love of all that is holy!

http://wunderkemmer.tumblr.com/
http://pjratmk-ultra.tumblr.com/
http://ttaip.tumblr.com/
http://houseplantporn.tumblr.com/

I am an attention whore like that.

Two words: Houseplant porn.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pkmous.....68187788/show/

http://wunderkemmer.tumblr.com/

Yo eyes gonna bleed butterfly juice.

What was Jameson scared of?

Trash bags
Fly swatters
Rulers
Plants
Paper plates
Measuring cups

http://scaredmastiff.tumblr.com/

The saga continues.

My dog is a big baby.

I'm blogging about it.

http://scaredmastiff.tumblr.com/

My camera work caught the eyes of the peeps who make my gear! :)

http://www.profoto.com/blog/behind-.....-a-d1-air-kit/

I'm flattered, to say the least. :D :D :D

http://wunderkemmer.tumblr.com/ - Photography & Creative Shit
http://ttaip.tumblr.com/ - Things To Avoid In Photoshop, my hideous in-joke shoops

Please? <3

Ask about a kink or fetish, and I'll give you my frank evaluation.

I'll even try to be a bit provocative about it!

All one of you who reads this, I mean.

I've been putting my photography up on Tumblr recently, to try to reduce the fire hose of imagery that winds up on Flickr to a more reasonable trickle. The best of the best, as it were, and more than you get to see here. I've also been collecting my pointedly stupid Photoshop high-jinx in a second Tumblr, where you won't understand any of the in-jokes. But you should totally follow both! I'm so internet lonely. So... isolated... nobody loves me...

http://wunderkemmer.tumblr.com/
http://ttaip.tumblr.com/

C'mon... shoot me some likes. It's like crack to me.

Whoop whoop!

http://www.boingboing.net/2011/06/2.....-photo-fr.html

Too bad that picture is from years ago! I'll take what I can get. :)

I'm using puppies to farm attention for my photography! And it works! :)

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pixe.....374024755?mt=8

Wow, what ISN'T new in this version? :)

- Color cycling Spray & Prays! They're triptastic!
- Individual tracking of certain settings per touch, like Spray & Pray spin rate, spin angle, and color cycling! Now you can pretend you're the Bellagio's fountains!
- Smoked glass menus. See what you're doing in real time even on the iPhone!
- Dustier dust!
- Bees that wander when bored!
- Better tuned particle counts!
- OpenGL improvements to reduce screen blanking!
- Padded bees & dust wrapping around the edge, for more space to play in!
- Trails now work on the iPhone 3G!
- Actual credits!
- A link to the instructions on the PixelSwarm website!

And at long last... PREFERENCES!!!

- 18 different Pre-defined swarms for you to play with!
- Save your own swarms! Never lose a cool swarm again!
- Add and remove saved swarms from iTunes! You can e-mail the files to friends!

And a last minute bonus, social featues!!!

- Take and share screenshots from inside the app! It takes a bit of skill, but it works!
- Share a link to PixelsSwarm with friends! Please! :)

Gosh that's a lot of stuff.

Hello 1.5!

PIXELSWARM PRESET ROLE CALL:

Brain Worms, Catching Flies With Honey, Double Rainbow, Ginkoverload, Grave Of The Firefiles, La Grande Jatte, Loopty Loop, Magic Tubeworm, Oktoberfest, Pipe Dream, PixelSwarm Classic, Planet Mold, Space Macaw, State Fair Surprise, String Theory, The Life Aquatic, Violet Beauregarde, Volnado

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pixe.....374024755?mt=8

Hey all you broke-ass furs that still somehow own an iPhone or iPad and habitually do a lot of drugs...

I have just the thing for you.

PixelSwarm (my super trippy particle system toy) is 100% FREE for the entire week of thanksgiving. That's right... FREE... as in price completely slashed... the normal, super spendy $0.99 bill is no more. For a whole week!

So! Grab a copy, tell your friends to grab a copy, and have fun with it, okay?

And thanks for making my hobby pay for itself. :)

http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/pixe.....374024755?mt=8

Guess who just banged out not one but two updates to their iOS apps? That's right, me!!! I'm totally, psychotically proud of them. I went crazy with slick new features and animations! My husband made me aim high! He's got mad QA skills. Shit had to be tight!

