Christmas and 2024
Posted a year agoHope the Fesitivities are treating everybody well no matter what you are all upto.
Had Christmas on my own this year but it was actually really good, made my own Christmas Dinner with all the trimmings, was real nice.
Didn't visit family as I wasn't emotionally ready for it since having radiotherapy early December.
This year has been quite chaotic, getting diagonised with Thryoid cancer early January wasn't great, even more so the constant delays of my surgery, had to have a full Thyroidectomy, removal of both of my Thryoid glands, the surgery happened about September, the surgery went well and recovery as well as support was fantastic.
The delays were frustrating but not much could be done, it wasn't all bad, it allowed me to finish off my College sememster, so got my HNC.
Couldn't get work due to my cancer and the uncertantly, looking for a job sucks, even more so when most places were like 'we wouldn't take on a new start due to your cancer, we can't give you the time off you'd need' so yeah, I kept trying but was pretty hard and hit my mood big time.
Check up after September unfortunately confirmed from a report from the Histoloy department that I still had cancer cells, a mutated variant called talls cells, known to occur with Thryoid Cancer cells, so a round of radiotherapy was needed, it was rough, it screwed up my mood big time, days just felt shit, no matter what I did my mood tanked constantly, the first week and a half after it was worst I've ever experienced through the whole cancer ordeal.
Now I'm awaiting to get the all clear come mid February, the care I received wasn't the best this time round, severe lack of communication and I was left in the dark, CT scan was performed hours before I was discharged and was left without a consultant seeing me, only like a smack on the ass and sent on my way, feeling very unsure and strange.
Its been an interesting year, challenges for sure but still overall a good year. Here's to a better 2024. Thank god for Macmillan cancer care, they're worth their weight in gold, so much good support.
Had Christmas on my own this year but it was actually really good, made my own Christmas Dinner with all the trimmings, was real nice.
Didn't visit family as I wasn't emotionally ready for it since having radiotherapy early December.
This year has been quite chaotic, getting diagonised with Thryoid cancer early January wasn't great, even more so the constant delays of my surgery, had to have a full Thyroidectomy, removal of both of my Thryoid glands, the surgery happened about September, the surgery went well and recovery as well as support was fantastic.
The delays were frustrating but not much could be done, it wasn't all bad, it allowed me to finish off my College sememster, so got my HNC.
Couldn't get work due to my cancer and the uncertantly, looking for a job sucks, even more so when most places were like 'we wouldn't take on a new start due to your cancer, we can't give you the time off you'd need' so yeah, I kept trying but was pretty hard and hit my mood big time.
Check up after September unfortunately confirmed from a report from the Histoloy department that I still had cancer cells, a mutated variant called talls cells, known to occur with Thryoid Cancer cells, so a round of radiotherapy was needed, it was rough, it screwed up my mood big time, days just felt shit, no matter what I did my mood tanked constantly, the first week and a half after it was worst I've ever experienced through the whole cancer ordeal.
Now I'm awaiting to get the all clear come mid February, the care I received wasn't the best this time round, severe lack of communication and I was left in the dark, CT scan was performed hours before I was discharged and was left without a consultant seeing me, only like a smack on the ass and sent on my way, feeling very unsure and strange.
Its been an interesting year, challenges for sure but still overall a good year. Here's to a better 2024. Thank god for Macmillan cancer care, they're worth their weight in gold, so much good support.
TOS quick update
Posted a year agoJust few additions to my TOS and what I will and won't draw
Commissions Open
Posted 2 years agoCommissions are now open, please take time to read over the TOS and the pricing
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47738910/
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss.....s/ingeirpalar/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47738910/
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss.....s/ingeirpalar/
Commission status update
Posted 2 years agoCommissions are currently closed, I am in the process of major assessments in college, combined with a lack of sleep as well isn't helping.
I will be reviewing my TOS and doing some changes as well as making a commission image for easier access. But being honest I feel I need to readjust what I accept as commissions and may end up ending doing commissions altogether, I've sort of lost a lot drive which would have usually kept me going with it all
I will be reviewing my TOS and doing some changes as well as making a commission image for easier access. But being honest I feel I need to readjust what I accept as commissions and may end up ending doing commissions altogether, I've sort of lost a lot drive which would have usually kept me going with it all
Rshooks Gulpr based server
Posted 4 years agoThey're thinking of making a discord server for Gulpr based RPs as well as it being a spot to share art and discuss.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9418299/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9418299/
Thoughts and what not
Posted 5 years agoEhhhh probably rambling about nothing.
