Quitter
A Memoir of Drinking, Relapse, and Recovery
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Narrated by:
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Jean Ann Douglass
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By:
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Erica C. Barnett
About this listen
"Barnett's prose style is brassy and cleareyed, with echoes of Anne Lamott." (Beth Macy, The New York Times Book Review)
"Emotionally devastating and self-aware, this cautionary tale about substance abuse is a worthy heir to Cat Marnell's How to Murder Your Life." (Publishers Weekly starred review)
A startlingly frank memoir of one woman's struggles with alcoholism and recovery, with essential new insights into addiction and treatment.
Erica C. Barnett had her first sip of alcohol when she was 13, and she quickly developed a taste for drinking to oblivion with her friends. In her late 20s, her addiction became inescapable. Volatile relationships, blackouts, and unsuccessful stints in detox defined her life, with the vodka bottles she hid throughout her apartment and offices acting as both her tormentors and closest friends.
By the time she was in her late 30s, Erica Barnett had run the gauntlet of alcoholism. She had recovered and relapsed time and again but after each new program or detox center would find herself far from rehabilitated. "Rock bottom", Barnett writes, "is a lie." It is always possible, she learned, to go lower than your lowest point. She found that the terms other alcoholics used to describe the trajectory of their addiction - "rock bottom" and "moment of clarity" - and the mottoes touted by Alcoholics Anonymous, such as "let go and let God" and "you're only as sick as your secrets" - didn't correspond to her experience and could actually be detrimental.
With remarkably brave and vulnerable writing, Barnett expands on her personal story to confront the dire state of addiction in America, the rise of alcoholism in American women in the last century, and the lack of rehabilitation options available to addicts. At a time when opioid addiction is a national epidemic and one in 12 Americans suffers from alcohol abuse disorder, Quitter is essential listening for our age and an ultimately hopeful story of Barnett's own hard-fought path to sobriety.
©2020 Erica C. Barnett (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“I can’t think of another memoir that captures the nightmare of drinking relapse like this one. Erica Barnett’s tale is brutal, maddening, and beautiful. Quitter will give hope to anyone afraid they can't ever get this thing. Hang in there. You just might.” (Sarah Hepola, New York Times best-selling author of Blackout)
“[Barnett] paints a grotesque portrait of the horror show that is alcoholism with great skill and style. I tore through this book.” (Cat Marnell, New York Times best-selling author of How to Murder Your Life)
“Quitter is all these things: a beautifully told story of one woman's descent into darkness; a rigorously researched exploration of the causes and treatments of alcohol abuse; a furious howl of pain. Erica C. Barnett has written a female story of addiction that moves beyond clichés and accepted truths. I loved this book, in all its raging glory.” (Claire Dederer, author of Love and Trouble)
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What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
- By Keith Keller on 01-31-20
By: Laura McKowen
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Junkie Love
- By: Joe Clifford
- Narrated by: Timothy McKean
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the cow fields of Connecticut to the streets of San Francisco, Joe Clifford's Junkie Love traverses the lost highways of America, down the rocky roads of mental illness to the dead ends of addiction. Based on Clifford's own harrowing experience with drugs as a rock 'n' roll wannabe in the 1990s, the audiobook draws on the best of Kerouac and the Beats, injecting a heavy dose of pulp fiction as it threads a rollicking narrative through a doomed love triangle, lit up by the many strange characters he meets along the way.
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WOW! an inside look into an junkies mind
- By TinkerMel on 05-16-17
By: Joe Clifford
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Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self
- By: Danielle Evans
- Narrated by: Daniel Deadwyler, Jeanette Illidge, Je Nie Fleming, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Striking in their emotional immediacy, the stories in Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self are based in a world where inequality is reality but where the insecurities of adolescence and young adulthood, and the tensions within family and the community, are sometimes the biggest complicating forces in one's sense of identity and the choices one makes.
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things we do to oursekves
- By Jamintel on 02-06-23
By: Danielle Evans
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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Missing Parts
- By: Lucinda Berry
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Growing up abandoned by her father and raised by a single mother, Celeste was determined to create the perfect family - but even perfect families have secrets. Her days are filled with a rewarding career, a devoted husband, and her four-year-old daughter. Celeste is the only one who knows the precarious house of cards her family is built upon - until the day her daughter falls critically ill. Then her world quickly spirals out of control, her secret threatening to destroy her marriage, family, reputation, and sanity.
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SPOILER ALERT. Sigh...
- By Kelly on 10-08-20
By: Lucinda Berry
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Something She's Not Telling Us
- A Novel
- By: Darcey Bell
- Narrated by: Vivienne Leheny, Carly Robins, Pete Simonelli, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Charlotte has everything in life that she ever could have hoped for: a doting, artistic husband, a small-but-thriving flower shop, and her sweet, smart five-year-old daughter, Daisy. Her relationship with her mother might be strained, but the distance between them helps. And her younger brother Rocco may have horrible taste in women, but when he introduces his new girlfriend to Charlotte and her family, they are cautiously optimistic that she could be The One. Daisy seems to love Ruth, and she can’t be any worse than the klepto Rocco brought home the last time.
