Trick
Trick (also known under the aliases Happy, Lucky, Seabiscuit, and MoonShadow-HunterWind) is the name of Mr. Clarkson's most beloved and best horse-friend. Trick is the official mascot of the Clarkson College of Technology. Half human and half machine, and now buried half dead and half alive, Trick is believed to be the crucial stabilizing link that bridges the real world with the under world. Half human and half machine himself, it is no wonder that Mr. Clarkson was so inseparable from his dear friend.
Birth[edit]
Trick was born on the bonnie, bonnie banks of St. Lawrence University, and was almost immediately rescued by Mr. Clarkson from the terrorist St. Lawrence University StudenTS (SLUts). Mr. Clarkson flew in and rescued Trick so soon after his birth for two reasons.
Friendship[edit]
Since Mr. Clarkson was omnipotent, was immortal and did not age, he technically was approximately the same age as Trick when they first met. This allowed Mr. Clarkson to relate to Trick's early childhood experiences, and built great trust between them. Their friendship lasted for many years and, between times spent saving Potsdam from total annihilation by the Winter Gods, they enjoyed tea and biscuits and sugar cubes and tobacco leaves.
Mortality[edit]
Tragically, Trick's state of mortality became a direct cause of his eventual death. On a side note, the indirect cause for his death was a fatal accident with a bobcat that had its fork-lift mod attached and armed. Trick attempted to retreat, but was unable to run fast enough due to the three and a half tons of tin plating that was attached to his body. As he observed his death approaching near, he disgustedly screamed at Mr. Clarkson, "Just because this is a college of technology and metallic things and because I am your mascot, does not mean you had to transform me into a walking and talking horse-anchor! Because of your brilliant forging ideas, I am now condemned to being pierced by two cold-hearted prongs! I hate you, I will always hate you, and I no longer want to be your friend! Good-bye, you meanie! If I could only curse you more right before dying I would say-" and died.
Mr. Clarkson's Tribute[edit]
Mr. Clarkson didn't find any merit in his former friend's last wishes of no longer wishing to remain friends, and announced to the community, "In honor of my best friend, and to return such friendship, I will bury him in my back yard." Although Mr. Clarkson denied Trick's renouncement of their friendship, he did not deny his own guilt, and recognized that Trick's death was in fact entirely his fault. After woeing for many millenia, Mr. Clarkson decided to end his lonely suffering by using his ultimate power to override his own immortality, and curled up and died. Unbeknownst to him at the time, following his death, his property would immediately be seized and enveloped by the university. Following seizure, students would regularly walk, nap, and picnic overtop his dear Trick's grave (practically everyday), and his beautiful mansion would be internally ripped apart and converted into an ugly, intrusive Office of Admissions.
Conclusion[edit]
Though thoroughly angered by the students' disregard for his horse's peaceful rest, Mr. Clarkson is limited by his dead state, and thus unable to destroy the campus by setting off a massive explosion using the reactors contained in the Science Complex. Mr. Clarkson, however, occasionally appears at various locations on campus to torment the unsuspecting visitors, students, and families.