But I just feel out of sorts on FA alot of the time, especially with uploading art nowadays, don't really see the point. Sure I must be doing something wrong, always seem to miss the mark, half the time I feel like disappearing and removing everything.
Having a fetish prevents that though so oopsie doopsie pretty much stuck xD
But I just feel out of sorts on FA alot of the time, especially with uploading art nowadays, don't really see the point. Sure I must be doing something wrong, always seem to miss the mark, half the time I feel like disappearing and removing everything.
Having a fetish prevents that though so oopsie doopsie pretty much stuck xD
Shines are go
Posted 5 years agoGot those Shinies up and running for anybody who wants to tip
Update and what not (venting so whatever)
Posted 6 years agoWell new job and such this year, better pay and hopefully more financial freedom. Guess it makes me happier? Well not 100% true, makes things easier yeah but find myself struggling to keep myself in check, retail is draining really...yet its all I know so thats a thing
Art wise, well I still enjoy it, really is a good thing when I'm not sleep deprieved, can never seem to catch enough sleep no matter what I do,
Heads a mess most the time, lock onto stupid thoughts, feel like I have still have a bad rep, people I'd like to re-connect with yet feel it be wasted, that I'd just be a 'oh fuck its him' like am I really that intrusive to others? Maybe looking too much into it.
I've made plenty of mistakes and I don't feel its going to get better, I have no concentration unless it absorbs me, freetime from work is just wasted effort, and yet its all self inflicted. I don't better myself, I don't change or adapt, I just stick, sometimes wish I could have the decency to end it all, instead of being a drain on everything and everyone. That, that statement alone is incredibly wrong but in my head its logical, I can't change, I've tried and feel stuck, people give me advice and it feels I'm lying when I respond, so how do I stop all this? Well I identified the source...its me, that thought and realization still shakes me to this day, I'm the problem, no external source, its all internal.
Like how fucked up do you have to be when the only solution is ending your own life to stop it all? Counselling does bugger all but patch the wound, sometimes wish I could get electro shock therapy, who gives a crap about if I can't recall things, I've turned any good memory into a painful reminder of what I had. That and the past 6 years feel like a blur, feel like I've been on auto-pilot taking hit after hit and now I've cracked, feel pretty shit about things, though I'm great at faking that I'm fine or more content than anything.
Art wise, well I still enjoy it, really is a good thing when I'm not sleep deprieved, can never seem to catch enough sleep no matter what I do,
Heads a mess most the time, lock onto stupid thoughts, feel like I have still have a bad rep, people I'd like to re-connect with yet feel it be wasted, that I'd just be a 'oh fuck its him' like am I really that intrusive to others? Maybe looking too much into it.
I've made plenty of mistakes and I don't feel its going to get better, I have no concentration unless it absorbs me, freetime from work is just wasted effort, and yet its all self inflicted. I don't better myself, I don't change or adapt, I just stick, sometimes wish I could have the decency to end it all, instead of being a drain on everything and everyone. That, that statement alone is incredibly wrong but in my head its logical, I can't change, I've tried and feel stuck, people give me advice and it feels I'm lying when I respond, so how do I stop all this? Well I identified the source...its me, that thought and realization still shakes me to this day, I'm the problem, no external source, its all internal.
Like how fucked up do you have to be when the only solution is ending your own life to stop it all? Counselling does bugger all but patch the wound, sometimes wish I could get electro shock therapy, who gives a crap about if I can't recall things, I've turned any good memory into a painful reminder of what I had. That and the past 6 years feel like a blur, feel like I've been on auto-pilot taking hit after hit and now I've cracked, feel pretty shit about things, though I'm great at faking that I'm fine or more content than anything.
Friend holding a YCH!
Posted 6 years agoOver here! https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27956756/
She's a really good artist and this beauty of gal just deserves being adopted, looks wonderful! I'd take it myself but I wouldn't do her justice I feel!
She's a really good artist and this beauty of gal just deserves being adopted, looks wonderful! I'd take it myself but I wouldn't do her justice I feel!
Back from England
Posted 6 years agoCame back early as it just got really difficult, was nothing that my family could do really.
