It is me, Lord Breadington, ruler of the crumbs, but you may just call me Jeff.

I like to eat bread while gaming, as it is a great source of carbs, which keeps your aim sharp and your conscience clear. However, I am still bad at most games I play. Maybe I should start eating raw whole wheat flour instead.

I believe in the natural superiority of bread, as humans have been eating it since the stone ages. People who follow no-carb diets are just actors paid off by big keto, who want to keep humanity subdued through limited carb intake. Do NOT believe anything they say.

This is a threat, keep eating your bread.

Quack quack.