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Should be "Something Almost Happened"
- By Kimberly Wasilewski on 05-03-20
By: Darcey Bell
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The Undocumented Americans
- By: Karla Cornejo Villavicencio
- Narrated by: Karla Cornejo Villavicencio
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Writer Karla Cornejo Villavicencio was on DACA when she decided to write about being undocumented for the first time using her own name. It was right after the election of 2016, the day she realized the story she'd tried to steer clear of was the only one she wanted to tell. So she wrote her immigration lawyer's phone number on her hand in Sharpie and embarked on a trip across the country to tell the stories of her fellow undocumented immigrants—and to find the hidden key to her own.
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Raw, heartbreaking - we can do better by others
- By RapaciousReader on 04-11-20
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Permanent Midnight
- A Memoir (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Jerry Stahl, Nic Sheff - foreword
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl, Scott Merriman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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Pain Killer
- A Memoir of Big League Addiction
- By: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg - foreword
- Narrated by: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood.
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I love hockey.
- By Brew2go on 06-14-21
By: Brantt Myhres, and others
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Scars and Stilettos - 2nd Edition
- By: Harmony Dust
- Narrated by: Harmony Dust
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Scars and Stilettos: At 13, after being abandoned by her mother one summer and left to take care of her younger brother, Harmony becomes susceptible to a relationship that turns out to be toxic, abusive, and ultimately exploitative. She eventually finds herself working in a strip club at the age of 19, and her boyfriend becomes her pimp, controlling her every move and taking all of her money. Ultimately, she discovers a path to freedom and a whole new life.
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A religious book
- By Amazonbuyer on 10-12-21
By: Harmony Dust
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No Hiding in Boise
- By: Kim Hooper
- Narrated by: Devon Sorvari, Stephanie Willing, Hillary Huber, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Angie is awakened by a midnight call from an officer with the Boise Police Department and thinks there must be a misunderstanding. The officer tells her that her husband was involved in a shooting at a local bar, but how can that be when her husband is sleeping right next to her? But when she turns to wake him, he isn’t there. Tessa is the 23-year-old bartender who escapes to a backroom storage closet during the shooting. When it comes to light that five people were killed, she is burdened with the question of why she survived.
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fantastic audio involving contemporary issues
- By Barbara S on 07-07-21
By: Kim Hooper
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Schadenfreude, a Love Story
- Me, the Germans, and 20 Years of Attempted Transformations, Unfortunate Miscommunications, and Humiliating Situations That Only They Have Words For
- By: Rebecca Schuman
- Narrated by: Christa Lewis
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Schadenfreude is the story of a teenage Jewish intellectual who falls in love - in love with a boy (who breaks her heart), a language (that's nearly impossible to master), a culture (that's nihilistic but punctual), and a landscape (that's breathtaking when there's not a wall in the way). Rebecca is an everyday, misunderstood '90s teenager with a passion for Pearl Jam and Ethan Hawke circa Reality Bites until two men walk into her high school civics class: Dylan Gellner and Franz Kafka, hitching a ride in Dylan's backpack.
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A humorous, delectable read
- By Amazon Customer on 07-13-17
By: Rebecca Schuman
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Something Spectacular
- The True Story of One Rockette’s Battle with Bulimia
- By: Greta Gleissner
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Greta Gleissner, a longtime professional dancer, dreamed her whole life of becoming a Rockette. Then she became one and she fell into the grips of a powerful eating disorder that began poison her life from the inside out. Something Spectacular is Gleissner's raw, personal chronicle of the devastating effects bulimia exacts upon her life during her time as a Rockette. As her disorder takes over, she begins to lead a dual life: happy-go-lucky on the outside; tortured by obsessive, self-destructive voices on the inside
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A Good Memoir, Badly Narrated
- By NNN on 10-09-17
By: Greta Gleissner
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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Bad Habits
- By: Amy Gentry
- Narrated by: Rebecca Lowman
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Claire "Mac" Woods—a professor enjoying her newfound hotshot status at an academic conference—finally has the acceptance and admiration she has long craved. But at the conference's hotel bar, Mac is surprised to run into a face from a past she'd rather forget: the moneyed, effortlessly perfect Gwendolyn Whitney, Mac's foil, rival, and former best friend.
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Outstanding!
- By SLuzaz on 02-15-21
By: Amy Gentry
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This Side of Alcohol is borne out of the cathartic journaling I did during the first two years following my break-up with alcohol. It tells the story of what I did to get and stay sober, allowing me to transform my shame, guilt, and anger into self-compassion, self-discovery, and forgiveness—of myself and others. From self-loathing isolation to a joyous community of support and rediscovered intimacy with my family.
