~Charrio

I'm still here, haven't left the site or anything.

I miss being Manic, Depression breaks me too easily.

Hope you are all doing well, I'm fine just numb.

Been tossing and turning through the night and said screw it to sleep.

The idea of what to do is haunting my thoughts. Like I said in my last journal, I'm feeling a bit lost in the crowd lately.
I don't know what to do, looking at art just makes things worse. I wanted inspiration but all it did was convince me I'm
not needed.

I'm not a professional so my art is not my meal ticket, I could say it's more personal than that but It's probably not.
I get this way about anything that is very popular, I don't like giant groups as I am not a people person and all those people freak me out.
Fandoms can be the same at times. Furry used to be an outsider group mocked by most, now however it's everywhere. Hell even Adult sites are carrying
Furry as a Category.

I'm confused, kinda lost and stuck like a Sail ship with no wind.

I'll get past this somehow, right now tho I'm lost.

OK I did it, I tried Oblivion finally.

Well it's no Skyrim but definitely keeps one playing and feeling immersed. I can definitely see why people love it, It took me several tries to come around on this game. Learning more about the lore helped some but mostly finding a old XBOX360 copy to play on my XBONE is what did it.

I've had Oblivion on my steam account for a while but the no Controller support put me off as where I am I am using a small laptop keyboard and makes gaming painful at times.

I'm still under tenth level in Oblivion but could easily play it for quite some time just exploring the mechanics before I actually play the game so to speak.
I have the bad habit of making dozens of characters as I feel out the game and what works and what I like, which makes for slow story progress but lets me feel out what works for me.

As to artwork, all I have done is a small page of doodles sorry to say. I'm just not feeling it, kind of have this bad feeling of I"m lost in a crowd of so many doing the same thing. I avoid people so the idea of following the crowd irks me badly, I drew furries in the first place to avoid people and their Human centered comics and toons. Now that it's pretty much main stream and normal its like the sea of people rose up around me making me want to seek high ground to be alone again.

Was going through my old Classic toons and went through the old
Dot and the Kangaroo series of movies.

Am I the only one who thinks Dot looks a lot like Lois from Family Guy as a Child?

I used to love this series as a kid, nice to see it can still make me smile.

Here are the films if you haven't seen them, they are pretty dated but I like them.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=P.....T5Evc02kb32Zd8

What do you guys think, do you even remember this series?

I had a good Holiday, it was calm and family stayed home this year so no fighting.
Then it Snowed Christmas Day and has been since, its not thick or anything maybe 8 inches or so, but here it never snows in a significant amount but once maybe every decade. It's also very rare for a snow to come before January so it was even more special.

I spent my time warm and cozy playing Skyrim with Mods, found a few game changing ones that make magic significantly more powerful.

Gonna try drawing again here soon, can't sit too long goofing off getting rusty again.

Am I odd for being 0ver 45 and wanting to go out making a snowman?

Hope you are all doing well, over here its a bit crazy.
There is a lot going on to get ready for the big day coming up.

I'm doing well, been kind of drifting, watching holiday specials and helping out.
Haven't been drawing much lately, feeling kind of stuck in a rut.
I don't want to follow the herd or copy what others are doing so it's very hard to find inspiration.

Humor might work but rarely do people get my jokes or such.
PinUp is what I am best at but everyone and their dog seems to draw it now a days.

Anyways just wanted to let you all know, I missed ya and hope you are having a great holiday season.

So I got the bright Idea to see where we came from 10yrs ago and Set up my Playstation3 and dug out my copy of Skyrim Legendary edition.
Its so bad, lol well not terrible but bad compared to the newer HD versions.

The load times are horrible, sometimes I don't even loot so I don't have to load into a city, then into a store, then out of the store and into another store then out, then out of the city...
My Gaming rig PC has like no load times for the current edition with mods so the difference is quite large.

Its still quite playable tho the no Quicksave is annoying, more loading time for it to bring up saves.
The game has only crashed twice which is great for Skyrim and for the PS3 version, so that's great.

I'm staying away from the potion restoration loop glitch, that just kills any challenge and makes it like God Mode.

Feeling better running the snowy plains and robbing shopkeepers.

If you have an older edition of Skyrim and want to see the vast difference between Then and Now dig it up and Become the Dragonborn.

I get this feeling all the time, and in several different areas.

