How to Be Married (to Melissa)
A Hilarious Guide to a Happier, One-of-a-Kind Marriage
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Narrated by:
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Dustin Nickerson
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Melissa Nickerson
About this listen
Read by the author!
Your therapist told you that marriage was no laughing matter, but standup comedian and podcaster Dustin Nickerson begs to differ. Join Dustin as he draws on experiences from his incredibly average life to share tips for appreciating the uniqueness of every marriage.
Through storytelling and brutally honest disclosures, Dustin brings his highly relatable brand of humor to the challenges couples may face, including eating healthy (versus being happy), parenting (building crucial survival skills), finances (bill collectors, anyone?), and church attendance (Melissa's purse holds enough mints and fidget toys to entertain the kids and Dustin).
Go beyond the formulas and charts of conventional marriage advice as you dig deep into your one-of-a-kind relationship. In this book written for actual married humans by an actual married human, Dustin shares:
- Why laughter in your marriage is essential--even in the hard times
- Why in marriage, unlike on Southwest, your baggage does not fly free
- An approach to problem-solving (we're talking money, kids, and in-laws) that brings you closer
- Why you should never put Scattergories on your wedding registry
Praise for How to Be Married (to Melissa):
"How to Be Married (to Melissa) feels like you're having a conversation with a guy who has legitimate experience and expertise in my favorite things: faith, marriage, and comedy. In a culture full of 'fake it till you make it' people, Dustin is the real deal when it comes to all three categories." --Trey Kennedy, comedian
©2022 Dustin Nickerson (P)2022 Thomas NelsonListeners also enjoyed...
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Best-selling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family "experts", he sought out the most creative minds - from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets - and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families.
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Well worth reading, even if you can't do it all!
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By: Bruce Feiler
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Off with My Head
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
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Bare Bones
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Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
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By: Bobby Bones
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Let's All Be Brave
- Living Life with Everything You Have
- By: Annie F. Downs
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 4 hrs and 45 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Annie F. Downs admits she's not exactly the bravest girl in the world. She still cries sometimes when she leaves her parents' home in Georgia, she's never jumped out of a plane, and she rides roller coasters only to impress boys. But Annie knows that courage resides inside each and every one of us, and she's on a mission to triumph over her own fears while encouraging listeners to do the same.
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Truly inspired
- By Gregory Wade Odell on 06-21-23
By: Annie F. Downs
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Parenting Your Powerful Child
- Bringing an End to the Everyday Battles
- By: Dr. Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
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Don’t let those cherubic faces fool you. Your smart kids have an agenda - and they’re workin’ ya. Powerful kids don’t just happen. They’re created, and their power comes in different packages. Whether loud and temperamental, quiet and sensitive, or stubborn and manipulative, powerful children can make living with them a challenge. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In Parenting Your Powerful Child, New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical action plan to redirect your child’s power surges into positive traits that will prepare your child for a successful, happy, and productive adult life.
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A MUST read for every parent
- By Elena F. Novak on 11-17-13
By: Dr. Kevin Leman
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I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants)
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- By: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Narrated by: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
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Loneliness doesn't care what age you are, how many Instagram followers you have, or where you call home. It doesn't care how "put together" you appear to the outside world. We have a collective wound that only authentic sisterhood can heal. With real-life vulnerability and "I’ve been there, too" wisdom about building deep and satisfying friendships, Amy and Jess unpack the lies we've been told about friendship
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Heavy religious content slightly off-putting
- By Gary on 03-12-22
By: Amy Weatherly, and others
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Not Afraid of Life
- My Journey So Far
- By: Bristol Palin, Nancy French
- Narrated by: Bristol Palin
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this personal memoir, Bristol Palin opens up for the first time ever. She takes listeners behind the scenes, from growing up in Alaska to coming of age amid the media and political frenzy surrounding her mother's political rise; from becoming a single mother while still a teenager to coping as her relationship with the baby's father crumbled publicly. Through all of these ups and downs, Bristol learned how to face her challenges head-on, with courage and grace.
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Forgiveness
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The Dating Manifesto
- A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose
- By: Lisa Anderson
- Narrated by: Jaimee Draper
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Face it, your attitudes about marriage and the path to marriage are probably wrong. Some you've inherited, some you've simply bought - hook, line, and sinker - and some you've made up yourself. They have translated into bad action (or no action) in dating and relationships. But it's not too late; you can break the cycle of dating dysfunction and learn to honor marriage, marry well, and live intentionally while you wait.
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Modern and biblical
- By Ian on 08-12-15
By: Lisa Anderson
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The Man I Never Met
- A Memoir
- By: Adam Schefter
- Narrated by: Adam Schefter
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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On September 11, 2001, Joe Maio went to work in the north tower of the World Trade Center. He never returned, leaving behind a wife, Sharri, and 15-month old son, Devon. Five years later, Sharri remarried, and Devon welcomed a new dad into his life. For thousands, the whole country really, 9/11 is a day of grief. For Adam and Sharri Maio Schefter and their family it’s not just a day of grief, but also hope. This is a story of 9/11, but it’s also the story of 9/12 and all the days after. Life moved on. Pieces were picked up. New dreams were dreamed. The Schefters are the embodiment of that.
