Imagine hitting her up on the low and she just absolutely ♥♥♥♥♥ your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ brains out. Sucks it, shines it, takes it to church. Gives you the whole orchestra— brass to woodwinds. Eats your dirt button, zerberts your slab, wrings out your rag. Just totally realigns your chakras.

And after she’s extracted roughly 70% of the moisture your body holds and all your molars are loose and you can now speak Tagalog, she dips and you never hear from her again.

And now you’re ruined. You can’t draw a half chub for anything less than a Puerto Rican windchime. You’re this totally different person. God doesn’t even know you anymore.

ARE YOU WHEELS