I've never felt like I belong, not in life or among the fandom.
I rarely get excited or look forward to things like others do and seeing people do so makes me feel that much more on the outside.
The furry fandom is like that, there will be a show or movie that comes out and every artist on the block will be drawing fanart of it and I don't have any inclination,

I get this feeling like I don't get it why is this new thing so important?
How can people get so hyped over something good at best but probably mediocre.

As an artist I'm just a Amateur who dabbles in commissions when I am granted one, I still feel like I don't belong here as well.
I"m not a self promoter, I don't believe in telling everyone how cool I am or repeating myself over and over. I take rejection very strongly, so I don't try it destroys me too much.

Gaming is the same, I don't feel a need to follow a company that doesn't care about it's customers or actively bleeds them for microtransactions.
So I stay in my older games that are from a different time.

Eating is a chore, i hate the foods I get to have being a borderline diabetic, food loses all luster when you have read every label or count every sugar gram.

I don't belong here, is what I feel over and over in waves that come and go but come back a little higher every time.

Taking some time off, not feeling very chipper today.

Holiday blues i guess.

As many of you know, I've started a new sketchbook which I have been posting.

Today, I have been having issues with my sketchbook. The paper is very thick and rough, which is great for pencils but not for inks.
The paper sucks up the ink like Blotter paper and muddies up the lines, which is exactly what happened today.

Maybe I'll post it to show my mistakes and errors, not liking the pose now as well. Artists are our own worst critics but still, I feel not shame but failure I guess.
Oh well I'll try again and leave out Inking.

Also I think I've been using too many Photo Refs for pose layouts, I need to free think it more.

Just something to hopefully make you smile and go WTF am I seeing.
It has Multipurpose Utility Back Holes, what more do you want?

Check out the Lock Down Buddy!


How to care for your Lock Down Buddy

When people want to work toward a utopia or convince you that there can be a utopia, who's utopia are they talking about?

Everyone's idea of a perfect society or world is different, the perfect world I dream of is nothing like most everyone else's so does that make my utopia invalid?
The idea of a Utopia is nice but can never happen unless there is only one dreamer who casts aside whatever others who don't want that or disagree. How is that a utopia other than for the one or few who wanted such.

I've pondered this idea for a long time, there can never be a perfect world, it's not possible, life is hard and unfair. We as modern humans have this broken notion that we can make others love our dream when we discard theirs.

When I see others pushing causes to create a perfect future or wish for a utopia I always think, who's yours?

Life is way more complicated than that tho, I don't think we have a clue.

Sorry for the Deep Thought today

Do any of you ever feel a sense of Emptiness once you finish a long game?

I just beat Skyrim again for the Achievements so did most everything and it was a long long haul. Now tho I feel empty and don't know what else to play, like a really good book that ends I miss it.

Oh course I'm fighting my impulse to just start over with all mods on and go back, but I've done that countless times.

I'll have to find a new game to go through that can keep my interests.
Is Mass Effect Andromeda worth playing through?

If you were Wealthy, would you spend the money to have your own Furry show created?
I always wondered why people who have huge amounts of wealth don't fund their own shows and release them.

It may not be profitable but why would that matter to someone who is that well off.
I Think it would be a wonderful project to do if I was able. Ratings wouldn't matter, it's a pet project and not made by some giant company that has a checklist to fill.

It would be weird working with Scriptwriters filling out your stories, but I think it would be really amazing as well.

What would you do if you were say sitting pretty would you?

I would do it, even if knew there would be no financial return. I'd be making a mark in the world that is worth it to me.

Got me a new Sketchbook and will be focusing on Pinup in this one.

Its only 30 pages long so shouldn't be so bad to fill up.

My questing through Skyrim is getting close to an end, finally running low on quests that don't repeat or never end.

I feel a little better than before but still feel sad I am useless as a marketable artist, but oh well nothing new.
Life is hard we have to get past our lumps and live on.

Should be posting my first page soon.

Woke up to this song in my lineup and seemed quite appropriate considering I am walking Skyrim again.

Why Can't Bards be this good In Skyrim or at least the ending song if you beat it.

The Dragonborn Comes, by Gingertail


The Dragonborn Comes, by Malukah


The Age of Aggression, by Malukah


I hope you like them as much as I do, these two artists are quite good.

