~Angyl

Those who follow me elsewhere already know what's been happening. I'll keep it short. Took on a part time job a couple of months ago, ended up with a bunch of scary symptoms and ended up signed off sick. Doctor thinks I probably have ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and has referred me to the neurology department, for which I'm waiting an appointment to investigate more fully.

I lost the part time job as a result. I'm just about able to do the basic duties of my artwork self-employment job. I'm still trying to save for the new PC and moving house, as well as just paying for things in general.

It's rough.

I'm slowly getting better, and it is slowly.

When my PC died, the dumbphone (not internet ability, pre-dates QR codes) also died and I lost access to my Telegram account and everyone on it.

If you were on Telegram before, please re-add me. I can't remember everyone's usernames and some I can remember don't show up when I search for them.

My new account is goatato

My pc that I use for all my work has died.

This is very bad news.

I have just finished paying for a second-hand laptop, which is how I'm making this post, but it doesn't have all the software I need to do my work. It also doesn't have any of my work on it, that's all locked up in the hard drives on my dead pc, the hard drives that I'm hoping are okay. I have back ups of some work but not the most recent, the pc died as I was working on things without warning.

Suspected failure is graphics card or motherboard. I've got no visual output to the monitors. The monitors themselves are fine, thankfully, including my drawing tablet.

I've got some things ordered that will hopefully get me access to the hard drives and the work that I need to do. However, I'm not sure if I can do everything I need to since the laptop doesn't have all the functionality I need and was never intended to be a replacement the pc, just a supplementary device to help with work flow.

I have been asking for help to get the funds to buy a new PC for quite a few years now and I'm asking again now. A new machine is going to cost about £2000-3000 GBP for what I need to create my work.

Those reading will know I've only just moved house, so I'm financially crippled. Even though I have just started a part time job, it isn't enough to cover the bills and save for a new PC.

I'm stuck.

This is a situation that's very difficult to get out of and while I'm doing my best, there's only so much I can do.

If you wish, you may donate here: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?host.....=T7S3HES7FQMY8

Cash is the thing I need so I can replace the PC and get back to work. The quicker I can raise the funds the better.

I am no longer a full time artist, I am now a quasi-full-time artist. By that I mean I'm still doing the art as my main job but I now also have a part time job to make sure I have a stable enough income to pay the bills without the anxiety inducing nightmare that is fluctuating self-employed income.

I have to move house in another 12 months or so as that's when the landlord puts the current place I'm renting up for sale so I don't have the option to get settled just yet and I'm looking for a new place now to get a sense of the rental market and what's available. Annoyingly, rent is always significantly higher than mortgage repayments but I can't afford the mortgage deposit to take advantage of that... yet. Houses are pretty cheap where I live now and I like it here so I'm hoping to one day be able to afford a little place of my own so I can escape the rent trap.

In the meantime what this means is I'm going to be working very hard this year to get as much savings as I possibly can together, keep the artwork rolling and hopefully earning me more, and knuckling down with the new job to try and make that as stable as possible. I really hope this all takes me in a positive direction, it's much needed.

Hello! I hope you're having a great time out there, whatever you're up to. I'll be copy-pasting this to my other accounts here on FA to get the whole audience up to speed.

I moved house a couple of months ago, again, and have been trying to get everything sorted out. I'm currently living in a house share but I'm looking to move to my own place in a couple of years because where I'm living at the moment is going to be going on the market in about two years, so I'm still not allowed to be settled and secure. Getting really tired of the constant moving. Anyway, living situation isn't terrible, a little cramped perhaps for what I'd like to do, but I can manage, and the housemate is a decent sort and easy to share space with so I'm grateful for that.

The surprise has been the art community here which honestly I wasn't expecting for the area at all. I was all geared up to get a 'regular job' just so I had a stable and regular income but it might not come to that yet (I'm still looking anyway, as much as I love my art job it can be very stressful financially). The art community here is thriving and I've had the opportunity to speak to real world professional artists, curators, promoters, etc. and it's really opened my eyes to where I've been going wrong unknowingly with my little business. Most of what I'm doing is right, I've got the right attitude, the right professional approach, and I'm ticking a lot of the boxes people tend to get wrong. I'm held back a bit by having no professional training and I can't see myself pursuing that path either at this point unless I end up with a big old cash/time windfall. Where I've been going wrong most of all is pricing.

Pricing is a funny old thing. We live in a society absolutely saturated with images so the value of art is very often overlooked. The furry community chronically undercharges for work and those artists that do charge industry standard are often criticised very heavily for being elitist and shutting out regular furs. Thing is, those artists are right to charge what they do and now I know why. For my entire career I've been grossly undercharging for my work, I remember when I first started I was charging £5 for full colour commissions... that was such a long time ago. Fact is, art costs time and materials and labour to create and all of that needs to be paid for. It doesn't matter if people think you're being elitist or that they're entitled to what you're producing, as a skilled craftsperson you deserve proper compensation.

