User talk:Orian57/Archive17
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Methy/Orian Convo, Archive 17, Convo 1
So, Orian. How are things? Small talk? METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (18:09 08-5-2009)
- Ok. no. Orian57 Talk
18:47 5 August 2009
- I've recently wondered why I've always left a comment on your page. I mean, you can always just leave a comment on my page if you want me to vote on something. What's going on again? METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (16:32 08-6-2009)
- I think you were gonna suck my dick, but perhas that was a nightmare. Orian57 Talk 16:55 6 August 2009
- A nightmare? METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (16:58 08-6-2009)
- Oh yes, because I dreamt I came and then I woke up and I'd come in reality. That's some scary voodoo shit right there. Orian57 Talk 17:01 6 August 2009
- No, according to some thing I read, you got too excited and then was forced out of your sleep. Shit like that happens. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (17:07 08-6-2009)
- Oh yes, because I dreamt I came and then I woke up and I'd come in reality. That's some scary voodoo shit right there. Orian57 Talk
- A nightmare? METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (16:58 08-6-2009)
- I think you were gonna suck my dick, but perhas that was a nightmare. Orian57 Talk
- I've recently wondered why I've always left a comment on your page. I mean, you can always just leave a comment on my page if you want me to vote on something. What's going on again? METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (16:32 08-6-2009)
They are on my system.
Alright I'm using a Cargio 15x Mainframe system conected to an Hp desktop, my interface was and is again horrible. somone is on my system, Cargio Manframes are Hyper fragile, whoever is on my system could make my mainframe kill itself. They only way to get a deleted file back is with Cargio's "resurection" feature. I never use it because you always run the serious risk of jacking up if not killing the whole system. this is my one weakness, what do I do. Do I cut the power, disconnect my whole system from the cable, or just kick the modem untill I break it. I could run Ip scans on all 16 hard dirves, (15 in the mainframe, one in the desktop) but that would take all night. I'm really scared right now. I paid good money from my system.--Enemyatthegates 02:43, 6 August 2009 (UTC)user talk:enemyatthegates
- But who are they? and what do they want? and why are you telling me? I don't how to turn my computer on. Orian57 Talk 02:46 6 August 2009
- I'm terribly sorry if I appear to be rambling. 1.They could be anybody, you can't tell a name from an IP adress, 2.they want to act like an idiot; they used my mainframe to resurect a deleted video and used my email to send it to me with a rather funny quote from monty Python. I have no idea what they are doing now, or if they are even still on my system. I would like really somebody to search the entire domain for any traces of the video they resurected. because if someone from this domain resurected it, they might have uploaded it. Like I said I'm REALLY scared right now. If they were to kill my system, I'd have to pay 1000$ apeice to send off the mainframe's hard drives to have them reconfigured, and it'd be another bloody 2500$ to replace them. Please, if you cant do it, direct me to somone who can. I need the comfort and conformation.--Enemyatthegates 03:08, 6 August 2009 (UTC) talk
The Zombie Diaries
Evening Orian. I took a look at the article you are currently building and I liked it. I think it's a good concept and you write well with the style. I would be very interested to see what you can do with the article. There are a few problems with it as it stands but I will wait until you have finished writing it to talk about those, if they still exist. Bottom lin, it's good as it stands and I suspect you will make it even better as you progress. Big thumbs up from me, it has the makings of something mega. --ChiefjusticeDS 07:13, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
Kisses
XXX Pup
- Thats a bit gay isn't it? Orian57 Talk 11:04 6 August 2009
- Ummm... maybe, but so am I. Pup
- Really! that's awsome, why didn't say anything earlier!? Hey we could start up FotM again, I'll beat your ass though. And you'll like it too won't you, you little slutty puppy? Oh my god you'll be in the paper too! Orian57 Talk 11:10 6 August 2009
- Of course you would, and of course I would. The fact that my partner is female knocks me out of the running for FotM. The fact that a couple of previous partners have been male just stops me being HotM. Of course, if there was a BotM, I'd be bottom... Pup
- Oh. Right. well this isn't news. You're bassically being all like "oh look at me! I fuck men in my spare time - look how liberal I am. Guys look! Look at me! LOOK!" (No but seriously? That's cool, I'm just pretending to be against you flip-flopping bisexuals because there's humour value.) Orian57 Talk 11:27 6 August 2009
- I didn't think it was very funny. I thought it was okay, however. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (16:57 08-6-2009)
- Are we making a database of everyone's sexual orientation now? --Mn-z 16:58, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
- Yes on reflection I could have been less of an ass. We guys still friends? Orian57 Talk 16:59 6 August 2009
- Probably. I don't know. Yes. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (17:00 08-6-2009)
- Thinking about it, I don't think I can be friends with someone who advertises their sexual deviations to get attention. --Mn-z 17:08, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
