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They have said you work in mysterious ways, Lord, but I never knew it to be so true until you sent Crazy Frog to us. A potent force left dormant on the internet for years, ready to be called upon when our world needed it the most. And so it was.
I prayed to you, begging that you somehow stem the tide. Every advert break, every page of every magazine, every other video on the music channels, even on internet pop-ups. Everywhere I turned, it was inescapable. That ugly, deformed face. I prayed to you, Lord, GET THAT CHRIS MARTIN AWAY FROM ME!
And you did. Lo, the lumbering, boring behemoth that is Coldplay were mercifully denied a number 1 single. And lo, you denied them with utmost irony. Acknowledging that "Speed Of Sound" is a blatant, redundant re-write of "Clocks", you destroyed them with a blatant, redundant re-write of the theme from Beverley Hills Cop. A masterstroke, my Lord.
As a wise woman once said, God, sometimes you just don"t come through. This time, you did. I am forever in your debt.