Well besides my mother but well shes toxic as they come so eh xD
Rest all did their best and did help me out but only for my mother to go fuck it up with her selfish 'oh I'm always the victim' irregardless of what I went through, gave her the olive branch one last time, won't be making that mistake again.
Overall I still did enjoy it, and might not have been the best option but you got to try these things.
Well besides my mother but well shes toxic as they come so eh xD
Rest all did their best and did help me out but only for my mother to go fuck it up with her selfish 'oh I'm always the victim' irregardless of what I went through, gave her the olive branch one last time, won't be making that mistake again.
Overall I still did enjoy it, and might not have been the best option but you got to try these things.
Away to England
Posted 6 years agoOff for a week down to England to see my folks, I'll be away for my birthday too!
Got an early flight tomorrow down to England, urf can already feel tired about it haha! I'll sleep well that day. I'll be away from the 2nd to the 9th so online activity may be sparse, most definitely with discord and such.
And I'll be down there for my 26th Birthday so that should be fun too!
Hope everyone had a good Easter weekend
Got an early flight tomorrow down to England, urf can already feel tired about it haha! I'll sleep well that day. I'll be away from the 2nd to the 9th so online activity may be sparse, most definitely with discord and such.
And I'll be down there for my 26th Birthday so that should be fun too!
Hope everyone had a good Easter weekend
Made a Ko-fi
Posted 6 years agoWell was a few months ago to support a fellow artist.
But yeah, if you ever felt that you just wanted to support and had no ideas for art well here you go!
But yeah, if you ever felt that you just wanted to support and had no ideas for art well here you go!
Single and Updates
Posted 6 years agoWell yes, after 8 months of watching a slow train wreck its finally 'official' Zerat moved on. It really shouldn't have come as a surprise.
Knew it was bound to happen yet there was nothing I could do, I could only watch and wait as he and zero became closer.
I've grieved enough over it, lashed out in anger enough, I'm just tired..tired of the whole buisness, so what does this mean for me?
Well me and zerat still need to discuss about the tenancy we're in, we'll either be staying here til June or it'll end next month. I could have kicked him out but I'm far too nice really, and guess I'm still trying to cling onto what little time I have left with him, hard to just end it all after being with somebody for 6 years.
I can only wish Zerat and Zero the best, but in all honesty its been a dick move, I've looked back and thought 'why didn't I do more?' But I guess us living in our own flat did it in, Zerat did his thing and I did mine, but any attempts I made for us to try new things were mostly shot down.
So its back to counselling for me, saves me wanting to just end it all, work and a few other places, including chatting with friends are the only things that are getting me by right now. Most days I feel drained and exhausted, I just want rest.
Knew it was bound to happen yet there was nothing I could do, I could only watch and wait as he and zero became closer.
I've grieved enough over it, lashed out in anger enough, I'm just tired..tired of the whole buisness, so what does this mean for me?
Well me and zerat still need to discuss about the tenancy we're in, we'll either be staying here til June or it'll end next month. I could have kicked him out but I'm far too nice really, and guess I'm still trying to cling onto what little time I have left with him, hard to just end it all after being with somebody for 6 years.
I can only wish Zerat and Zero the best, but in all honesty its been a dick move, I've looked back and thought 'why didn't I do more?' But I guess us living in our own flat did it in, Zerat did his thing and I did mine, but any attempts I made for us to try new things were mostly shot down.
So its back to counselling for me, saves me wanting to just end it all, work and a few other places, including chatting with friends are the only things that are getting me by right now. Most days I feel drained and exhausted, I just want rest.
Back from sudden hiatus
Posted 7 years agoWell back after a sudden bad case of events and moods.
25 Years old today!
Posted 7 years agoSo yeah, another year older and quite a big one really.
Quarter of a century old (Young, young! Oh how I wish xD) got mainly cash and a new suitcase, so thats good! And its copper, shiny suitcase!
At least I can recognize my case with such a design!
Quarter of a century old (Young, young! Oh how I wish xD) got mainly cash and a new suitcase, so thats good! And its copper, shiny suitcase!
At least I can recognize my case with such a design!
Catch up on things
Posted 7 years agoWell its been a while since I've given a big run down of whats been going on (besides that one dark journal which no longer exists)
Well back in September I experienced CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) which was a great helped, it helped for a great time, possibly better than I could have ever expected, I changed my way of thinking, which I thought I could have never done, my time was spent being happy and complacent with where I was.
