IMPORTANT
Posted 11 years agoPlease add my new account; Kozek2130, because my old got inacdated with spam-bots from some phony dating site, which I NEVER clicked on any link, or accepted anything. This breed of spam bot apparently use the Skype Directory to locate people and link them to a dating site! You could be talking to some of the most fucked up creeps on the web! Like Dhaij Amudhmon, or whatever his name was.
Nightmares
Posted 11 years agoI thought about him again, yesterday... How long has it been...? A month...? Seems like an eternity has passed since me and my ex stopped our "reconciliation", and now he has his other mate - who he's probably already creamed by now. -.-
In a sense, I miss him, but what I don't miss were all the lies and secrecy, and constantly being on the edge of my seat in fear, as if waiting for the conclusion of an episode of a horror-related TV show...
Still, though, I hope I'll find someone; not necessarily a boyfriend, but just..., a best friend, who happens to be gay...
I just wish these nightmares would go away... I also wish I'd stop seeing people who like him on errr certain "adult-natured" video sites... x.x
In a sense, I miss him, but what I don't miss were all the lies and secrecy, and constantly being on the edge of my seat in fear, as if waiting for the conclusion of an episode of a horror-related TV show...
Still, though, I hope I'll find someone; not necessarily a boyfriend, but just..., a best friend, who happens to be gay...
I just wish these nightmares would go away... I also wish I'd stop seeing people who like him on errr certain "adult-natured" video sites... x.x
At The End Of My Rope
Posted 11 years agoI honestly haven't got time for people bitching, ok? "Oh, it's traced. Blah, blah, blah". It's not even 100% proportionate! AND IT WASN'T' ME WHO DREW IT EITHER! Drama, drama, complain, complain.
http://i.imgur.com/30aESPs.jpg
Well, this proves it people. The people who are listed here...
-Alexx-
steelyphil
Eilavue
IronChicken
TacoBellFurs
must be feeling really stupid, right now.
http://i.imgur.com/30aESPs.jpg
Well, this proves it people. The people who are listed here...
-Alexx-
steelyphil
Eilavue
IronChicken
TacoBellFurs
must be feeling really stupid, right now.
Same old, same old...
Posted 11 years agoNothing much to say, except everything's going to shit. You're probably starting to get annoyed with me at this point, and I wouldn't be surprised. At this point in time - nothing surprises me, anymore. What would surprise me is if SOMETHING would go right for once!
At Long Last...
Posted 11 years agoI check my Facebook today, and I was joyous to see my ex boyfriend's finally got a new mate, and not because I care for him (because that ship sailed last month,) but because I feel like the emotional collar that he had wrapped around my neck has finally broken!
I don't know why I still loved him, or why I even gave him a second chance, after he dated that other guy for 14 days - coming back to me on Valentine's Day with a message saying, "So yeah..., it's over... I miss you..." I don't know why I accepted him back, but maybe it was a big mistake, thinking that this was the beginning of the new era - instead it was a DLC extension to the previous one, which should've ended long ago...
However, I decided to give him another chance, and on Valentine's Day of all days... From there, I began what I called, "the transformation in to the new me," because the reason we split up in the first place was our constant arguments, which arose from when he told me that he'd had bareback sex with a guy on December 21st, and never even told me, but eventually, I just became desensitized to him doing this, and was ok with it. Why? Don't ask me...
Anyway, so I tried to no longer be "paranoid," as he called it, and stop jumping to conclusions, and I suceeded for a VERY long time, but even though he claimed he wanted me back, he showed very little to no affection, concern or care. He mostly ignored me, or treat me like a casual aquaintance, and would joke about sexual things with me, knowing it hurt me, because I wanted him. It was like he was toying with me, and after about a month and a half of trying and failing, I gave up and cut contact with him for a few days...
