~BMWu

That I'm still here. Been handling problems with the family and other RL situations.

I'm starting to have doubts whether or not I consider myself a "good" or even "decent" artist. Even though I haven't post any art for the past few months, I have been trying to improve my drawing skills; especially since I only have a mouse to "draw" with (Though I might get a graphics tablet sooner or later). For some reason however, no matter how much effort and time I put into my work, it never feels like I've improved at all.

So, I've been watching a number of "drawing" streams (or whatever people call them) to see if I can learn anything new, get some tips, etc... and it feels like there's no way people get better simply from hours and hours of drawing. It feels like drawing is more of a "talent" or "gift" than something anyone can do just by doing it. I've been trying to improve my drawing skill for a number of years, but it feels like my art fails in comparison to others.

I don't know if it's something that takes an incredibly long time to master or something you have to be born with, but after watching the stream, I'm pretty much jealous of every artist whose artwork is just magnificent.

I'm not sure if I'll take a permanent leave cause of this, but I'm feeling defeated and very depressed to the point that I may never recover.