The Midwest Survival Guide
How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink, and Eat... Everything with Ranch
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Narrated by:
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Charlie Berens
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By:
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Charlie Berens
About this listen
Everything you need to know to survive in the greatest place on Earth
Have you ever had a goodbye lasting more than four hours? Do you lack the emotional capacity to say “I love you” so you just tell your loved ones to “watch out for deer”? Have you apologized to a stranger because she stepped on your foot? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re a Midwesterner - or a Midwesterner at heart.
Even if you answered no, you probably know someone who held the door for you from two football fields away. He likely waved at you and said, “Hey there", like you organized the church bar crawl together. That was a Midwesterner in the wild. We understand that your interaction was strange - but it’s likely to get stranger. Don’t wait until they stick their head in your second-floor window to invite you over for a perch fry because they climbed on your roof to clean your gutters. There’s no need to pull the pepper spray; this species is helpful by nature. And the relationship could be very symbiotic - but only if you let it happen. And that’s where this book comes into play.
Inspired by my comedy tours across the Midwest and life growing up in Wisconsin, this book is an exploration into my favorite region on Earth. Some may think the Midwest is just a bunch of bland flyover states filled with less diversity than a Monsanto monoculture. But scratch that surface with your buck knife, and you’ll find rich cultures and traditions proving we’re more than just fifty shades of milk.
So whether you’re a born-and-bred Midwesterner looking to sharpen your skill at apologies or a costal elite visiting the in-laws for the holidays, this book will help you navigate the Midwest, with everything from the best flannel looks to dating and mating rituals (yes, casserole is involved) to climbing the corporate corn silo to how to handle a four-way stop - and every backyard brat fry in between.
And for those of you who don’t like listening, don’t worry - we’ve got pictures! Toss in illustrations, sidebars, quizzes, and jokes worthy of a supper club stall and The Midwest Survival Guide is just the walleye-deep look into this distinctive, beautiful, and bizarre American culture you’ve been looking for.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Charlie Berens (P)2021 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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- Length: 5 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet the Jolly Boys - five men from northern Wisconsin who built a deer hunting shack in 1955 and established a tradition that has now lasted over six decades. Hunting Camp 52, affectionately known as Blue Heaven, is a place where every trail, rock, and ravine has its own nickname; every kill is recorded by hand on a window shade; every hunter happily croons along during evening songfests; and every rowdy poker game lasts late into the night.
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Love the story of tradition and laughs.
- By Anonymous User on 11-27-24
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Money Secrets of the Amish
- Finding True Abundance in Simplicity, Sharing, and Saving
- By: Lorilee Craker
- Narrated by: Lorilee Craker
- Length: 4 hrs and 43 mins
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Take one thoroughly modern gal with a recessionary income problem, mix with the practices of a culture that has proved to be recession-proof, and what have you got? A financial planner in a straw hat. When writer Lorilee Craker learned that the Amish are not just surviving but thriving in the economic downturn, she decided to find out why.
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Pure Listening Pleasure!
- By Yaz on 08-04-11
By: Lorilee Craker
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Be a Man
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- By: The Be a Man Guy
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- Length: 3 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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On Tik Tok, Instagram, and his podcast, The Be a Man Guy discusses what it takes to be a man. Now, this funny and insightful book showcases all new stories, vignettes, anecdotes, and pearls of wisdom.
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I didn't find much lasting value.
- By I Ate Your Pug For Lunch and It was Tasty on 07-07-23
By: The Be a Man Guy
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Unprocessed
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In January of 2012, Megan Kimble was a 26-year-old living in a small apartment without even a garden plot to her name. But she cared about where food came from, how it was made, and what it did to her body: so she decided to go an entire year without eating processed foods. Unprocessed is the narrative of Megan's extraordinary year, in which she milled wheat, extracted salt from the sea, milked a goat, slaughtered a sheep, and more - all while earning an income that fell well below the federal poverty line.
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Very insightful
- By Anonymous User on 01-10-21
By: Megan Kimble
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Confessions of a Carb Queen
- A Memoir
- By: Susan Blech, Caroline Bock
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
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By the time Susan Blech was 38 years old, she weighed a staggering 468.1 pounds. She binged. She was "only a little chubby," or so she convinced herself. Gripping, sometimes shocking, and ultimately inspiring, Confessions of a Carb Queen is the story of how Susan changed her life to save her life, ultimately losing 250 pounds without surgery. Susan speaks candidly about eating binges, fat sex, and other topics no obese person has dared to address.