That was really the surprising thing to learn. Of all the places I thought I might be going wrong the one thing that was unanimously highlighted was that my pricing structure was insufficient to live on. Honestly, I do know that. Even on a fully booked month I struggle to make enough to live on, literally working every hour I can my hourly rate simply wasn't high enough to cover my costs. It was a problem right in front of me that I had a total blindspot about, probably because money has never been a motivator for me. I don't care for the accumulation of personal wealth and never have, and that's a problem when you need to have some of that mindset to successfully run a business of any scale.

Commissions are open at the time of writing. Have a look through the gallery and whatnot and drop me a line if you fancy something. Go over to  whitecoltproductions for Art Stream notifications which are usually every Friday.

2018 is here and it's almost the end of January so time for an update!

COMMISSIONS: Four slots are open for February as of now.

I'm hoping to be a bit more active on here this year. Most of my activity has been on my adult account  whitecoltproductions and that's where the paid work has been coming from so this little spot has been a bit neglected, unfortunately. I'm hoping to rectify that with some character exploration and personal art which 2017 didn't leave me a lot of time for.

To those of you still supporting and following me here a bit THANK YOU for that, it is very much appreciated. Every one of your Favourites here helps spread the visibility of this account. If there's anything non-porn you'd like to see me create please do shout! I can't guarantee I'll create it, but if I know what you'd like then the idea will be in my head for when I do sit down to create in my free time.

It took a while but I finally have access to FA again and have been spending most of today getting caught up. I will check Notes on Monday or Tuesday of next week when I get back to my desk, I'll be afk from tomorrow and won't have internet access for the duration.

In the meantime, if you're waiting on a reply from me via FA and haven't had one yet, please be patient! I will get to you eventually.

So on Tuesday my PC died pretty terminally. Thankfully the hard drive was salvagable but the rest was dead, as well as being obsolete.

I had to borrow quite a large sum of cash (nearly £600 GBP) to replace it with a new machine and I *still* need a new monitor, current one is too small and running on an adaptor which is less than ideal.

Happily the new machine is so far GREAT.

I am in the process of transferring my work stuff and other important things from my old hard drive onto the new computer and getting everything properly set up. This takes time. As a result of that and the fact I still have quite a lot of work on I shan't be taking on any new commissions until JANUARY 2016.




If you're interested in a commission of any sort, do sent me a Note with a basic outline and your e-mail address OR send an e-mail direct to caelanwhitecolt[at]gmail.com It costs nothing to discuss and get a quote for when I am open next year.




Going to have to work hard and tighten my belt to clear off the loan for the new computer now. Just what I needed.

I'm fed up of moving house now, hopefully the new place will be The One.

I move on Saturday so I'm going to be a bit quiet and will be without internet sometime around the moving date while they transfer the account over.

Should be good though. New house is seemingly free of leaks and sewage issues and smells and since it's detached there's no worry of getting screaming through the walls from our horrible neighbours. I'll have somewhere to keep my car off the road so I shan't need to dodge dog poo or check for new paint damage or check my valve caps haven't been stolen like I do here with it parked on the street. I even have a garage so I can get tinker time in a lot easier and can clean the car even if the weather is appalling.

The house itself is really small but big enough for what I need and for me to have a work space Even better, it has a garden which helps with my mental and physical fitness and my creative focus. I'm excited and anxious in equal measure, it'll be my third house move in as many years.

Sometimes life is pretty tough on the old grey matter and I'm not ashamed to admit that part of the reason I've closed my commission list is that I'm really struggling to cope psychologically.

The year before last my grandmother died, we were quite close until her last few years when my father contrived to keep me from learning she was ill.

Last year my mother died, very unexpectedly, and that hurt a great deal. She was my closest friend and ally, we helped one another cope with our various mental health problems, we supported one another. Then suddenly she was gone. It still hurts, I don't think it will ever stop hurting, mainly because it was so unfair that someone who was such a large and supportive part of so many people's lives should be gone so instantly and without reason.

This year my dog died. Or rather, the dog who had been a part of my life for the last fourteen years, an elderly fellow that I had promised my mother I would care for to the best of my abilities, had to be put to sleep because his failing heart and advanced years meant he wouldn't survive anaesthetic let alone surgery to make him better again. That still hurts more than I can put in words, more so today perhaps because I collected his ashes from the vets.

To compound that, the same day I learned my grandfather has early onset Parkinson's. I've spoken to him on the 'phone on his birthday and it was clear he's struggling remembering people. He's in his 90s now and like my mother he gave a lot to his community, family and friends. The needs of others were and still are always greater to him than his own needs.

On top of all that, we're moving house again. Our current landlord is doing everything he can to ensure it does not go smoothly by doing wonderful things like refusing the give references. He's good at refusing things, like refusing to inspect the leaky roof, refusing the fix the wastepipe that puts sewage into the back yard so it has to be regularly sluiced down... he's not a nice person.

I'm also watching my younger brother's physical health decline and his struggle with his own pride so he won't ask for help and clings doggedly to his independance. I can't openly pity him, I can't openly do anything other than keep up his pretence that everything is fine and he'll just get on with being a dad to his three kids.