- Oh hey it's the preggo freak. Lets kick him! Orian57 Talk 17:10 6 August 2009
- But I don't want to kick someone who's name is Mnbvcxz! it took me less than a second to write mnbvcxz METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (17:15 08-6-2009)
- A database of sexual orientation on Uncyclopedia - I'm sure that would be a listing of normal, sensible individuals... Pup
- But I don't want to kick someone who's name is Mnbvcxz! it took me less than a second to write mnbvcxz METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (17:15 08-6-2009)
- Oh hey it's the preggo freak. Lets kick him! Orian57 Talk
- Thinking about it, I don't think I can be friends with someone who advertises their sexual deviations to get attention. --Mn-z 17:08, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
- Probably. I don't know. Yes. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (17:00 08-6-2009)
- Yes on reflection I could have been less of an ass. We guys still friends? Orian57 Talk
- Are we making a database of everyone's sexual orientation now? --Mn-z 16:58, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
- I didn't think it was very funny. I thought it was okay, however. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (16:57 08-6-2009)
- Oh. Right. well this isn't news. You're bassically being all like "oh look at me! I fuck men in my spare time - look how liberal I am. Guys look! Look at me! LOOK!" (No but seriously? That's cool, I'm just pretending to be against you flip-flopping bisexuals because there's humour value.) Orian57 Talk
- Of course you would, and of course I would. The fact that my partner is female knocks me out of the running for FotM. The fact that a couple of previous partners have been male just stops me being HotM. Of course, if there was a BotM, I'd be bottom... Pup
- Really! that's awsome, why didn't say anything earlier!? Hey we could start up FotM again, I'll beat your ass though. And you'll like it too won't you, you little slutty puppy? Oh my god you'll be in the paper too! Orian57 Talk
- Ummm... maybe, but so am I. Pup
Things I hate.
1. Being a bloody computer geinus!!! 2.LOOK A STREAKER!
Hissy Tantrum--Enemyatthegates 17:16, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
- I see, also could you please put the link to your talk page before your datestamp. You can sort out the sig if you read UN:SIG Orian57 Talk 17:18 6 August 2009
- You should also remove the picture stat. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (17:19 08-6-2009)
- No because it's Lion King - with guns! Orian57 Talk 17:30 6 August 2009
- Any better? Hissy Tantrum--Enemyatthegates 20:00, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
- No because it's Lion King - with guns! Orian57 Talk
- You should also remove the picture stat. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (17:19 08-6-2009)
Things Orian hates.
Adverbs, apparently. I know. He implausibly, angrily, unmercifully, distastefully, horridly, surprisingly, randomly, fatally, cruelly, simply detests them. Lol. Anyways, this is my way of saying bye. I'm off for a week. Yay! Nameable • mumble? 21:41, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
My Sig.
does this work? --Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 01:54, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
- I do believe the font is too big.
And, you have an unclosed tag (or closed the tag in the wrong order) that will screw up any text after your sig (obviously).I went ahead and closed the division so your sig doesn't foul up pages, but I do believe the font isn't allowed to be more than 12 px high. --Mn-z 05:26, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
Reduced to 12. Pt. don't tell me it still wont work.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 14:54, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
- Right I undid your edit just now because you removed messages. which is illegal. Don't do it. and now you've got a sig that absorbs text into it. So we have to sort that. but 12px should be fine, so long as you don't have it over more than one line. Orian57 Talk 15:33 7 August 2009
- No comment logging off.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 16:04, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
3:00 News.
I am home under protective gaurd for the next week after an incident at the vet's office. at 11:57 A.M. I was called out to the Vet to witness ny childhhod dog being put to sleep. It took 3 off duty SWAT to keep me from asaulting the vet staff. After the injection they let go, I reared around and decked one in the face plus pinned him to the wall. I was taken to the station and charged with assault, but under the circustances in which I attacked, I'm under house arrest and protective gaurd insted of a ankle band. I won't be logging on for a while after this.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 20:08, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
- Er. Ok. sorry to hear that. Orian57 Talk 20:11 7 August 2009
- I was shown the security fotage from the execution room just now, when they were holding me back I was using four letter words in combinations and contexts even sailors aren't allowed to use them in. I loled. I even made up a word; "Pojuengle" in the contet I used it in, it ment; to violently give a haircut. Then when I struck the SWAT I called him a "Turdburger". --Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 20:50, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
For tonight.
