RedGold™'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:57pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 2:44pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:36pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 8:01am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:51pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 3:06pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 6:31am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 9:16am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 12:36pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2014 @ 1:52pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 4:26pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 4:01pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 7:36am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 9:41am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 8:21am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 6:04am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 7:53am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 8:48am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 2:08pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 7:49am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2014 @ 1:59pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 8:27am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 3:26pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 2:07pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 7:03am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 12:46pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 7:07am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 6:00am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 12:15pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 1:14pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:36pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 12:30pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 6:28am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 7:19am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 8:48pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 7:42am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 12:37pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:20pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 8:19am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:13pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:22pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 2:09pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 3:13pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 8:29am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 6:17am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 3:25pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:21pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 5:54am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2013 @ 11:34am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 4:02pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 4:55pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:50pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 9:29pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 6:13am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 10:12am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 8:04pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 9:27pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 8:19am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:44pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 8:38pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

15 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

4,235 / 5,000