PixelsSwarm 1.2 is already in the app store. That's my trippy particle system. I added TONS of shit:

- Updated for iOS 4.2 and retina display
- Trippy motion trails
- Adjust particle counts and sizes
- Vary some of the settings randomly
- Tweak even more particle behaviors and physics

I even added a smart engine that scales the particle count back when they're bigger, to keep the frame rate nice and fluid! Most of the time it even works! Unless you're being a jerk and maxing everything out to make me look bad, of course. :)

http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/pixe.....374024755?mt=8

That's just a fun toy, though! I'm most happy with my serious photographer's exposure calculator Expositor 2.0, which I just dumped into the review queue tonight! It'll probably be in the App Store in a week. Updated for the retina display, the high-res art is gorgeous. On top of that, I added a brand new super-size iPad version with shit-tons of new scene types, eye candy, and a slide rule long enough to satisfy even freaks taking pinhole photographs of crap in outer space:

- EVs from 16 to -6
- ISOs from 3 to 25600
- F-Stops from 0.5 to 512
- Shutter speeds from 1/8000 second to 8 hours
- Exposure compensation from -42 to 41

F512? That's just silly!

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/expo.....315686714?mt=8

Now I can freakin' relax and watch some TV and play Fallout for once. Oof! :)

My crazy particle system for the iPad and iPhone has been updated and just went live!

http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/pixe.....374024755?mt=8

Download your updates today! From the notes:

Updated for iOS 4.2 and Retina Display.

There are TONS of new settings for you to play with. With an engine that automatically adds and removes the particles based on their size on screen, you can try out lots of different effects in real-time without always bringing your device to a crawl... sometimes, but not always!

- Trippy motion trails!
- Adjust particle counts and sizes!
- Randomly vary some of the settings!
- Tweak particle behaviors and physics!

There's probably more than twice the settings in this version, but I've lost count. Hopefully you'll be able to save your experiments in the next release. It's getting kind of silly at this point!

I was giving advice/comfort to the 20-something bi kid coming out to friends of my parents, and it had me thinking back over my life, about the bullying and ambient hostility towards gays I experienced when I was growing up (smear the queer, fag tag, fortunately it was before "that's so gay"), which for me, thankfully, has been pretty light (go Vermont!), when I remembered something even harder to deal with, for me at least.

Once I was a young man I had this total anxiety when girls would approach me, you know... that way... I felt forced to perform, or people would find out I was gay, people I don't trust. Danger. Danger. Danger.

Now I know it's a little absurd to complain about a hot girl grabbing you in a campus parking lot and slow grinding on you to the soundtrack of some retarded Swayze movie, or hot girls trying to steal a kiss on the couch at a drug-addled party or in the car as you drop them off after a different drug-addled party or crashing in your room to spoon at a drug-addled... uh... you get the idea... but it certainly had me panicked! That shit's fraught! You never know who you're gonna piss off! Maybe the hot girls, at least! My money's on the drunken frat teds in line of sight.

That's all sorts of fucked up. Homophobia makes people crazy!!!

P.S. Art school girls are hot.

The Chap: Even Your Friend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frrO0y2pqZQ

Now, I love The Chap, so I'm a little biased... but if this isn't the cutest, furriest purriest video in forever, I don't know what's what!

You know those icons currently infesting FA? The ones where the paw goes over the face and the expression changes?

I want one with a knife flashing down my face, leaving it all skinless and muscley as I'm flayed, then a, like, bill-posting brush slopping my face back up onto my head on the upstroke.

Will someone do that for me pretty-please? :)

My new Mac Pro is going to show up ANY MINUTE NOW.

It's out for delivery. Should arrive in the next 30 minutes.

I am so very excited.

It is a BEAST.

From that lovely firebrand thewielder:

[01] Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post
Guts? It hardly takes guts when nobody's watching.

[02] Would you do meth if it was legalized?
I have maybe done crystal a couple times out of curiosity. But no, I would not, because in general, stimulants suck. Like I need heart palpitations for ten hours.

[03] Abortion: for or against it?
I don't really have a problem with it. I hope people try to avoid them as studiously as they avoid cavities by brushing, but it's better to kill a baby in the womb than bring an unwanted child into a miserable life. Maybe that's pessimistic, but look at all the miserable children! Family planning is super important! I just wish more people planned. Hence: sex education.