I'm going to take a sleeping pill now, later.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 23:55, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
Enough's enough.
enough being serious,I'll be back to acting like eveyrone else on here by tomorow.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 02:13, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- Oh ok. Also try not to make a new header for every little thing. But yeah, sorry to hear you've got stuff happening. Hope it all works out. Orian57 Talk 03:59 8 August 2009
- I got an early start, one of my gaurds is taking a shower, I just covered his whole uniform in Itching powder. :D --Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 13:40, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- That's pretty evil that is. Orian57 Talk 13:48 8 August 2009
- I'm going to put everclear into the other's orange juice.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 13:56, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- Here is what is going to happen now, I spiked the pitcher of iced tea with 7 CC's of everclear and both the gaurds are passed out drunk in my living room. I'm now going to confiscate their handguns and bury them in my yard, then I'm going to replace them with spray pained cap guns. I'll also confiscate their handcuffs and replace those with plastic hancuffs. They had no idea that they would shortly be getting more than protective gaurd detail.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 19:05, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- That is a little bit illegal, I'd imagine. but yeah. Good luck. Orian57 Talk 18:55 8 August 2009
- I'm going to throw the toaster from my kitchen across the living room into the glass doors of the fireplace to see if they wake up.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 19:06, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- You're documenting all this, right. I plan on writing an article, Things to do under protective gaurd.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 19:15, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- Have you ever put bullets in the oven or microwave, or seen a video of it? I think they might go off if put into the oven. I'm up to no good, and will be up to no good for the next five days. (How much time I have left)--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 19:29, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- I put a swastika armband on one of my gaurds, plus gave him new ID papers; Name: Lt. Fabricated Cunt, Rank: Sex Duty, and some other garbage. He has failed to even notice the armband he's so hungover.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 22:51, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- The gaurds had Barbeque delivered to my house, they paid for it. The claim was "We had a good time at the party yesterday". I'm effing speechless, they were dead serious, no trap. --Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 20:57, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
- I put a swastika armband on one of my gaurds, plus gave him new ID papers; Name: Lt. Fabricated Cunt, Rank: Sex Duty, and some other garbage. He has failed to even notice the armband he's so hungover.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 22:51, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- Have you ever put bullets in the oven or microwave, or seen a video of it? I think they might go off if put into the oven. I'm up to no good, and will be up to no good for the next five days. (How much time I have left)--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 19:29, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- You're documenting all this, right. I plan on writing an article, Things to do under protective gaurd.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 19:15, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- I'm going to throw the toaster from my kitchen across the living room into the glass doors of the fireplace to see if they wake up.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 19:06, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- That is a little bit illegal, I'd imagine. but yeah. Good luck. Orian57 Talk
- Here is what is going to happen now, I spiked the pitcher of iced tea with 7 CC's of everclear and both the gaurds are passed out drunk in my living room. I'm now going to confiscate their handguns and bury them in my yard, then I'm going to replace them with spray pained cap guns. I'll also confiscate their handcuffs and replace those with plastic hancuffs. They had no idea that they would shortly be getting more than protective gaurd detail.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 19:05, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- I'm going to put everclear into the other's orange juice.--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 13:56, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- That's pretty evil that is. Orian57 Talk
- I got an early start, one of my gaurds is taking a shower, I just covered his whole uniform in Itching powder. :D --Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 13:40, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
Would you like the shirt off my back too?
Faggot! (just kidding) -- emaciated Ape (cogitate) (Riot Porn) 18:35, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
- Do I get to watch you taking it off? Better, could I take it off for you? Orian57 Talk 18:38 8 August 2009
- Hairy back? Pup
- You can have the shirt off my back! It's crap and has a rip in it. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:58, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
- Those trousers look a bit tatty too, Big Boy. Orian57 Talk 21:59 9 August 2009
- Well, now you mention it.... --ChiefjusticeDS 07:44, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
- Those trousers look a bit tatty too, Big Boy. Orian57 Talk
- You can have the shirt off my back! It's crap and has a rip in it. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:58, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
- Hairy back? Pup
UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!!
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
August 6th, 2009 • Issue 59 • Painfully Extracting Nuggets of Truth from the Teeth of the News!
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Uncyclopedia Triples Ad Revenue; Users Line Up For Paychecks  This week, Uncyclopedia's benign evil overlords, Wikia, shuffled the advertising layout on our fine website. Previously, the left sidebar contained just one Wikia spotlight. These spotlights are not advertisements as much as they are a way to whore Wikia and increase its position in some sort of Google rankings, since the links from the banner ads go from Wikia-hosted Uncyclopedia to Google and back to Wikia-hosted wikis on such relevant topics to users who are on a satire wiki as the Burnout Wiki and the Harry Potter wiki. These Google rankings are actually a series of thousands of monkeys at Google headquarters, who move beads around on giant abaci based on search engine hits. Users who click these cleverly disguised and probably illegal "double-switch" ads cause the monkeys to alter the beads in Wikia's favor. However, in recent days this Wikia spotlight was moved to the bottom of each page rather than the sidebar and multiplied by three. A cursory look at any of the wikis linked in these spotlights results in a brutal assault of the senses, as they are all swimming in banner advertisements, sidebar advertisements, advertisements in the content, and links to highly useful Wikia features such as Wikianswers. While the increased number of spotlights on Uncyclopedia has not directly resulted in any cash flow, the increased Google bead rating has indeed caused Wikia stock to jump by six beads (the stock market is also organized using giant abaci, only it is operated by goats rather than monkeys). Wikia has decided to share credit for this jump in value with the users of Uncyclopedia, and all users will be receiving checks for equal amounts next Tuesday. The line forms behind Olipro, wherever he happens to be on Tuesday when the stock market goats arbitrarily decide to stop working for the day. A Hell of a Time at the Village Dump
 Recently in the forums, BHOP's activity has arguably skyrocketed. An IP has started a new rhyming craze, and the cheesy, crunchy snack food CheddarBBQ has revived many topics that were getting rather aged, such as Fantasy Football, a Shakira-esque topic, and even his own birthday's topic. Back on BHOP, fruity user Neox's random storytelling and serious user YouKnowWhatTheMusicMeans' serious, dramatic storytelling have made Forum:Who HATES MochiAds? 2's story a complete, random mess. Also, Optimuschris and Modusoperandi have been having one hell of a time discussing the much-anticipated failing of the new G.I. Joe movie. Finally, users have a had a heated battle over whether to ban the Abstain feature on VFH, which is ending up as off-topic and random as an episode of Lost. Are there any cool discussions going on? That's the forum news in your area, now here's Mr. G with the weather, only on |
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Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:27, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
Gee, thanks.
