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A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Susan Burton
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By:
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Susan Burton
About this listen
An editor at This American Life reveals the searing story of the secret binge-eating that dominated her adolescence and shapes her still.
“Her tale of compulsion and healing is candid and powerful.” (People)
Named One of the Best Books of the Year by Marie Claire
For almost 30 years, Susan Burton hid her obsession with food and the secret life of compulsive eating and starving that dominated her adolescence. This is the relentlessly honest, fiercely intelligent story of living with both anorexia and binge-eating disorder, moving past her shame, and learning to tell her secret.
When Burton was 13, her stable life in suburban Michigan was turned upside down by her parents’ abrupt divorce, and she moved to Colorado with her mother and sister. She seized on this move west as an adventure and an opportunity to reinvent herself from middle-school nerd to popular teenage girl. But in the fallout from her parents’ breakup, an inherited fixation on thinness went from “peculiarity to pathology.”
Susan entered into a painful cycle of anorexia and binge eating that formed a subterranean layer to her sunny life. She went from success to success - she went to Yale, scored a dream job at a magazine right out of college, and married her college boyfriend. But in college the compulsive eating got worse - she’d binge, swear it would be the last time, and then, hours later, do it again - and after she graduated she descended into anorexia, her attempt to "quit food".
Binge eating is more prevalent than anorexia or bulimia, but there is less research and little storytelling to help us understand it. In tart, soulful prose Susan Burton strikes a blow for the importance of this kind of narrative and tells an exhilarating story of longing, compulsion and hard-earned self-revelation.
©2020 Susan Burton (P)2020 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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By: Meg Haston
-
Size Zero
- My Life as a Disappearing Model
- By: Victoire Dauxerre
- Narrated by: Emily Lucienne
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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memoir of a brief career as a top model - and a brutally honest account of what goes on behind the scenes in a fascinating closed industry. Scouted in the street when she was 17, Victoire Dauxerre's story started like a teenager's dream: within months she was on the catwalks of New York's major fashion shows and part of the most select circle of in-demand supermodels in the world.
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Self-indulgent twaddle
- By Adeliese Baumann on 05-19-17
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Madness
- A Bipolar Life
- By: Marya Hornbacher
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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When Marya Hornbacher published her first book, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, she did not yet have the piece of shattering knowledge that would finally make sense of the chaos of her life. At age 24, Hornbacher was diagnosed with type I rapid-cycle bipolar, the most severe form of bipolar disorder. In Madness, in her trademark wry and utterly self-revealing voice, Hornbacher tells her new story.
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THANK YOU!!!!!
- By kelly massoni on 10-01-21
By: Marya Hornbacher
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Hungry for Life
- A Memoir Unlocking the Truth Inside an Anorexic Mind
- By: Rachel Richards
- Narrated by: Rachel Richards
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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In this painfully moving memoir, take a firsthand look at anorexia through the eyes of a young girl. Even in kindergarten, Rachel Richards knows something isn't right. By leading us through her distorted thoughts, she shines a light on the experience and mystery of mental illness. As she grows up, unable to comprehend or communicate her inner trauma, Rachel lashes out, hurting herself, running away from home, and fighting her family. Restricting food gives her the control she craves. But after being hospitalized and force-fed, Rachel only retreats further into herself.
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A Gripping Account of Anorexia and Recovery
- By Nephi Ferguson on 10-12-17
By: Rachel Richards
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The Weight of Beautiful
- By: Jackie Goldschneider
- Narrated by: Jackie Goldschneider
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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All Jackie Goldschneider ever wanted was to be thin. As a child, she’d stand in front of the mirror, sucking in her stomach and arching her back to feel her ribs, praying to see a model-like figure looking back. As an obese teen, lonely and tormented by her weight, her doctor encouraged her to start dieting, ultimately leading to a prolonged battle with anorexia that nearly took her life. After decades of hiding her eating disorder from friends, family, and the world, Jackie is ready to expose the realities of her devastating struggle.
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Such great story telling
- By brandi furlong on 11-22-24
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It Was Me All Along
- A Memoir
- By: Andie Mitchell
- Narrated by: Andie Mitchell
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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All her life, Andie Mitchell had eaten lustily and mindlessly. Food was her babysitter, her best friend, her confidant, and it provided a refuge from her fractured family. But when she stepped on the scale on her 20th birthday and it registered a shocking 268 pounds, she knew she had to change the way she thought about food and herself; that her life was at stake.
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Wanted to love this...
- By AndreaJane on 01-16-15
By: Andie Mitchell
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Wintergirls
- By: Laurie Halse Anderson
- Narrated by: Phoebe Strole
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Lia and Cassie are best friends, wintergirls frozen in fragile bodies, competitors in a deadly contest to see who can be the thinnest. But then Cassie suffers the ultimate loss - her life - and Lia is left behind, haunted by her friend's memory and racked with guilt for not being able to help save her.