It's that time of year again, and this year I feel kind of down.

This is one of the few years I am not in a position to do much for anyone and it bothers me.
I'd try and take commissions but I know it won't help, I'm not a artist people want to pay for.

Meh, that's fine I suppose makes all the art Mine but very empty at times

This next year is going to be a hard one, people are insane online and in person should you mention anything Political or Joke too freely.
It scares me and makes me avoid all contact, online especially. When I say I don't use any Social Media beyond this and YouTube to watch videos that's the extent of my Internet use besides searches.

I don't bother with multiplayer games as I have had very few good experiences in them, when I play a MMORPG I solo always. All the friends I used to have are now gone, married or turned into some opposite they used to be.

I used to be fearful of people before the world went insane after i left FA for years but now things are cranked up a few more notches. This is why I hide in my Art or in Solo Gaming which is mostly Classic since everything including the Outdoor Grill is online and forced into it.

Bah anyways, rather than drone on and on, I'll stop here
I may miss a day or two this month from posting, I'm dragging my feet now.

Squeak at you laters.

Thanksgiving was good but the beast took me again.

Back to the land of Skyrim!
Its nice knowing where all the secrets are lol.

Return to Skyrim


Senile Scribbles: Skyrim Parody


I'll start drawing again here shortly just as soon as I kill this Dragon and carry its bones back to town overburdened...

Well another Day of the Turkey is coming up Tomorrow, been busy with home and family getting ready.

I hope you all are having a great one, today included. I'll be home having fun hopefully and eating and eating till I fall asleep half off the couch watching Movies.
So slip in your copy of "Planes Trains and Automobiles" and let it play 24hrs like a Christmas Story will be next Month's Holiday.

Have a safe one and I'll be back in a day or two, depends on what happens.

Squeak at you Laters, stay safe =^.^=

Is there an easy way to fix Controller Stick Drifting on PS4?
I have one that keeps drifting upward which makes aiming and other precision use awful.

I've seen some tutorials on taking the whole thing apart to clean it, anyone know of any quick fixes that might help?
I saw one page that said to rubberband the stick down overnight to stress it the opposite way, have no idea if that actually works.

So what do you do when this happens?

I'm in need of a few art supplies and am willing to take a few Commissions in trade for what I need.

This is just to see if people are willing to Trade for Commissions.

I'm Aiming at a Colored Pencil Set on Amazon, its not too pricey but I'm willing to trade a Single Character Color Commission for it.
Castle Art Supplies 72 Premium Colored Coloring Pencils Set - 39.99

Also I need more Inking Pens, so I'm Willing to trade a Single Character Sketch for it.
Sakura Pigma 30067 Micron Blister Card Ink Pen Set, Black, 8/Set - 14.99

If your interested give me a NOTE and we can iron out details.
Basics will be, You order the Item it arrives and I begin work for you.
I don't start before payment or arrival of Item wanted, Sorry been burned before.
Content can be up to you rating wise, its your pic.

If no interest that is fine, thought to ask tho.

This short film had me crying like a baby, it's really cute but heartbreaking in a way as well.



I wish games looked like this more often.

Am I the only one who noticed no Sly Cooper games anymore?
I thought there was a CG movie in the works, i assume it was canned by now if no announcements.

Also why didn't the PS4 get a Collection edition for the system?
The PS-Now games require the monthly service to play the PS3 Sly Collection and Sly4 Thieves in Time which is annoying that you can't just buy it to have offline.
I have the PS3 versions but its a pain switching over the HDMI on my Systems when I want to use the older stuff.

I wonder if they will pass up the PS5 and retire the series for years more, or maybe the PS5 will be the one to have a new Sly Game or Collection adding the 4th to the mix.

In General I miss those games and replaying them is fun but never as fun as starting a new game and story.

Are they still giving out keys for Borderlands 2 and the Pre Sequel?
Also are the items even worth it in your opinion compared to the Oranges you can farm in the game?

I think I got one item I was gaga about from the Golden Keys it was a Shield but I was dumb and used a key at low level.

Anyways if you know if they are still giving out key codes, weekly or monthly and such I'd live to know

Also what was your best item that popped up using a Golden Key?

Feeling a little art burn out so going to go play Borderlands2 again for the day.
I'm not burned out just feel it creeping up, so going to try and diversify my time use and stop endlessly grinding art out.