I thought you cared. You expressed such interest in my article, but the moment I make a request on its talk page, suddenly you're nowhere to be seen. Prick. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:34, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
- Yeah thats because you asked me to do something. I'm terrible at doing shit. I will have a proper look tommorow when I'm more awake though. Sorry. :S Orian57 Talk 02:39 11 August 2009
- Oh. So now you're making excuses. I see how it is. I guess I'll take my balloons and lollipops and be on my way. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:54, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are!
The Newspaper that just got hijacked by Woody and Ape. Mwhahahaha!
Date August 13th, 2009 • Issue 60 • Taking the News, Making it Better
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UnSignpost Editor Disappears; UnSignpost Suffers Mysterious Drop in Quality August 10, 2009 - a date which will live in infamy. Gerrycheevers, the UnSignpost's handsome, talented, and, often times, only editor announced his leave of absence in order to head west, and make a name for himself. In an UnSignpost Exclusive, Gerry talked at length about his final destination and the exciting journey he expects. "[I'll be heading to] north dakota. [I reckon I'll take the famous Oregon Trail, driving a horse and buggy, herding cattle, planting seeds of injustice wherever I may.]" How long this move out west will take is unknown by all but our best psychics, and since Gerry has them trained to bite anyone who come near, we'll go with Gerry's approximate date of August 21. If all of our readers miss Gerry (and we have a feeling that, one paragraph in, you already do), please drop him a line. Tell him how much he is missed. Tell him that if he ever leaves again, we won't be so forgiving. Just tell him something. We don't want to have to do this without him again. In an unrelated note, the UnSignpost - usually a shining example of grammatical correctness, good spelling, and hilarity - seems to have hit a drop in quality for this week's issue. The reasons for these changes seem to be a mystery to everyone. As far as we can tell, the problems that have arisen are completely arbitrary. The reasons for this change in quality have been the talk of the community this week. Some have suggested the recent meteor shower has caused an influx of gamma radiation into our atmosphere, creating a negative energy all over the Earth, and thus causing our writing abilities to falter. Under User stupidly blamed all of this on the change in editors, saying "Good to see we're keeping the time-honoured Signpost tradition of the revolving door to the editor's office alive and well. Although now Woody's in there, that should probably be a 'revolting' door." Bastard. Uncyclopedian creates Trivia Bot, ruins everything
EMC let loose his bot on the nerds, perverts and middle-aged alcoholics of #uncyclopedia, leading to even less constructive conversation then usual. Instead, the channel is mostly filled with dozens of people shouting random words in the hopes of being awarded meaningless points. Some, however, have pointed out that the only real difference between this and the way things were before is the awarding of points. Not content with destroying one channel, however, EMC subsequently decided to bring his bot to ##turtle,the exciting new channel with the dubious honour of being "the BHOP of IRC" (but with less Bad Shroom), which also served as a staging post for a recent troll invasion of Yahoo! Answers. EMC was unavailable for comment when I was throwing this piece together in five minutes. He is presumed to be sitting in a cave somewhere stroking his large red crayon and laughing dementedly. New Editors Have Trouble Matching up Left and Right Sides In a startling development, the newest editors of the UnSignpost are proving to be quite inept at lining up the left and right sides of Post's template. It seems that our penchant for placing more and more boxes on the right side of the page has defeated the natural aesthetic of the Post's two-even-sides strategy. While this is a problem, it does seem to be fixable. Namely, by adding this headline and story. Is this just an obvious cry for help, that we are unable to do this without Gerry? Probably. But since our hostile takeover has proven quite |
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Hey!
It's been awhile! How've you been holding up? Anything new? Tagstit talk contribs awards 07:33, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
- Not much at all. Not IRL certainly and not so much on Uncyc, except for the features I got last month (three on concecutive days, one of which is the top article of July). so far august hasn't been as productive. Orian57 Talk 07:50 19 August 2009
- Hmmm...very good. I got a few things in the works, all of which I am not too sure about. Like Why?:Get the iPhone, The Legend of Zelda, and Potato Sack Racing, if you wanna give me your opinion. =). Not too sure bout the first two though. Tagstit talk contribs awards 09:15, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
Leaving Uncyc, I guess.