I came back, and the first thing he tells me is that he has a bondage master now, who is his second master, and that he'll be "getting filled on a regular basis," and that the only other thing he needs is "me." I didn't know how to react to this, but I took it with a pinch of salt, that is until the Easter weekend...
On the Friday morning, we'd got things sorted out mostly and I felt like things were going to get better, but then he mysteriously disappeared... He comes back many hours later, telling me how happy he is, and I ask why, and he tells me he had bareback sex with his masters dog (and I mean a dog, not a fursuit - a dog.) Now, think what you want to think; I didn't hate him 'cos he got screwed by a dog (yes, I am VERY open-minded and don't hate people for A LOT of things) but more so the fact he told me this AFTER he'd done it, and mind you this is during what he dubbed the "reconcilliation" period. Pfft... Also, he told me he got the master AFTER he signed the fucking contract!
Anyway, after his weekend of "pleasure" was over, he asked to call me and me and his friend Wes played League of Legends together, and it was pleasant, and I'd completely forgotten about him and his masters weekend, and I honestly didn't want to ask what else they'd done. :/ So, we had a lovely game of League, and then he went to do something, and I talked to Wes for awhile. I'd met Wes before and he had a sort of sexual connection to my ex I noticed, so I was a little nervous, but that day - before I could really talk with him - I passed out.
Next day wasn't anything special, just more of my ex "disappearing" and not telling me where he was - obviously getting screwed by his dragon master. Talked a bit more to Wes and started to get to know him, and at the time my mood was a bit awkward and he picked up on it and asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "Oh you know, just one of those things," and he said, "It's never one of things... It's guy problems, isn't it?" And I was like, "How'd you figure it out?" And he told me that it's not hard to figure out, and that he knows I liked "my ex."
Anyway, I got talking with him and told him EVERYTHING - all my pain, misery and sorrow, and what I had to deal with with my "ex," and he was considerate and kind, and then told me something that my "ex" never told me, and that "my ex" was one of his pets, and he was "my ex's" master, and then I said, "first master, right?," and he wondered what I was going on about, as he had NO IDEA about the second master, so I told him and he got a bit upset that "my ex" had kept that from him, and then understood what I was going through and we had a long ass talk and he cheered me up an awful lot and told me things I needed to know. He also told me that the best thing to do at this point would be to completely cut contact with my ex, and so I did.
Seven days passed, and then my ex comes out the woodwork, asking where I am, and I continued ignoring him, and today I saw he has someone else, and I'm glad, because I no longer have to think about him. It's over. I don't even have to confront him; he's someone elses problem, and I feel free!
I apologise for my actions, lately, to anyone who noticed me acting strange, but this whole thing has been on my mind, and now that he's officially out of my life 100%; I can breath easilly - for real this time!
Also, it's nice to be able to finally focus 100% on the things I want, instead of being emotionally held back, because of him - the way he's made me feel, and the fact I sort of hated myself and blamed myself at times, but no more. I'm at peace.
I don't know why I still loved him, or why I even gave him a second chance, after he dated that other guy for 14 days - coming back to me on Valentine's Day with a message saying, "So yeah..., it's over... I miss you..." I don't know why I accepted him back, but maybe it was a big mistake, thinking that this was the beginning of the new era - instead it was a DLC extension to the previous one, which should've ended long ago...
However, I decided to give him another chance, and on Valentine's Day of all days... From there, I began what I called, "the transformation in to the new me," because the reason we split up in the first place was our constant arguments, which arose from when he told me that he'd had bareback sex with a guy on December 21st, and never even told me, but eventually, I just became desensitized to him doing this, and was ok with it. Why? Don't ask me...
Anyway, so I tried to no longer be "paranoid," as he called it, and stop jumping to conclusions, and I suceeded for a VERY long time, but even though he claimed he wanted me back, he showed very little to no affection, concern or care. He mostly ignored me, or treat me like a casual aquaintance, and would joke about sexual things with me, knowing it hurt me, because I wanted him. It was like he was toying with me, and after about a month and a half of trying and failing, I gave up and cut contact with him for a few days...