I had managed to develop a few great friendships and get myself involved in a few amazing groups via discord, I felt included, content and happy into feeling I was part of a small group of friends, everything was going great.
Our flat was doing great and we both managed to put a bit of money aside, even if it was pittance, to me it was a bonus. Christmas and New year came and went, what happens usually when you're in retail especially with sales, but that paid off with some great paychecks
Then half way through January I felt my world was turned upside down, my actions had set myself up, I'd dropped into a nasty pit of speaking out, expressing my views about certain individuals (who will remain anonymous) as well as trying to discuss different ideals, clashes happened, things were said, friendships were broken, all from me feeling comfortable with expressing something and from this I felt like I had gained a infamous reputation. Before I knew it all I'd done was unraveled before me and the thoughts are back even worse now.
And now I'm here, part of nothing and left even less than what I started on, my art has plummeted to virtually nothing, I barely draw now, just can't find the motivation, and anything I do I don't finish because I see no point, I no longer upload here as I feel scared and uncomfortable with doing so.
Well back in September I experienced CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) which was a great helped, it helped for a great time, possibly better than I could have ever expected, I changed my way of thinking, which I thought I could have never done, my time was spent being happy and complacent with where I was.
I had managed to develop a few great friendships and get myself involved in a few amazing groups via discord, I felt included, content and happy into feeling I was part of a small group of friends, everything was going great.
Our flat was doing great and we both managed to put a bit of money aside, even if it was pittance, to me it was a bonus. Christmas and New year came and went, what happens usually when you're in retail especially with sales, but that paid off with some great paychecks
Then half way through January I felt my world was turned upside down, my actions had set myself up, I'd dropped into a nasty pit of speaking out, expressing my views about certain individuals (who will remain anonymous) as well as trying to discuss different ideals, clashes happened, things were said, friendships were broken, all from me feeling comfortable with expressing something and from this I felt like I had gained a infamous reputation. Before I knew it all I'd done was unraveled before me and the thoughts are back even worse now.
And now I'm here, part of nothing and left even less than what I started on, my art has plummeted to virtually nothing, I barely draw now, just can't find the motivation, and anything I do I don't finish because I see no point, I no longer upload here as I feel scared and uncomfortable with doing so.
YCH Ideas?
Posted 8 years agoWell since the last one went fairly well, got a question for my watchers. What would you like to see as a YCH?
Please do tell, there are no wrong ideas here ^.=.^
Please do tell, there are no wrong ideas here ^.=.^
We've moved!
Posted 8 years agoWell this week me and zerat have spent our time moving to our own flat, it's been hectic and strenuous, new things to deal with and emotions.
But overall happy, net will be installed next Wednesday so should be back online with IM s and stuff after then.
But overall happy, net will be installed next Wednesday so should be back online with IM s and stuff after then.
Update art wise
Posted 8 years agoWell I'm burnt out again....
I really shouldn't do comics anymore! They just burn me out, I've been struggling for a bit now with inspiration and feeling a lack of inspiration and drive, a few of my friends should know, since they gave me some great advice.
I took on another comic commission after a friend bought some steam games for me, it was for a long comic, and its burnt me out. I had my doubts about it but was inspired when I started it up..yet it slowly turned into irritation, sucking any drive and motivation I had left....
I can't even look at things now without thinking I'm just doing things lazily. So from now on no more comic commissions/trades, they're too time consuming....
I really shouldn't do comics anymore! They just burn me out, I've been struggling for a bit now with inspiration and feeling a lack of inspiration and drive, a few of my friends should know, since they gave me some great advice.
I took on another comic commission after a friend bought some steam games for me, it was for a long comic, and its burnt me out. I had my doubts about it but was inspired when I started it up..yet it slowly turned into irritation, sucking any drive and motivation I had left....
I can't even look at things now without thinking I'm just doing things lazily. So from now on no more comic commissions/trades, they're too time consuming....