As far as I know, I've been too busy with things. Too many things. So many things that not even going to jail for some stupid shit would not stop me from doing those things. Those kinds of things. I'll still nom you for WotY in January, but overall, I won't be doing anything spectacular... not that my presence here was any spectacular anyways. So yeah, goodbye and all that,
~Methy.
The time of this doing of stuff was 20:56, 19 August 2009 (UTC).
P.S. -- I also think Uncyc itself wasn't as popular as it was last year, too. Or something.
- Aw, shit, dude. I'm gonna miss you. :( Orian57 Talk 21:16 19 August 2009
- Well, my time has come and stuff. It's not like I'm leaving forever or something. I bet 50 pounds I'll be back in a few months. I'll just be here today and tommorow, then I got the shit to do. Also, you can have all my stuff. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (21:18 08-19-2009)
- Oh yay! I'll have a poke around see if there's anything I actually want. But yeah, I hope the shit goes ok and stuff. Orian57 Talk 21:23 19 August 2009
- Yeah. So now I have to go to my friend's place (He has a house and doesn't have to pay part of the rent >:( all jealous 'n' shit) so we can cuddle or something later. Okay? METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (21:29 08-19-2009)
- We're gonna miss you Methy, we're gonna miss you 'round here. We're gonna miss you Methy, we're singin' this through our tears. How're we ever gonna get along without you for a few, few, months? It's gonna be a long, long tiiiiime. If you don't get the reference I'll be all sad... 'n' shit. ~ (21:34 08-19-2009) 21:34, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
- Yeah. So now I have to go to my friend's place (He has a house and doesn't have to pay part of the rent >:( all jealous 'n' shit) so we can cuddle or something later. Okay? METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (21:29 08-19-2009)
- Oh yay! I'll have a poke around see if there's anything I actually want. But yeah, I hope the shit goes ok and stuff. Orian57 Talk
- Well, my time has come and stuff. It's not like I'm leaving forever or something. I bet 50 pounds I'll be back in a few months. I'll just be here today and tommorow, then I got the shit to do. Also, you can have all my stuff. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (21:18 08-19-2009)
you'll be glad to know
My son came out of the closet today! :D Pup
Edit #2,101
As I haven't talked about edit count for a while, and it was an edit related to cock. So it's good to see that I'm not losing my class. PS: shame about Freddie leaving, but what a match to leave on... Pup
- This is my 19,416th edit :) --Mn-z 00:11, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
- I'm going to get sick of notching the edge of the desk whenever I make an edit. You must have almost no desk left! Pup
- And on a totally unrelated note, I found this image to balance out that one creepy cat image. --Mn-z 05:03, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
- Whose Freddie... Are you sure you're not Welsh? Pup
- I'm going to get sick of notching the edge of the desk whenever I make an edit. You must have almost no desk left! Pup
So,...
...how's the novel coming? Just curious is all. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:44, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
- Just started chapter four. I've had no internet for the past day and it's surprising how much I got done, really. And I did spend a month or two planning (which I'm now rapidly loosing sight of). Orian57 Talk 08:58 23 August 2009
- I see. At any point when you feel comfortable in doing so, could you either post some of it here or send me some via email? Again, just curious. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:47, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!
The Newspaper that WILL win Zombiebaron back, damn it.
Date August 20th, 2009 • Issue 61 • Where no news is normal news
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Fantasy Football Draft Finished  After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglorious Bastards later tonight." The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment. New UnSignpost Editor already having trouble filling up space; Falls upon pointless gimmicks, self-references, long article titles to fill void  In a move that has surprised literally 0% of the Uncyclopedia UnSignpost community, the newest UnSignpost editor has already hit a wall in trying to think up new articles for the post. Well, that's not actually true. First he wrote a story trying to beg Zombiebaron to re-subscribe for the post. Then he actually looked at Zombiebaron's userpage to find out that he was actually leaving the site. Needless to say, the presses were called back, and more writing had to be done. Namely, this. Now, we at the post already know what you are thinking. But, since putting those things into print is outlawed in 36 states, two Canadian provinces, and all of Lithuania, we will instead reference the fact that there have been an awful lot of self-referencing in the UnSignpost lately. For that we are truly sorry. Also, we are sorry for self-referencing our own self-referencing. It is truly a problem that continues to build upon itself. We hope to soon continue with the top notch reporting that is so often found in our hallowed archives. Such as the time we wrote about Spang's village dump conquests, or the time we self-referenced how the UnSignpost's lovable mascot, "Dognewspaper" had not been in the Unsignpost for over nine months. Or that time we wrote about the Fantasy Football Draft being finished. Yes, all of those times were good. And we plan - nae, promise - to, in the very near future, continue bringing those kinds of articles to your doorstep. That is, if you don't mind finding a bit of drool upon it. |
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I will cut you open like a fish
You just removed this from the poodle article and I believe that you are right, it's a bit too much. The quote, however, is from "The Soloist", a great movie, and sounds rather cool at the point it is said.