[04] Do you think a country would fail with a female president?
Male or female, it won't matter. She's not going to push the big red button when she has PMS. It's all out of control anyway, for good or bad.

[05] Do you believe in the death penalty?
I do not think the death penalty is an effective deterrent. I'm not particularly incensed we have one, but I know it's being misapplied. Everything is misapplied. I suppose it'd be nice not to have one, but I'm not going to fight for it.

[06] Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
Hurgalurgalurgalurgh

[07] Are you for or against premarital sex?
If you haven't checked each other out for sexual compatibility before you get married, you are fucking stupid.

[08] Do you believe in God?
Do you believe in Zeus?

[09] Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
I'm GAY MARRIED SUCKERS!!!

[10] Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?
Only if they refuse to learn English. How's that for nuanced? It's only illegal because the previous backstabbing, murderous immigrants said so.

[11] A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?
What are you kidding me? Kids these days are not raised to handle having kids at 12. That baby needs an actual PARENT. Both of them, apparently!

[12] Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?
The age should be up to a child's parents, once the child had matured to a point that it won't make them leotarded. Which is probably about the same time they get curious about it. In moderation, always.

[13] Should the war in Iraq be called off?
Yes. It's pointless. It will accomplish nothing with any better chance than... chance itself.

[14] Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?
I would like the option of killing myself, and believe others deserve the same respect.

[15] Do you believe in spanking your children?
A furious glare and a stern stab of the finger into the hollow of your chest to set you tottering backwards can be as effective as any spank could ever be.

[16] Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
I have burned an American flag to demonstrate my feelings about prohibitions on burning flags. In many forms. Sketches of flags, little toothpick ones, flags on shirts, and an actual flag. WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE???

[17] Who do you think would have made a better president? McCain or Obama?
Obama, even though he's a traitor to the gays.

[18] Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Hahaha. I want people to judge me, and the people who don't like me can then stay away so I won't have to deal with them. What is their judgment, really? It only matters if you think it does. I am unconcerned about their ability to influence me with it.

Woot! My trippy particle system toy has risen to #52 in the App Store under entertainment! It was at #53 this morning... interestingly Apple updates their stats throughout the day!

So how many of two million iPad owners have to buy your app to push it to #52? No clue, and I won't know until Monday. But the great news is that, for the first time, one of my apps is visible in the App Store via casual browsing and not a search. I'm flipping out. :)

Holy crap! I taught myself OpenGL and wrote my first iPad app in ONE WEEK, PixelSwarm! Apple reviewed it for a week, and now it's in the App Store... a beautiful, interactive particle system. I think it's pretty darn cool, but I'm a geek that likes trippy toys. It's even multitouch! I think it's best on an iPad or iPhone 3GS, on my 3G it's pretty slow even after toning down the particles. :)

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pixe.....374024755?mt=8

From the copy:

Relax and bliss out while playing with clouds of space dust! PixelSwarm is a particle system for the iPad (and iPhone!) that responds to your touch with beautiful swirls of colors and motion.

PixelSwarm has four types of particles all behaving in different ways, so you can experiment with touches and gestures to create all sorts of weird behaviors. Tap it, stroke it, press and hold multiple fingertips... Find stable orbits! Create washes of color! Toss dots from finger to finger and play catch! You'll have to play to find out what it can do.

Using an engine that takes advantage of the iPad's hardware acceleration, PixelSwarm's graphics are lush and smooth, with up to 20000 particles at your whim. That's a lot of particles!

Oh MAN I wish I could post these latest pix here... but nooooo...

Here's the set. On today's menu: Rubber maid gets the humilator gag.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pkmous.....7623661448308/

That's right...

http://bighugelabs.com/onblack.php?.....amp;size=large

You know it...

http://bighugelabs.com/onblack.php?.....amp;size=large

Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah!

Alas, I can't show you here because it's totally dirty fetish photography! Awww! Too bad! Also, I'm still working on narrowing the choices down... I've only gotten the chance to put 5 (of 591) on Flickr so far. So much work! I can't even winnow without getting exhausted, let alone edit!

You better believe I can link you to the goods, though! Boosh! The first ones are in a more portrait style. Some of the others I have left are just plain crazy.

Here's two, you can dig for the rest. Stay tuned?

http://bighugelabs.com/onblack.php?.....amp;size=large
http://bighugelabs.com/onblack.php?.....amp;size=large