Regarding My Modeling Endeavors
a year ago
Commissions are open, shoot me a message if you'd like one!
As I'm sure most of you are aware, I recently started to dabble in 3D modeling and animation with Blender. It's been an aspiration of mine for a long time, actually. To date I've produced 4 rigged and textured character models, and created 3 animations. I can say that in a few months I've learned more than I can really comprehend.
With that said, I wish that I could say this experience has been liberating or inspiring. Recently, it's left me extremely demoralized. I've been too exhausted to accomplish much, but I had to get the work finished so it wouldn't loom over me. It could just be that I've poorly allocated my resources this time around.
Blender is a particularly temperamental tool, with a lot of options. At least in my experience, learning to model is a matter of comprehending a wide variety of techniques of varying complexity and learning when to apply them. A lot of tutorial resources can be completely incompatible with the methods you plan on using, and you won't know unless you're already aware of the alternative.
And that's to say nothing on how important a proper workflow is to put out anything worthwhile. I have never, through any of the mediums I've experimented with, encountered a tool that produces results this fragile. Some necessary steps of the process are irreversible and destructive. All of that compounds to make modeling more stressful than anything else, sometimes.
My standards are starting to outgrow my capabilities, which is likely only making things feel worse. Making a good model (like the kind you're likely to see worked with online) isn't just beyond my ability, it's beyond my comprehension. I'm sure dedicated Blender modelers would scoff at all this, in the unlikely event any of them are reading this. In the grand scheme of things, my experience is sub-beginner. The help from other 3D artists I've received has been immensely helpful, but there's only so much they've been able to assist me.
I think I've psyched myself into a bit of a warped mindset, that prevents me from imagining that I'll ever be good enough at this. Part of it feels like there's an assumed baseline competence that I can't live up to. Part of it feels like I'm working in a way that's unrespectable to the community. I feel like an invader to all this business.
I should reiterate that in all likelihood, none of those things are true. It's just the way my mind has been processing things.
I don't think I can state with confidence what the path forward looks like. Maybe I'll quit modeling, or maybe I'll keep it up by remaking my older models. Neither option really sounds good right now.
Thank you for listening.
I'd like to give a special shoutout to
dtcynic for giving me his patience, attention, and time.
I might need to go on a hiatus following this journal, it's hard to say for sure. It could be that I need a change of pace rather than a break. If any of you have been after a commission, now wouldn't be a bad time.
With that said, I wish that I could say this experience has been liberating or inspiring. Recently, it's left me extremely demoralized. I've been too exhausted to accomplish much, but I had to get the work finished so it wouldn't loom over me. It could just be that I've poorly allocated my resources this time around.
Blender is a particularly temperamental tool, with a lot of options. At least in my experience, learning to model is a matter of comprehending a wide variety of techniques of varying complexity and learning when to apply them. A lot of tutorial resources can be completely incompatible with the methods you plan on using, and you won't know unless you're already aware of the alternative.
And that's to say nothing on how important a proper workflow is to put out anything worthwhile. I have never, through any of the mediums I've experimented with, encountered a tool that produces results this fragile. Some necessary steps of the process are irreversible and destructive. All of that compounds to make modeling more stressful than anything else, sometimes.
My standards are starting to outgrow my capabilities, which is likely only making things feel worse. Making a good model (like the kind you're likely to see worked with online) isn't just beyond my ability, it's beyond my comprehension. I'm sure dedicated Blender modelers would scoff at all this, in the unlikely event any of them are reading this. In the grand scheme of things, my experience is sub-beginner. The help from other 3D artists I've received has been immensely helpful, but there's only so much they've been able to assist me.
I think I've psyched myself into a bit of a warped mindset, that prevents me from imagining that I'll ever be good enough at this. Part of it feels like there's an assumed baseline competence that I can't live up to. Part of it feels like I'm working in a way that's unrespectable to the community. I feel like an invader to all this business.
I should reiterate that in all likelihood, none of those things are true. It's just the way my mind has been processing things.
I don't think I can state with confidence what the path forward looks like. Maybe I'll quit modeling, or maybe I'll keep it up by remaking my older models. Neither option really sounds good right now.
Thank you for listening.
I'd like to give a special shoutout to
dtcynic for giving me his patience, attention, and time.I might need to go on a hiatus following this journal, it's hard to say for sure. It could be that I need a change of pace rather than a break. If any of you have been after a commission, now wouldn't be a bad time.
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