Could you try to work it in elsewhere for me? It seems you have a better understanding where to place these things. -- Paniq 10:57, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
- I can't say I've heard of that movie, might check it out though. As for the article, I'm more or less of the opinion that featured articles should stay the way they are. Esspecially this one where so much of the funny hangs on the tone. Feel free to edit elsewhere though. In fact I hope you stick around, have fun. Orian57 Talk 11:06 26 August 2009
- Oops. Didn't know it was featured. Stumbled upon the page. Decided to resume my humorist writing career on Uncyclopedia. Right now (and judging by the illustration on top of this page you do, too) I suck. Could still help to stick around and try to work out how to be funny in written words. I tried the introductory guide, but it's not funny. --Paniq 11:11, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
- Actually, that image has been changed by somebody. It used to have the name Mohammud in English and Arabic pointing to the face. Now it doesn't. And besides it's says I'm sucking you. Orian57 Talk 11:13 26 August 2009
- Right, that's what I said. I like the picture, it's mildly confusing. --Paniq 11:17, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
- Hmm. I'm confused. I don't like it the way it is now, makes me look gay. Orian57 Talk 11:19 26 August 2009
- No no, it's perfectly fine! It emphasizes hospitality. --Paniq 11:21, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
- Exactly! People will expect me wear an apron, have a southern accent and bake pie all day. I don't know how to backe pie. Orian57 Talk 11:23 26 August 2009
- Just wear the apron around the kitchen and have flour on your forehead. In fact, if you wear the apron and nothing else, nobody will even think about the pie! Pup
- Exactly! People will expect me wear an apron, have a southern accent and bake pie all day. I don't know how to backe pie. Orian57 Talk
- No no, it's perfectly fine! It emphasizes hospitality. --Paniq 11:21, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
- Hmm. I'm confused. I don't like it the way it is now, makes me look gay. Orian57 Talk
- Right, that's what I said. I like the picture, it's mildly confusing. --Paniq 11:17, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
- Actually, that image has been changed by somebody. It used to have the name Mohammud in English and Arabic pointing to the face. Now it doesn't. And besides it's says I'm sucking you. Orian57 Talk
- Oops. Didn't know it was featured. Stumbled upon the page. Decided to resume my humorist writing career on Uncyclopedia. Right now (and judging by the illustration on top of this page you do, too) I suck. Could still help to stick around and try to work out how to be funny in written words. I tried the introductory guide, but it's not funny. --Paniq 11:11, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
What you see is what your mother get
Haya boy ! Am french. And, consequently, a baddass in english. BUT (yes, there's a "but", otherwise it wouldn't be funny he ?), I'm on uncyclopedia, trying to translate from english to french, and from french to english (admin from Désencyclopédie, the french version of Un, will rape my fish if I don't work for them. Stupids. It's a boy, ahah. Ahem).
As I told you, I'm not very good in english. So, I'm gonna try to translate some of my french articles, and YOU, yeah, YOU, will have the extreme pleasure to correct it. In exchange, you'll receive 50% of my wealth, and I'll send you the least beautiful girls that want to sleep with me.
You lucky boy, you know. Remember that I love you. Like Jesus.
Akromax 11:50, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
- /Me raises hands in surrender/ Ok! Christ I'll do whatever you want! Just don't hurt me. I must say though that I'm pretty rubbish when it comes to spelling. Orian57 Talk 12:03 26 August 2009
- Can I have the girls if you're not using them? Pup
- Can I have the men you're not using? Orian57 Talk 22:47 26 August 2009
- I'm not very good at sharing... at least not good at sharing things that are mine - I'm really good at sharing other people's things! Pup
- "Sharing other people's things ?" Are you a communist ? Do you often eat children ? Akromax 12:30, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
- Ummm, the first is a statement so I don't know how to answer... in fact it was my statement. The second and third are both no. But thank you for the valid input! Pup
- NON-CONSTRUCTIVE INPUT TO THE CONVERSATION BUT I DO SO ANYWAYS COS I'M LONELY :O Hi, Orian :) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:15, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- NON-CONSTRUCTIVE RESPONSE TO NON-CONSTRUCTIVE INTERJECTION Pup
- Easy sons. Remember that I'm french, so mentally limited. Akromax 10:20, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- GASP :O hello french guy! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:58, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
- Easy sons. Remember that I'm french, so mentally limited. Akromax 10:20, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- NON-CONSTRUCTIVE RESPONSE TO NON-CONSTRUCTIVE INTERJECTION Pup
- NON-CONSTRUCTIVE INPUT TO THE CONVERSATION BUT I DO SO ANYWAYS COS I'M LONELY :O Hi, Orian :) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:15, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- Ummm, the first is a statement so I don't know how to answer... in fact it was my statement. The second and third are both no. But thank you for the valid input! Pup
- "Sharing other people's things ?" Are you a communist ? Do you often eat children ? Akromax 12:30, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
- I'm not very good at sharing... at least not good at sharing things that are mine - I'm really good at sharing other people's things! Pup
- Can I have the men you're not using? Orian57 Talk
- Can I have the girls if you're not using them? Pup
- Ignoring the irrelevancy and returning to the original topic. What do you think of translating this article? Would it work over there in France? Orian57 Talk 09:32 29 August 2009
- Don't think it would work. We have not the same kind of humour. Sorry. Maybe next time... Ahem, but what am I saying ?! Of course I'm gonna try. Eitherway, I'm advancing very slowly on french articles... Guess you'll have approximately 50-60 gramatical mistakes... Akromax 13:52, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
Also, I finished my article. Put it there User:Akromax/Stammer. I saw there was already an article for Stutter. Damn. I should have gone to church more often... Anyway, if you can take a look and correct it, pleeeeeeeease. Akromax 13:50, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
YER SUN SEZ HI!