Furry Network
Posted 9 years agoWell recently acquired my beta key for furry network. Site does seem quite nice and sometimes may be a bit tricky but hey its in beta, so its mainly just getting used to an interface that isn't FA
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/Ingeir_Palar
Theres my account if anybody whos watching me is on there
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/Ingeir_Palar
Theres my account if anybody whos watching me is on there
Back up plan
Posted 9 years agoWell I've finally made a weasyl after all the stuff that has been happening on FA, I'm not leaving FA but I want to eventually try draw away from FA so it isn't my main source of attention (if it can be helped) thought I'd never do this but I'd rather space out my art to different sites, why limit myself if I can help it?
https://www.weasyl.com/~ingeirpalar
https://www.weasyl.com/~ingeirpalar
Livestreaming?
Posted 9 years agoI may possibly be getting back into livestreaming, got a new laptop which has the capability of livestreaming!
Just got to do a bit of messing about with laptop til I get things back in order
Rules:
No drama - No causing issues with other viewers or me, banter is fine but any serious drama will result in warning, if it persists, you will be banned until next stream, if further issues continue this'll lead to permanent ban.
No Request - Only if I ask
Reference Links - Please ask me before linking any such reference, random links are fine though.
Just got to do a bit of messing about with laptop til I get things back in order
Rules:
No drama - No causing issues with other viewers or me, banter is fine but any serious drama will result in warning, if it persists, you will be banned until next stream, if further issues continue this'll lead to permanent ban.
No Request - Only if I ask
Reference Links - Please ask me before linking any such reference, random links are fine though.
Birthday/Hatchday
Posted 9 years agoWell that time of the year came around again for me xP
Another year older now, don't feel any different really but all the money from family helps
Me and zerat are planning to go out for a meal later today to celebrate, its been ages since we last went out, think it was like November or even as late as August where it was just the two of us.
Not that old yet, only 23 haha, still in my twenties and stuff! Yet I can still say 'oh back in my day' urgggh sound soooo old!
Another year older now, don't feel any different really but all the money from family helps
Me and zerat are planning to go out for a meal later today to celebrate, its been ages since we last went out, think it was like November or even as late as August where it was just the two of us.
Not that old yet, only 23 haha, still in my twenties and stuff! Yet I can still say 'oh back in my day' urgggh sound soooo old!
Great Artist
Posted 10 years agoPlease go check out 
I just got a sketch from her from one of Pay What You Want (PWYW) Streams, it was really cheap for the speed and what she offered!
Here's what I got
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14761490/
She's quite the friendly gal and works with you in a friendly manner!
Definitely glad I dropped into one of her streams! Go give her page a nosy and see what you come up with!
I just got a sketch from her from one of Pay What You Want (PWYW) Streams, it was really cheap for the speed and what she offered!
Here's what I got
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14761490/
She's quite the friendly gal and works with you in a friendly manner!
Definitely glad I dropped into one of her streams! Go give her page a nosy and see what you come up with!
Absence
Posted 10 years agoIts been a while since I did an update
Well recently I got a job at Lidl, pretty decent pay and hours are great! Overall the company really values their staff and their image without sacraficing customer satisfaction or staff satisfaction, most of this week I've been having training for my job as a Sales Assistant. Been good so far with them
Buut I've been feeling that I'm becoming more reserved and absent on FA, like I hardly ever comment on journals, most of the time a nasty routine occurs, usually occuring of 'I should comment, I'd like to say this, but it could be taken negatively, whats the point? I'd rather say nothing' and after that process the journal or art I wanted to comment on is a few days old which adds the feeling of too late now...
I've been suffering from a nasty headcold too, so most nights at the moment I'm going bed early with a fuzzy head and stuffy nose...
Hopefully my concentration will perk up after I get over this shit
And can get back into commenting on stuff and stop being less aloof
Hope your all doing well
Well recently I got a job at Lidl, pretty decent pay and hours are great! Overall the company really values their staff and their image without sacraficing customer satisfaction or staff satisfaction, most of this week I've been having training for my job as a Sales Assistant. Been good so far with them
Buut I've been feeling that I'm becoming more reserved and absent on FA, like I hardly ever comment on journals, most of the time a nasty routine occurs, usually occuring of 'I should comment, I'd like to say this, but it could be taken negatively, whats the point? I'd rather say nothing' and after that process the journal or art I wanted to comment on is a few days old which adds the feeling of too late now...
I've been suffering from a nasty headcold too, so most nights at the moment I'm going bed early with a fuzzy head and stuffy nose...
Hopefully my concentration will perk up after I get over this shit
And can get back into commenting on stuff and stop being less aloof
Hope your all doing well
Get FA 
Merch Store