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entertaining
- By Mora Barrientos on 11-03-19
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Brave Girl Eating
- A Family's Struggle with Anorexia
- By: Harriet Brown
- Narrated by: Harriet Brown
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of families are affected by eating disorders, which usually strike young women between the ages of fourteen and twenty. But current medical practice ties these families' hands when it comes to helping their children recover. Conventional medical wisdom dictates separating the patient from the family and insists that 'it's not about the food', even as a family watches a child waste away before their eyes.
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Very good but...
- By Michael on 02-22-20
By: Harriet Brown
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Dying to Be Thin
- The True Story of My Lifelong Battle Against Anorexia
- By: Nikki Grahame
- Narrated by: Yaz Shah
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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"The figure looking back at me was little more than a skeleton with just a thin layer of tissue paper for skin, drawn over the stick-like bones. I stood staring for a good couple of minutes, considering what I'd become. And my verdict? Brilliant, I thought. It's been worth every moment of all that hard work". Say the name Nikki Grahame and most people will remember the bubbly, highly strung and hugely entertaining Big Brother 7 contestant.
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Not What You Might Think
- By ro_runner on 11-07-15
By: Nikki Grahame
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The Art of Starving
- By: Sam J. Miller
- Narrated by: Tom Phelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Matt hasn't eaten in days. His stomach stabs and twists inside, pleading for a meal, but Matt won't give in. The hunger clears his mind, keeps him sharp - and he needs to be as sharp as possible if he's going to find out just how Tariq and his band of high school bullies drove his sister, Maya, away. Matt's hardworking mom keeps the kitchen crammed with food, but Matt can resist the siren call of casseroles and cookies because he has discovered something: the less he eats the more he seems to have...powers.
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Transformative book!
- By Uno Person on 01-01-20
By: Sam J. Miller
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Damaged Goods
- A Memoir
- By: Shelley Louise
- Narrated by: Jeanne Scurek
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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This is a deeply personal story of a young woman’s journey through addiction; the loss of her child’s father through an overdose, her mother’s suicide, and the tragic consequences that those lifestyle choices bring. At 15, Shelley was submerged into the seedy world of the red-light district of Honolulu. As the warm-up act for the strippers, she became a topless dancer only to discover she was not emotionally prepared for the lewd attention. Pills and heroin helped her to cope with a lifestyle that was beyond her years.
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The best memoir I’ve read in many years.
- By Janeo on 12-13-24
By: Shelley Louise
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Thin Girls
- A Novel
- By: Diana Clarke
- Narrated by: Jayme Mattler
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Rose and Lily Winters are twins, as close as the bond implies; they feel each other’s emotions, taste what the other is feeling. Like most young women, they’ve struggled with their bodies and food since childhood, and high school finds them turning to food - or not - to battle the waves of insecurity and the yearning for popularity. But their connection can be as destructive as it is supportive, a yin to yang. When Rose stops eating, Lily starts - consuming everything Rose won’t or can’t.
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nothing special
- By Drine on 10-11-20
By: Diana Clarke
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The Skinny
- My Messy, Hopeful Fight for Full Recovery from Anorexia
- By: Sheri Segal Glick
- Narrated by: Sheri Segal Glick
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In this powerful memoir, Sheri Segal Glick explores her rough, rocky, rutted road to being in recovery. As a young teenager, Sheri developed anorexia, and has battled the illness for decades. The Skinny explores her journey, from her tumultuous time as a teenager to the disease rearing its ugly head as an adult, with her signature wit, wry humour, and absolute honesty.
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Loved the audible!! Great narration
- By ef on 05-18-24
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Everywhere I Look
- A Memoir
- By: Ona Gritz
- Narrated by: Janet Aldrich
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1982, twenty-five-year-old Angie Boggs, pregnant with her second child, was brutally murdered, along with her husband and infant son. Ill equipped for the horror of that violence and the enormity of her loss, Angie’s sister Ona, a college sophomore, felt numb. She also felt deeply ashamed of her inability to grieve. But shame, like her sister’s absence, was something Ona knew well. For as long as she could remember, she’d felt ashamed of being their parents’ blatantly favored child.
By: Ona Gritz
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An Apple a Day
- A Memoir of Love and Recovery from Anorexia
- By: Emma Woolf
- Narrated by: Emma Woolf
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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I haven't tasted chocolate for over ten years and now I'm walking down the street unwrapping a Kit Kat. Remember when Kate Moss said, 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'? She's wrong: chocolate does. At the age of 32, after ten years of hiding from the truth, Emma Woolf finally decided it was time to face the biggest challenge of her life. Addicted to hunger, exercise and control, she was juggling a full-blown eating disorder with a successful career, functioning on an apple a day.
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A memoir of a silver spoon, maybe.
- By S. covely on 06-05-16
By: Emma Woolf
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How It Feels to Float
- By: Helena Fox
- Narrated by: Candice Moll
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom, and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was seven. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface - normal, okay, regular, fine.