Sorry i couldn't talk to you, I was on vacation at Lake Tahoe and forgot to put that template on my userpage. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 04:51, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
- It's probably a bad thing that I never even noticed... Orian57 Talk 08:42 2 September 2009
- That's fine... and you are again? Pup
UnSignpost 4th September
The newspaper that missed an issue and no-one even noticed.
Date September something-or-other, 2009 • Issue 63 • Nobody reads this bit anyway
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Left alone to write the entire UnSignpost, Ape delivers sub-par, mostly self-referential issue "What happened to the signpost?" was the question on literally nobody's lips this week, as Uncyclopedia's favourite newspaper which everyone loves to read but no-one can be bothered to write for took another step on the long slow descent to obscurity. However, our intrepid hero, i.e. me, soon discovered the enormity of the task that lay ahead of him. Boxes had to be filled, interesting and thought-provoking forums had to be discovered and linked to, block logs had to be accessed and trawled for witty comments (unsuccessfully, as it turned out) and this article and presumably another one below it had to be written. "I never thought it could be this hard," Ape told himself, with sexual innuendo very much intended. "How did Gerrycheevers keep finding stuff to write about? There doesn't really seem to be much happening around here. I mean, I could start whoring my newest articles under the flimsy guise of self-referential irony, but that would be shit really. Who wants to see that? Nobody, that's who." However, in the absence of anything funny or clever to say, our hero, (who is gradually being revealed to be more of an anti-hero, like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, except with no sense of style) proceeded to do exactly that, shamelessly whoring two articles (which, if anything, evince his decline as a comedy writer), eliciting a universal chorus of groans and boos from all who had the misfortune to read it. An appeal to the Uncyclopedia community Seriously guys, if you don't want any more shitty issues like this I'm going to need help, or else the signpost is going to die like all the other well-intentioned projects that nobody bothers with. What we need is:
Thank you for your time. |
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-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:43, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
ARGH!
I'm at work after having only had about two hours sleep last night and I' have to pretend that I'm awake and alert for the day, and I have absolutely no motivation left. Tell me a story involving magical animals, please! Pup
- once upon a time, a magical sea dragon fucked a magical flying hippo and chuck norris was born.. Enjoy! Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool
23:03 September 6 '09 - Oh yay a challenge! I shall do my best, unlike that turd above me. Orian57 Talk 00:34 7 September 2009
Once upon a time there was a unicorn named Frank. Frank, who was also a unicorn, lived outside the men's bathroom. Frank had not always lived there; he used to live in Spangle Forest but he had never felt truly welcome there. All of the other unicorns laughed at him because of the checked flannel shirt he wore and the fact that he was, well, rather rotund (which means fat).
- So one day Frank decided to run away from Spangle Forest and follow his dream of taking away the civil liberties of all those fascist cunts that that had bullied him throughout his childhood in Spangle Forest.
After leaving the house where his fathers had raised him he left for Cinderblock City, which was in the Deep South, just west of the sixties. Here frank found that none of the bars were open before or after ten, and all the other unicorns that went to them wore shirts that were either cleaner or dirtier than his and they all shared the same tortured soul.
- Frank (who is still a unicorn) liked it very much in Cinderblock City and rented the stable above Perpendicular, his favourite bar. Much to his convenience he also got a job in that same bar. Everything was going fabulously.
And then it wasn’t. One day, when Frank had been instructed to clean the toilets, he came across two other unicorns hoofing each other and laughing (and screaming and squealing) about how Frank always worse the same shirt. This made frank angry and so he burnt them in the centre of Cinderblock City. Then the fire spread out of control and all of Cinderblock City caught fire and was destroyed. It didn’t end there though, Spangle Forest also caught fire and because of it’s dry sense of humour it too burned to the ground.
- Frank was left alone and depressed to wander the baron and desolate wasteland he had created forever.
