Petition to ban all winter sport in revenge for how bad my everything still hurts rn

Every single part of my body hurts from this spill I took doing my stupid as fuck sport I feel just like james fitzjames in amc’s hit 2018 historical horror miniseries the terror rn

Injuring myself doing sport and immediately texting calling emailing everyone I know and also posting about it because there’s nothing I love more than complaining about something

Running out of jokes to make about this chronic pain flare. who among you is brave enough to come to an alleyway near my house and saw my leg off above the knee

In pain unable to sleep bcos my tendons are giving me so much trouble mindlessly opening different apps and the first thing google photos shows me is a remember this week medley of various pictures I took on the xmas holiday last year of soaking my legs in hot water to ease the exact same chronic pain to send to my granny as an explanation for why I couldn’t come to her event. thanks man

Surviving my tendons trying to kill me again by pretending like it’s 1805 in the english channel and the barb'rous french have just shot me during a pitched naval battle and (and this is key) someone is coming to cut my leg off

Ear pain so bad I understand why cavemen were drilling holes in their heads