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How it feels to float
- By Tom on 02-21-23
By: Helena Fox
What listeners say about Empty
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- isabella
- 07-11-23
Potently relatable and introspective
It’s wonderful to hear the book from Susan’s own voice. Her honesty with herself and her audience is remarkable.
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- Anne Marlowe
- 03-28-24
I Know Her
I wasn't sure what to expect and found her story deeply satisfying. She wasn't alone and yet, she was. She isn't me and yet, she is.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-29-24
A very good book
I appreciate how elaborate this book is. I completely related to Susan’s way of thinking as a child, both related and unrelated to food, and especially in her perspectives of the tiny details. I thoroughly enjoyed listening and couldn’t put it down. I love that she was able to articulate her battles with food and her body once and for all, and I hope it liberated her rather than fed her illness. I find it only slightly triggering but only in the sense that I have an eating disorder, and I’m reading about a woman’s experience with an eating disorder. It did not trigger me in a way where it fed my illness. It did not offer tips or tricks. It did not cause harm. It was simply a very enjoyable book, that I related with. And would recommend it to others who are able and ready to read a book that was about a woman’s battle with eating disorders.
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- na ty
- 09-17-24
Brutally honest
I'm currently in Spain, enjoying my time here as an for a month. I felt the need for something engaging to immerse myself in. At this stage in my life, I'm open and eager to explore ED which has shaped me from age 15 to now, as I'm in my middle years. Everything she shared resonated deeply with me. I'm truly grateful she chose not to focus on the numbers on the scale because that can be triggering; instead, her honesty, intelligence, and vulnerability were incredibly powerful. Bravo to her!
This book helped me tremendously . I don’t know if I’ll ever be out of the woods. I’ll probably have distorted images of myself and peculiar relationships w/ food. I think the bottom line is her memoir gives me hope.
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- GingerKittyFluff
- 07-02-20
Big thanks Susan!
This book blew my mind. I felt guilty being so far into Susan's head. Thank you again Susan, it was a great listen.
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- Angela Dieckman
- 05-02-21
Superbly written and full of self-reflection
4.5/5: This book really surprised me in a good way. It turned out to be so much more thorough and self-reflective than I expected. Memoirs can tend to be just a telling of a story without much insight. Burton offers a lot of insight and I found that fascinating. She is able to walk you through how a somewhat normal adolescent thought takes on a life of its own and slowly morphs into a fixation and then a compulsion. I felt like I was front row to that progression and while it isn't my experience, I understood it. I also resonated a lot with her disordered relationship with food and came to understand elements in my own life and relationship with food better. I read some criticism that the book felt cold and impersonal. I can see how some might experience it that way, but I think I understood that Burton is in the world of journalism so her style in this book was influenced by that I believe and not a reflection on how she related to her own story. I also felt that the criticisms of not enough focus on the now were unfair - she clearly states she sees a therapist and continues to wrestle with her relationship with food. That is the nature of an addiction - it is an ongoing battle. Overall, I found this book to be superbly written, well thought out, and intensely personal but applicable to so many (myself included).
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- Wendy Raffel
- 03-05-21
“I’m glad I have thin grandchildren.”
I’ve been listening to Susan Burton on This American Life for 20 years. She’s always been a standout producer, her writing is top notch, and I find her precise, nuanced style of speech compelling.
I didn’t know she’d written a book until she guest hosted the 2/19/21 episode of This American Life, Secrets — I bought and devoured it immediately.
Empty is a personal history of Burton’s (and also our) complicated and sometimes destructive relationship with food. And it documents the nature and long term consequences of keeping secrets in a way I so relate to. The story has momentum, and is impeccably edited, like her radio pieces.
Empty is an emotional and moving book, yes, but it’s also filled with wry observations and dark humor. I loved it. 10/10.
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- Regina
- 02-21-21
Life Changing
Susan is not only a great writer, she communicates with complete honesty. This book was powerful. I highly recommend it.
I am looking forward to additional books from Susan Burton - an authentic voice during a difficult time. Thank you Susan!
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- Pam BJ
- 09-09-21
I walked a mile in Susan's shoes
There is a saying and a few songs titled Walk a Mile in My Shoes. I have done this! I spent time listening to Susan's tone. I am glad she read her own book! I considered her situation, tried to understand what happened to make Susan's life like it is. Her issues are not isolated to her world. Many of us have issues that could cripple us emotionally and physically. I know that the longer we hold onto these issues without reaching out for help, they become a part of us that cannot easily be loosed or detached. I am not a psychologist, physician or a counselor. I do have empathy and wish that All who read this book will approach with care and see themselves in some part of Susan's journey!!
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-29-22
It’s like she was in my head
Susan beautifully describes the battle that is ED and how it follows you like a dark snake. Thank you for this and your description. I will also continue my journey to healed.
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