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Negative reviews are ridiculous.
- By Heather Marie on 01-07-16
By: Susan Blech, and others
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The Last Tribe
- By: Brad Manuel
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 22 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Fourteen-year-old Greg Dixon is living a nightmare. Attending boarding school outside of Boston, he is separated from his family when a pandemic strikes. His classmates and teachers are dead, rotting in a dormitory-turned-morgue steps from his room. The nights are getting colder, and his food has run out. The last message from his father is to get away from the city and to meet at his grandparents' town in remote New Hampshire.
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A perfect year in the post apocalypse.
- By Andrew Pollack on 06-18-16
By: Brad Manuel
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Eating for England
- The Delights and Eccentricities of the British at Table
- By: Nigel Slater
- Narrated by: Nigel Slater
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
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Performance
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The British have a relationship with their food that is unlike that of any other country. Once something that was never discussed in polite company, it is now something with which the nation is obsessed. But are we at last developing a food culture or are we just going through the motions? Eating for England is an entertaining, detailed, and somewhat tongue-in-cheek observation of the British and their food, their cooking, their eating, and how they behave in restaurants.
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A Must-Hear!
- By Laura on 07-04-08
By: Nigel Slater
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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After her acclaimed memoir, Mostly Sunny, Janice Dean figured she was done trying to survive or bring down awful men. Then she found herself taking on Governor Andrew Cuomo on social media and then at rallies. What at first seemed like a futile fight ended with Cuomo’s historic resignation. But it caused Janice to wonder: What fuels someone’s resolve to go up against a powerful opponent? And how can ordinary people make the world a better place?
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Memories are the cornerstones of our identity, shaping who we are, how we act, and how we feel. In his work as a happiness researcher, Meik Wiking has learned that people are happier if they hold a positive, nostalgic view of the past. But how do we make and keep the memories that bring us lasting joy? The Art of Making Memories examines how mental images are made, stored, and recalled in our brains, as well as the "art of letting go" - why we tend to forget certain moments to make room for deeper, more meaningful ones.
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What listeners say about The Midwest Survival Guide
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- toni wetzel
- 01-17-22
intelligent and sentimental
Intelligent and sentimental humor. well researched. I have listened twice. i want to listen and learn more about the Midwest and laugh.
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- Scott M.
- 07-11-22
Quintessential Midwest
I just moved to the South from the Chicago area and I have drawn many strange looks, laughing hysterically in private and public at how painfully accurate this book is. I've easily listened to this book 5 times in the last month and counting!
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- Todd
- 09-03-23
Spot on
It’s a funny and accurate portrayal of life in the Midwest. This is a very easy listen that I’ll definitely go back and listen to again and again.
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- A random joe
- 03-02-22
good, but...
you said Willis Tower. what kinda Midwesterner are you? It's pronounced "SEARS TOWER"!!! other than that, it's funny. for anyone else reading about the Chicago drivers - it's true. once you're an hour outside Chicago it's back to normal again.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 11-18-22
Funny and informative
I moved to the Midwest a year ago and found this guide both enjoyable to listen to and helpful as I acclimate to my new home. BTW - I bought this book on a good sale.
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- D. Sonnleitner
- 01-19-22
Great book!
Loved it! makes ya realize cultural differences in the Midwest. Very entertaining and hard to put down...ope...I mean stop the Audible because of interruptions.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-07-23
Exactly what you would hope for and expect
Charlie does a great job representing the Midwest in this reading of the survival guide. I usually don’t write reviews, but after being reminded of Midwest nice, I felt I had to.
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- Austin Cy
- 04-05-23
if you want to know about the Midwest
very fun. reminds me of home. glad I got to listen. hope you enjoy.
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- Mathias farnsworth
- 12-31-21
Midwest you bet yah
If you moved away from the Midwest, this book with bring you back to the area. It is full of stories that will entertain you and make you laugh
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1 person found this helpful
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- Di's
- 12-12-22
Welcome to realities of the Midwest… lol
Informative, true and humorous. Slightly slanted to northern Midwest but great look into the oddities of how we midwesterners function. Worth the listen.
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