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Remembering a fallen father thru a family
- By Bob H on 09-07-18
By: Adam Schefter
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The Extra Mile
- One Woman's Personal Journey to Ultrarunning Greatness
- By: Pam Reed
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
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One year after her astonishing victory at the Badwater Ultramarathon, Pam Reed again made distance running history when she braved the hottest weather in years - 135 degrees - to successfully defend her title. How does this 100-pound mother and stepmother of five muster the endurance and courage for the 28-hour climb from the hottest desert floor on Earth to the shadow of the continental United States' tallest point?
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Interesting, entertaining, and inspiring
- By Mark on 03-25-15
By: Pam Reed
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The start of Home Depot sounds like the beginning of a bad joke: Two Jews and an Italian decide to build a new kind of hardware store... In 1978, Bernie Marcus's livelihood depended on just such a scenario. Having been fired at the age of forty-nine, he teamed up with Arthur Blank and Ken Langone on a bold new endeavor. Their first day in business was so disastrous that the next morning, Marcus's wife wouldn't let him shave because she didn't want a razor in his hands.
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David Walliams burst on to the American scene with his New York Times best seller Demon Dentist, and now he’s bringing his signature humor to this raucous tale of prison breaks and heists gone wrong in Bad Dad. Frank’s dad was a champion hot-rod racer, Gilbert the Great. But when a terrible accident sees him go from hero to zero, Frank and Gilbert are left with nothing - and in the grips of a wicked crime boss and his henchmen. After Gilbert is thrown in prison, only Frank can come to his rescue....
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Growing up, Jenny Pentland’s life was a literal sitcom. Many of the storylines for her mother’s smash hit series, Roseanne, were drawn from Pentland’s early family life in working-class Denver. But that was only the beginning of the drama. Roseanne Barr’s success as a comedian catapulted the family from the Rockies to star-studded Hollywood—with its toxic culture of money, celebrity, and prying tabloids that was destabilizing for a child in grade school.
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What listeners say about How to Be Married (to Melissa)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-14-22
Great listen!
Loved the book. It’s fun from the start! I was all in with Dustin with his “water” answer until Melissa explained the “air” discussion!!
Loved the way the book is centered on reminding us that every relationship is unique because we are all unique.
You won’t be disappointed!
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- Dustin Albert
- 06-07-22
a motivational talk for your marriage
This book is a motivational talk for your marriage. By sharing honest stories from his own marriage, Dustin sends a clear message that marriage isn't neat and tidy. and definitely doesn't look the same for everyone. And ultimately the key to a successful marriage is having an open mind and finding what works for you. Thank you Dustin and Melissa for your honesty and encouragement to be happy with the person you're with!
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- MS
- 02-16-24
So good
Good stories, told in a funny way. Dustin is one of the best up & coming comedians & I’m so glad he has a book now too.
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- Austin
- 06-09-22
Amazing
This book will give you a new perspective on what "right marriage" should look like and will have you laughing aloud.
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- Nicole W
- 11-03-22
Great light but interesting listen!
Love listening to authors read their own books, almost feels like a performance of it. This was funny, light hearted, but also an encouraging book about marriage and life.
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- B. Galindo
- 06-10-22
Entertaining, genuine & authentic
Dustin’s comedy proves it can be clean, absent in agenda and ride the center aisle and still bring down the house. It is clever, insightful and smart. His podcast with Melissa, Don’t Make Me Come Back There, brings a dimension and depth to Dustin’s brand of comedy that can only be attributed to Melissa, and they are one of the most endearing couples. Now he has a book that if you aren’t already a fan will make you one. While some of the sections made me blush a little - in the same way I don’t want to hear about my own actual brother’s sex life - I finished the book with a sense of camaraderie in faith and parenting and assurance that just because you don’t look like the kind of couple people think makes a successful formula, doesn’t mean you aren’t doing some or most things right for your own marriage.
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- Stacy Burnett
- 06-16-22
Loved this book!
It was funny, honest, and very relatable. I loved it! I also love that the authors read the book.
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- Mindy
- 10-21-24
Funny and non-judgmental
A funny and non-judgmental look at marriage with some good advice sprinkled in. Parts of it had me laughing out loud and parts had me nodding along with it. Dustin is also very clear that this advice is not for every relationship as each one is different. And I loved the little comments added by Melissa. Definitely would recommend.
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- Amanda R.
- 08-30-22
Loved every minute!
I’m not much of a reader and I’ve seen Dustin perform numerous times so I was excited to get the audio version where I could literally hear his words on a page, and also enjoyed Melissa’s part as well. Love this family, their story, and their “unconventional” ways that work for them. The hardest part for me was having to silently laugh as I listened on multiple trains traveling around Japan (where it is frowned upon to be speak or laugh above a whisper). Looking forward to laughing out loud when I share it with my husband.
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- SG Oregon
- 08-30-22
Better than Dickens
As someone who’s read both ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ and THIS book, I can confidently assure you that Dustin’s perspective and humor is far more relatable/ enjoyable / memorable. You’ll laugh, you’ll nod in agreement, and you’ll appreciate this couples dynamic. 5 out of 5 stars, I’ll be recommending this title to friends
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