User:SysRq/2

Status: ~~Retarded~~ Retired; IRC?: No; Currently: Going back to bed. Wake me up next year, Chris you bastard.
Responding: No; Last updated: 06:35, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

“I seem to like ice cream.”
~ Fnoodle on finding one's self

Aye, time to write myself another self-serving, asshole style bio.

So, my name is Alex. People seem to like to call me SysRq, though, seeing as how that's the username I registered here. They also like to call me Sissie, SisReck (only on IRC, though), and Faggator, Bane of Sis-Wreckia. Whatever you end up calling me, just don't call me late for dinner.^[1] I first arrived at this god-forsaken site in late 2007 with the name "Gustavo Chapman 3rd of Normandy." I don't think anybody cares about that fact anymore, though; I did nothing noteworthy as Gustav. I barely do noteworthy things now, though, so I guess it's all the same.

Around here, I like to write,^[2] pee, fix things up,^[3] talk to my friends, v o t e,^[4] and welcome new users. If you're a noob, and whether I've welcomed you or not, I'm more than happy to help with any issues you may be having. Just leave me a message on my talk page.

A Werks

Articles I claim to be mine

Terrible articles that I'd rather were NOT mine

Articles that used to be mine (2007 articles written before the name change)

UnNews Stories I claim to be mine

UnNews Audio Talkie Show Thingies

Songs I wrote

Articles I have WIP'd here on the namespace

{{WIP}} it. Into shape. Shape it up. Get it straight. Go forward. Move ahead. Try to detect it. It's not too late. To {{WIP}} it. {{WIP}} it good.

Awards I've made

This is a list of ~~reasons to be nice to me~~ awards I've made.

A Words

Commander of the Order

Reviewer of the Month March 2008 UnBooks Author of the Month June 2008 Useless Gobshite of the Month June 2008

Featured Article: Charles Lindbergh
This person wrote an article which became one of the
Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Threads Of Our Existence: Excerpts From the Secret Writing Journal Of F. Scott Fitzgerald
This person wrote an article which became one of the
Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Why?:Blame Hitler
This person wrote an article which became one of the
Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Collab with Leddy

Featured Article: Veteran
This person wrote an article which became one of the
Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: UnBooks:My New Life as a T-Rex
This person wrote an article which became one of the
Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Dishwasher
This person wrote an article which became one of the
Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: America is the best!!!
This person wrote an article which became one of the
Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Andy Rooney
This person wrote an article which became one of the
Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

World's Best Friend April 2008

Merited UnProvisation: Historical Drama
This user helped create an UnProvisation which was
merited on Uncyclopedia.

Merited UnProvisation: High School Drama
This user started an UnProvisation which was
merited on Uncyclopedia.

UnNews Audio Ninjastar

For a fine job on your audio. Your character, wit and smarm have lulled the masses into a false sense of security. Nice job! –Rev_zim

	Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

	Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

	Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

	Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

	Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

(Yepp, x5 of em.)

Encourage the n00b star

I award You this star, because you're foolish enough to encourage a n00b's Uncyc addiction and increase it's chances of making a career in Humour™ and/or Visual Gags™.
You are awarded an extra 1½ Bonus*
*Bonus awarded for being good to the n00b.
(Added bonus of 2 available in exchange for cookies). –Lady Viktoria

Under User has blessed you with cake for being friendly and/or useful.
Eat it quickly before he changes his mind.

Warning: cake prepared in an environment which also processes nuts,
and contains lactose, gluten, ground glass and arsenic, which gives it a lovely tang.

Under-used Ninjastar

I award you an under-used Ninjastar. Rust may have dulled its cutting edge, but it is still a potent symbol. Yes. – UU.

Woo!
Yay, go you! Under User has decided that you are "quite a decent sort",
which is apparently one of his highest terms of praise!
This is therefore a good thing, and in accordance with this,
he's throwing a party down the manhole to celebrate. Look at him go!

You're not invited though. Don't take it personally.

You've Been Awarded The Order Of The Flying Communist Turd, 2nd Class.
You Must Have Done Something Really Special For Me! Woo! Lucky You!
From Comrade YesTimeToEdit

Optimuschris has been informed that you have recently helped him in some way.
Therefore he has asked his assistant to create a thank you template for you.
He trusts an appropriate image has been included. An image
every bit as unique and personal as he's assured his recent interaction
with you has been.

Golden Urinal
You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work.
Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing - there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!

Platinum Pisser
Rejoice! Your colossal achievement of completing over 50 in-depth pee reviews has been recognised with the provision of this luxury micturitional accessory. You will be the envy of your friends. Or you would be, if you hadn't ignored them for ages while you were reviewing.

Sucker for Punishment Ninjastar

This user is a complete sucker for punishment, and has now completed over 50 pee reviews. Awesome! –UU

Whirling Star of Outstanding Vigilance

For your consistent commitment to Stephen Colbert, and my joke that 10 people understand. –THINKER

A Use Boxes

User goodthink U.W.P member.
Helper of needy, destroyer of ungood.

This user is a member of the Welcoming Committee, because no other Committee would take them.

This user is constantly PEEING. S/He apologizes for the mess.

This user is a spelling Nazi. Beware their grammarsteeq.

0	This user rewrote 0 pages for Conservation Week, because s/he cares. How many have you rewritten, huh?

This user is a honourific member
of the UnHoly Sisterhood.
He worships Sophia
and so should you, <insert name here>.

This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)

This user has adopted ☯.

This user wants to pee in Cajek's hat.

This user is a cyborg and uses bionic features to fight crime. Resistance is futile.

This user subscribes to the UnSignpost: The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

en-N

This user is a native speaker of English.

sp-1

This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Spanglish.

ns-3

This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Newspeak.

es-1

This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Español.

enr-4

This user speaks Engrish at a near-native level.

This user has adopted The SOAD Fan.

This user has adopted Flare.

NO	This user doesn't care.

This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
18 years, 1 month and 14 days.

This user maintains a Blog at http://sysrqhumor.blogspot.com/

This user misses Dr. Skullthumper.

‽	How dare you consider this user not awesome! How dare you not recognise the awesomeness of this user! This person uses the power of "How Dare You"!

This user is a part of the Missing User Project. You may refer to them as a MUPpet.

Notes

↑ This is the extent of SysRq's humor. How he ever gets a bloody feature is nothing short of immaculate.
↑ ...unfunny things.
↑ More like, breaking shit and then spending the rest of the day fixing what I did and apologizing to all parties involved.
↑ I may not necessarily vote for your article, in fact I've probably made a point not to if I haven't already so don't whore me.

[1] This is the extent of SysRq's humor. How he ever gets a bloody feature is nothing short of immaculate.

[2] ...unfunny things.

[3] More like, breaking shit and then spending the rest of the day fixing what I did and apologizing to all parties involved.

[4] I may not necessarily vote for your article, in fact I've probably made a point not to if I haven't already so don't whore me.

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]