I came back, and the first thing he tells me is that he has a bondage master now, who is his second master, and that he'll be "getting filled on a regular basis," and that the only other thing he needs is "me." I didn't know how to react to this, but I took it with a pinch of salt, that is until the Easter weekend...
On the Friday morning, we'd got things sorted out mostly and I felt like things were going to get better, but then he mysteriously disappeared... He comes back many hours later, telling me how happy he is, and I ask why, and he tells me he had bareback sex with his masters dog (and I mean a dog, not a fursuit - a dog.) Now, think what you want to think; I didn't hate him 'cos he got screwed by a dog (yes, I am VERY open-minded and don't hate people for A LOT of things) but more so the fact he told me this AFTER he'd done it, and mind you this is during what he dubbed the "reconcilliation" period. Pfft... Also, he told me he got the master AFTER he signed the fucking contract!
Anyway, after his weekend of "pleasure" was over, he asked to call me and me and his friend Wes played League of Legends together, and it was pleasant, and I'd completely forgotten about him and his masters weekend, and I honestly didn't want to ask what else they'd done. :/ So, we had a lovely game of League, and then he went to do something, and I talked to Wes for awhile. I'd met Wes before and he had a sort of sexual connection to my ex I noticed, so I was a little nervous, but that day - before I could really talk with him - I passed out.
Next day wasn't anything special, just more of my ex "disappearing" and not telling me where he was - obviously getting screwed by his dragon master. Talked a bit more to Wes and started to get to know him, and at the time my mood was a bit awkward and he picked up on it and asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "Oh you know, just one of those things," and he said, "It's never one of things... It's guy problems, isn't it?" And I was like, "How'd you figure it out?" And he told me that it's not hard to figure out, and that he knows I liked "my ex."
Anyway, I got talking with him and told him EVERYTHING - all my pain, misery and sorrow, and what I had to deal with with my "ex," and he was considerate and kind, and then told me something that my "ex" never told me, and that "my ex" was one of his pets, and he was "my ex's" master, and then I said, "first master, right?," and he wondered what I was going on about, as he had NO IDEA about the second master, so I told him and he got a bit upset that "my ex" had kept that from him, and then understood what I was going through and we had a long ass talk and he cheered me up an awful lot and told me things I needed to know. He also told me that the best thing to do at this point would be to completely cut contact with my ex, and so I did.
Seven days passed, and then my ex comes out the woodwork, asking where I am, and I continued ignoring him, and today I saw he has someone else, and I'm glad, because I no longer have to think about him. It's over. I don't even have to confront him; he's someone elses problem, and I feel free!
I apologise for my actions, lately, to anyone who noticed me acting strange, but this whole thing has been on my mind, and now that he's officially out of my life 100%; I can breath easilly - for real this time!
Also, it's nice to be able to finally focus 100% on the things I want, instead of being emotionally held back, because of him - the way he's made me feel, and the fact I sort of hated myself and blamed myself at times, but no more. I'm at peace.
Searching...
Posted 11 years agoI'm looking for friends who're preferably single (or in a very open relationship.) I'm having a rough time, and I'm not looking for any relationships, just good friends who I can openly communicate with and talk about pretty much anything in general, without offending anyone from the get go.
If anyone is interested; I'm also looking for close "beneficial" friendships as-well. ;)
I have a Skype if anyone is interested: KamenRiderGattack2012 (For the KR fans; I know I spelt Gatack wrong. xD)
PS: I have NO LIMITS of how many friends, close friends etc I make. The more the merrier.
If anyone is interested; I'm also looking for close "beneficial" friendships as-well. ;)
I have a Skype if anyone is interested: KamenRiderGattack2012 (For the KR fans; I know I spelt Gatack wrong. xD)
PS: I have NO LIMITS of how many friends, close friends etc I make. The more the merrier.
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