- I kinda lost it towards the end there but, yeah. Magical. I should put this in nurseries. Orian57 Talk 00:34 7 September 2009
- die Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 01:30 September 7 '09
- I shall. Also I haven't seen you about much, is that because I haven't been here or did you fuck off too? Orian57 Talk 01:32 7 September 2009
- oh, i had to fuck off, too.. life's harsh, you know Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 01:43 September 7 '09
- Sorry to hear about the harshness. I was only not around because of internet trouble and Fallout 3. Orian57 Talk 01:49 7 September 2009
- is it for pc? i dont own a console and from what i've heard its a pretty cool game Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 01:54 September 7 '09
- I've got it for the 360 but I think it's on PC too and yes it's awsome. Orian57 Talk 01:56 7 September 2009
- i'm ready to sell my mother to get modern warfare 2... And i dont like consoles because i cant play shooters with analouges, i've been playing them with a mouse for 11 years Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 02:07 September 7 '09
- But... did Frank ever find happiness? Pup
- i'm ready to sell my mother to get modern warfare 2... And i dont like consoles because i cant play shooters with analouges, i've been playing them with a mouse for 11 years Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool
- I've got it for the 360 but I think it's on PC too and yes it's awsome. Orian57 Talk
- is it for pc? i dont own a console and from what i've heard its a pretty cool game Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool
- I am unrelated in this conversation, but will butt in to say that Fallout 3 kicks ass big time. I own it for the xbox 360 and am very sad that college is cutting into the time I get for that game :( -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 04:39, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
- Sorry to hear about the harshness. I was only not around because of internet trouble and Fallout 3. Orian57 Talk
- oh, i had to fuck off, too.. life's harsh, you know Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool
- I shall. Also I haven't seen you about much, is that because I haven't been here or did you fuck off too? Orian57 Talk
- die Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool
A better story
Once there was a big fat ugly drooling retarded magic hippo that couldn't chew with his mouth closed.
The end.
Reading is hard (as is writing). Looking at silly animals is easy (as is sporking images from flickr). --Mn-z 03:22, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost Randomber 27th
The only newspaper that Codeine's mum has randomized
Date August 27th, 2009: THE RANDOM ISSUE • Issue 62 • Because the truth is not random enough
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Random Headline
 == Summary == At 11:39 PM, delicious pies ablated a tuxedo. While bollocks was suffocating, magma suddenly deceived. Never stand between a dog and a fire hydrant! Lu Bu cruises railing! Pixie mystifies a rake! SWIMMING POOL' MORGAN TSVANGIRAI'! In a few words, slug mystifies spoons! Did the bouncer sacrifice...
All things considered, father doom high-powered laser rifles yotz Planetouched very large occasionally iris deconstructing halberds pus spaghetti fork Acacia Mawditt fissile uranium samples Chris Woods December Agnostic coach Vince McMahon. lmao!!11!one Babe Ruth was a total Bitch! Look, I'm not saying he wasn't good at baseball! I'm not trying to destroy your great baseball heroes. But let's not kid ourselves here. Babe Ruth was a complete and total bitch. Come on. He couldn't catch the ball. And he whined at the umpires when people called him fat (even though he totally was). And he always talked about how much his feelings were hurt by people trying to buy him a beer. Signpost Has Gone Officially Bat fuck Insane
Due to frequent lack of interest and excitement, this UnSignpost issue has now gone totally insa-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Genital wart in the left politician! BOMB IRAN! HEIL CAJEK! 10:26 AM. Spanish Inquisition. |
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Then again, please think of the a tube hailstones! —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:13, 7 September 2009 (UTC)
Zombie Diaries
You got it deleted? Um, I really liked some of that stuff. Could I get a copy of it for in my userspace? Maybe I'll finish it for you, eventually. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:39, 7 September 2009
- Sure, talk to UU. Look foreward to seeing what you can do with it, I just got caught in a rut with it. Orian57 Talk 22:36 7 September 2009
Leaving Uncyc, I guess.
Uh uh. So, cya! It's been fun, but...just got too much stuff to do in, you know, the real world. I might pop back from time to time, but probs won't. Anyway, wrote this on here, to tell you to keep going with UnBooks:Daddy's New Wife - Philip! I'm sure with your skills you can make it into a feature. Nameable • mumble? 19:37, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
- Oh D: That's sad to here, you're awsome. Hope you get the stuff done. And yeah I might seriously revamp/re-write that, if you don't mind. Hope you come back sometime! Orian57 Talk 22:39 7 September 2009
Good news, everyone!
Good news! My brother got a 30-day ban at some website, so he has decided to return to his life, so that I can escape from mine! But you know that in October, my IRL status will go back to full speed. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (23:08 09-7-2009)
- Sure, you enjoy these 4 remaining weeks with your... insert relationship here, asshole. ~ (23:14 09-7-2009)
For the record
English isn't my first language and you're lazy. I hope that doesn't make you sad. ~
21:28, September 12, 2009 (UTC)