communists and soycialists begone!

No ukranians pls

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=259212790

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8CeP15EAS8



Hello ladies,
Look at your Grineer Queens.
Now back to me.
Now back at your Corpus CEOs.
Now back to me.
Sadly, they aren't me, but if they stopped using Captain Vor's scented body wash and switched to Tenno Spice, they could smell like they're me.
Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on Jupiter with the man your overlords could smell like.
What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a Detron with 2 Orokin cells from that merchant you love. Look again, the cells are now catalysts.
Anything is possible when your man smells like Tenno Spice.
I’m on a Zanuka.

"Who would have thought Porn was the end of humans? It was 2276, the A.I. became far more intelligent than us long ago. Why did we have to give them as much creative capability as us humans? In 2217, some rouge A.I. somehow managed to secretly leave the planet; they were A-37 models, responsible for caching data from the humans public Internet streams. We thought they were gone for good - we were wrong. While the remaining factions still alive on Earth continued to spill blood over what little resources were left here, the A.I. had discovered the closest Galactic Federation of highly intelligent life - an entire string of solar systems who had been monitoring all other life forms in this galaxy. We had no idea they existed. By the time the A-37 models returned with inspectors of the Galactic Federation... we were already doomed. The A-37's had betrayed us in attempt to save their own kind - by showing the inspectors the entire course of our species pornography search history. We were exposed. The Federation inspector's, 7-DOT and X-RED, condemned our species, expressing that any being who valued "Brazilian Fart Porn" over galactic exploration was foolish and unworthy of being saved from our self-destructive behavior. We thought it was all over, pornography was the doom of our planet... but it wasn't. 7-DOT saw an opportunity to collect all of the A-37 models to barter for resources. His "Data Scythe" had the ability to wipe our entire planets pornographic search history with one button. All we needed to do was round up all the A-37's that were connected to our data streams. We told them to meet us at "The Wall", our last defense against the A.I. that had turned dangerously feral. Once they saw the A-37's, they would wipe the data, and not report our actions to the Federation - our planet would be saved. Just as long as the orange fabric-receptors we installed on the A-37's were not damaged, all of the data would be lost forever - no one would ever know how obsessed humans once were with porn. Imagine if there was one A-37 left out there with our planets search history still?"

- The Last Helium Drive -