I no longer have anything to do with my father. I have very little close family left and it seems every year someone dear to me is taken away. I put a brave face on it, one has to, I've got bills to pay and a life that needs living but it's difficult. It's really difficult.

Worst of all, I have no friends to just talk to and have fun with locally. My nearest friends are 70 miles away, if it weren't for the internet I probably wouldn't even have contact with them. I feel incredibly alone and every day this week has been a struggle. I carry on because I don't know what else to do, just putting one foot in front of the other in the hope that I'm getting somewhere. Just carrying on in the hope that it will get better eventually.

I'm still about, still being super busy offline which is making it look like I'm doing NOTHING online.

I've got several projects being worked on and several commissions. I won't be open for new work for at least another week, possibly two, due to my current work load. It's good to be so busy but it's also frustrating for me.

I'm on a bit of a drive to try and get my computer renewed. Thankfully, commission work both here and outside of the furry fandom has been quite good so I've been able to both pay my bills and buy the first items that need replacing starting with the keyboard and mouse.

I've been relying on a very cheap mouse - Trust brand, cost £3 - that turns itself on and off randomly and a single button click translates to 0-6 actual clicks. In short, it is knackered. To prevent chronic shitty mouse syndrome I've invested £22 in a Speedlink Ledos which should have a longer shelf life and be more accurate to use than any mouse I've had in a long time.

The other item that was failing me is the keyboard, one I inherited after my Microsoft Ergonomic board of many years spectacularly died and did the digital equivalent of dropping all its keys. The one I'm using presently is an uncomfortable Tesco brand thing. I've replaced it with a Microsoft Natural Ergonomic 4000 for about £36. It's the newer version of the old ergo-board I had and should be a lot more comfortable to use.

Next items are going to be a large monitor, probably around a 32" offering from DELL whose monitors I get on with quite well, and some decent speakers to replace the cheap Trust ones I've been tolerating for a number of years.

Then I get on to the really expensive side of things when I build a new tower which needs everything (including the case) bar the hard drive which is the only relatively new and up to date thing in there.

I have a bit of a problem with my computer which I've been limping along for the past four years while life just devours every penny I earn. I reckon I can get it through this year but that'll be it.

My mouse randomly turns itself on and off. The keyboard works most of the time. The monitor keeps doing weird bleeding-screen stuff. The speakers don't always work properly. I can't stream video, I can't use a microphone. Scanning pictures crashes the system, I'm still on Windows XP and I'm getting to the point that many things are just impossible to do.

This is bad, because I need to use the computer to earn a living. That means a complete replacement and at the moment that's looking to be a budget of at least £500 GBP, which is a lot of money. My computer was last updated with second hand parts about 8 years ago.

So I need work and I need a lot of it. I want to get a decently future-proofed machine so I have time to put savings away for its inevitable replacement in a few years down the line. Mainly, I want a machine that isn't going to be a chore to live with and can get through a full day's work without the need for a restart.


Can you help? I hope so.

I have a funky new avatar, it's ace, it's all thanks to the chibi commissions that  dogsoul has been doing lately.

They're very silly and very awesome. Look at my amazing floofybutt!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15418606/

So the house move went successfully and I'm all settled in.

OMG NO INTERNET!

At least, not properly until mid-August. Strangely, this house doesn't have a phone line installed at all. In the meantime I'm using temporary internet courtesy of my house-mate's mobile through magic and witchcraft or something. I don't really understand how it works, but he magically got my stubborn old PC to be wireless capable, a feat nobody else has ever achieved with it.


Anyway, this means that I'm working through commissions rather neatly at the moment but I haven't the capability to upload artwork at the time of writing and I'm still sorting out all the gubbins to get my big old A3 scanner thing working again as I had to leave the good A4 scanner behind.

Do feel free to enquire if you'd like a commission, I'll pick up messages and e-mails as and when I can, and remember it's always free to ask me for prices and stuff.

Mum passed away. We're dealing with it as well as we can. I shall obviously be out of things for a bit while I sort all of the things I need to.

Donations to the intensive care unit that looked after Mum will be welcome, we shall release the details of how to do this for those that would like to as and when it happens.

3am this morning Dad and I had to get Mum taken to hospital by the ambulance services. The news isn't good. She suffered an aneurysm on her brain stem, quite a large one that's inoperable. The chances of recovery are smaller than slim to none and while she's presently in a medically induced coma in hospital, we've been told not to expect anything to change. After 3 days they remove the life support, though I'm not sure how exactly that works as she is still breathing for herself.

The whole family is distraught, this came out of nowhere. My Mum and Dad have been married for 35 years and together for just a bit longer. We're all hoping, even though we shouldn't, that some miracle or Mum's stubborness or anything will happen to pull her through. Collectively we know people that have died from this and people that have survived.

I have periods where I'm okay and I can function, and periods where I just crumple into a pile of tears because frankly, I have no idea what to do. Mum's my longest standing friend, we still had lots of adventures together and now it looks like all too soon it's set to be taken away.

She's only 58.

So for this reason I hope you'll all understand why I may find it difficult to work on commissions and other artwork.