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Like many women, Clare Pooley found the juggle of a stressful career and family life a struggle, so she left her successful role as a managing partner in one of the world's biggest advertising agencies to look after her family. She knew the change wouldn't be easy, but she never expected to find herself an overweight, depressed, middle-aged mother of three who was drinking more than a bottle of wine a day and spending her evenings Googling 'am I an alcoholic?'
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The performance makes this one worthwhile...
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Stash
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
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Overall
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Overall
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The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
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Overall
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Ever sworn off alcohol for January and found yourself drinking by the 7th? Think there's 'no point' in just one drink? Welcome! There are millions of us. This inspirational, aspirational and highly relatable narrative champions the benefits of sobriety with a three-pronged approach combining the author's personal experience, factual reportage and contributions from expert sources and self-help advice for anyone who wants to reduce their alcohol intake or eliminate it completely.
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Lit
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Finally! One for the "Win" column
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Between Breaths
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Overall
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Beloved former ABC 20/20 anchor Elizabeth Vargas reveals her alcohol addiction and anxiety disorder in a shockingly honest and emotional memoir. From the moment she uttered the brave and honest words, "I am an alcoholic," to interviewer George Stephanopoulos, Elizabeth Vargas began writing her story, as her experiences were still raw. Now, in Between Breaths, Vargas discusses her accounts of growing up with anxiety—which began suddenly at the age of six when her father served in Vietnam.
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Brave and Beautiful
- By LAFalls on 09-14-16
By: Elizabeth Vargas
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
- Narrated by: Laura McKowen
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Overall
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Performance
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What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
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By: Laura McKowen
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Not Drinking Tonight
- A Guide to Creating a Sober Life You Love
- By: Amanda E. White LPC
- Narrated by: Amanda E. White LPC, Suehyla El-Attar
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Performance
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Story
In this honest discussion of mental health, the founder of Therapy for Women explores our reasons for drinking alcohol - and the benefits of taking a break.
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Disappointing
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A Happier Hour
- By: Rebecca Weller
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Rebecca Weller’s pounding, dehydrated head woke her at 3:00 am, yet again, she stared at the ceiling, wondering why the hell she kept doing this to herself. At 39 years of age - and a health coach, no less - she knew better than to down several bottles of wine per week. Her increasingly dysfunctional relationship with alcohol had to stop, but after decades of social drinking, she was terrified of what that might mean. How could she live a joyful existence, without alcohol? How would she relax, socialize, or celebrate - without wine?
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Inspirational
- By DVH on 03-19-21
By: Rebecca Weller
What listeners say about Quitter
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Vanae
- 09-01-20
Intriguing and absolutely amazing!
To hear and walk through Erica's struggle is difficult to understand how she and many others actually CAN overcome any type of addiction. Although, we all know "it" really never completely "goes away." Strong book, I'll be listening to it again.
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- JjM
- 09-22-20
Truthful portrayal of the insidiousness of alcoholism
Written in an honest narrative tone and calm demeanor, Ms Barnett walks you through the journey to hell and back with commentary from the point of view crafted with her journalism expertise. So real you can smell the puke.
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- jash
- 01-11-22
Great read
I enjoyed the book her long-term alcoholism and all the struggles ups and downs that she went through were very insightful
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- kbcav
- 03-04-22
Tough subject some won’t fully grasp
I have multiple people and family members in my circle who have struggled with addiction. Some once, some many times. Either way, it’s a lifelong battle and so few are successful in overcoming relapse. This book helped me have insight to their journey and how I can process and forgive. All that said, it’s a good story too. Sadly, it’s true but I appreciate the honesty of the author.
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- Bridget O.
- 08-24-20
One of the best recovery books ever!
So glad I found this one. Great for anyone who might think it’s too late. Her story will not be forgotten. Brave and inspiring.
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- Abbie Gold
- 09-09-20
Best, authentic story I've read/listened yet.
Truly impactful. I especially appreciated the repeated relapse theme and the insight and truth behind us all needing to figure it out on our own.
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- Heather Weller
- 01-01-23
Powerful
Quite the story. It was real, and spoken from the heart. I highly suggest this one for your next read if you are in recovery.
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- Karen G.
- 08-04-24
What a story of hope when the story seemed hopeless.
I was really rooting for her. What a true story of barely surviving and now thriving. Great listen.
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- Jeanne Wallace
- 11-18-20
Brutal Lies Honesty
An amazingly real, truth of a drinker's life. Probably the most eye opening book I've listened to on this heart wrenching subject.
I'm sharing with friends who have suffered on all sides - alcoholic parents, binge drinking themselves, Covid anxiety increase in alcohol dependency. Last 2 chapters are amazing but not without all the prior. Written & read so well. Read it and weep. Read it and understand. Read it and heal. Thank you Erica.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jamie Harmon
- 11-06-23
Valuable memoir
Thanks for your take on rehab and all your recommendations! This system is flawed and needs to improve. Sadly I see the same patients detox over and over again in the ICU; it’s heart breaking. We need to find a better way!
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1 person found this helpful