Off with My Head
The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
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Narrated by:
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Stassi Schroeder
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By:
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Stassi Schroeder
About this listen
Named one of Us Weekly’s Best Celebrity Memoirs of 2022
The New York Times bestselling author of Next Level Basic and fan-favorite alumna of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules returns with the definitive Basic Bitch handbook for surviving your rock-bottom moments.
The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
Through stories, confessions, illustrations, and plenty of self-reflection and self-deprecation, this new book goes behind the scenes and addresses the experience of getting cancelled, getting that positive pregnancy test, and saying “I do” in the backyard instead of in Italy. Stassi won’t hold back about her transformation from proud basic bitch to... proud basic bitch who has a deeper appreciation for what’s really important in life: love, relationships, mutual respect, and, okay fine, an Aperol spritz and some showtunes when you need them most.
Stassi hopes her story will help others see the light at the end of the tunnel in their own lives and make them laugh along the way. She writes about the importance of having a good cry (at work, in the shower, in your closet), ways to navigate social media responsibly (sometimes that means logging the eff off when crowds are chanting, “OFF WITH HER HEAD”), how to practice self-care when wine is not an option, and how not to become a Bridezilla—plus she’ll offer tips on marrying your f*ckboy, embracing pregnancy sweats (both cashmere sweats and night sweats), and styling baby OOTDs.
So roll up your bedazzled sleeves…or the sleeves of the tattered robe you’ve been wearing nonstop because you’re at rock bottom; grab a cocktail; and let your favorite (more evolved) basic bitch take you on a wild ride inside the bumpiest year of her life.
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By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
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As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
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The Wrong End of the Table
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- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
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By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
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On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
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The Diva Rules
- Ditch the Drama, Find Your Strength, and Sparkle Your Way to the Top
- By: Michelle Visage
- Narrated by: Michelle Visage
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Michelle Visage is not your average diva. Powerful, positive, and polished, this diva's not only glamorous, she's a savvy businesswoman with serious credentials who works her tail off. From her days vogueing in the downtown Manhattan clubs in the '90s to her successful career in radio and her ultimate cult status as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race, Michelle has achieved her dreams and then some!
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A Whole Lot of Nothing
- By teal on 04-29-16
By: Michelle Visage
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I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants)
- Finding Unfiltered, Real-Life Friendships in This Crazy, Chaotic World
- By: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Narrated by: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
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Loneliness doesn't care what age you are, how many Instagram followers you have, or where you call home. It doesn't care how "put together" you appear to the outside world. We have a collective wound that only authentic sisterhood can heal. With real-life vulnerability and "I’ve been there, too" wisdom about building deep and satisfying friendships, Amy and Jess unpack the lies we've been told about friendship
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Heavy religious content slightly off-putting
- By Gary on 03-12-22
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Drinking and Tweeting
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- By: Brandi Glanville, Leslie Bruce
- Narrated by: Brandi Glanville
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Fans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, but the lovable housewife also shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles.
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Who edited this?
- By Jessica on 11-02-20
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Spelling It Like It Is
- By: Tori Spelling
- Narrated by: Tori Spelling
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Tori Spelling is the first to admit that the "reality" behind her popular television show, Tori & Dean, isn't always real. Not even Star magazine could invent the true chaos that happens behind the scenes. Luckily, Tori is famously honest and self-deprecatingly funny when it comes to her personal life - she's always "Spelling it like it is". Tori here shares her stories, her biggest challenges, and more with the usual humor, candor, and down-to-earth charm that her fans love.
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I Spell Opportunist: T O R I S P E L L I N G
- By Hilary on 07-22-14
By: Tori Spelling
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
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A New Model
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One of the most outspoken voices gracing the cover of magazines today encourages women to be their most confident selves, recognize their personal beauty, and reach for their highest dreams in this wise, warm, and inspiring memoir.
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Not That Interesting
- By Erika K Horton on 09-21-17
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Here's the Story
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Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
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Gripping
- By Chris on 08-12-14
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What listeners say about Off with My Head
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amanda Olson
- 05-24-22
LOVE LOVE!!!!
love thus book!!!! I love stassi!!! she makes me want to be better and makes me feel that it's ok to mess up and hit rock bottom and pick yourself up and start over again!!
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- Dana Frye
- 05-03-22
So very good!
Loved every minute of this book! This deserves to be on the beat seller list! I can only hope Stassi writes another!
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- holly
- 07-08-22
Stasis's growing up
I have to be honest when I read Stassi's first book I cringed a little. I guess it's because I'm a few years older than her, and definitely not a basic bitch. I feel like she's gonna look back at her old book and realize how superficial is is, especially after having a baby. But, with that being said, her second book was more refreshing and down to earth. More real life problems. Worded amazing, kept me captivated, I enjoyed every minute of it. Great job Stassi Schröder Clark!!!
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- Kelly
- 06-23-23
So good!! Made me cry!
This book was beyond my expectations. I loved everything about it, Her story, VPR, Beau, her daughter. Just everything about it. Thank you. Looking forward to the next book!
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- melissa
- 04-29-22
She's baack!
Have been a fan since the beginning , never truly cancelled her but honestly thought she could use some perspective as she got progressively harder to defend. This book and her reading it to you is just the Stassi we never knew we needed. She's still snarky and witty but now she is thinking before she speaks and she is clearly putting a lot more effort into growing and learning. I appreciated the honesty and her ability to be self deprecating and vulnerable to the reader. I look forward to more in the future from the new and improved Stassi.
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- Kelly Peters
- 05-02-22
Must read!
Whether you like Stassi or not (which I adore her) this book is a must read. It explains what happened in the last few years and you get the full story- not the headline ones that is whatever the “news” reported wanted to say.
Congrats Stassi on your happiness, family and especially your little girl!
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- Beth
- 05-10-22
Thank You Stassi!
I am so thankful I decided to purchase the audio version of “Off With My Head”! Being able to hear Stassi’s voice, tone, emotions and more allows me to understand a little more about how she taken a mistake, canceling and rock bottom and not given up!
Thank you Stassi for being willing to be transparent and allowing your Khaleesi’s/Sassenach’s/Fans to go through this Journey with you! Thank you, Stassi!
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- ChargerGirl
- 06-13-22
Great book!
Loved this book! Stassi is so relatable when she talks about hitting rock bottom, her raw honesty makes me love her even more. I love the person she has grown into.
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- m.seck
- 05-22-22
Finally someone articulated my pregnancy thoughts!
I want to preface this by saying, I don’t know what Stassi was cancelled for, I don’t know the situation, and I’ve only seen one season of Vanderpump Rules. So this review is based solely off of the audiobook.
I found Stassi through her previous audiobook. I loved that one and I love this one as well. Stassi is easy to listen to and easy to relate to. Especially with this audiobook regarding her pregnancy. At so many points, I found myself nodding along with her and thrilled that someone was articulating my feelings into words. Definitely listening to Expecting Better based on her recommendation.
This audiobook is easy to listen to and easy to engage with. She is relatable and writes in a way that feels like she’s talking to a friend.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-09-22
Amazing!!!
Amazing story. To all the haters Stassi has learned from her mistakes. That is a true Queen!
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