I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door….

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ remember you, you damn pervert. You were that guy that pushed me on the McDonald's parking lot floor and violently shoved a ♥♥♥♥ in my mouth and told me, "You have to drink it all~" and slapped me in the face with it for 3 minutes while repeating the same ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ phrase over and over again, "You like this, don't you? Dirty ♥♥♥♥♥~". Then when you were about to squirt you shoved in in my mouth and you forced me to gag and swallow it. You then said, "Choke on it you slut!" and left me to rot in the corner. Not only that, but you damaged my throat so badly, everytime I eat or drink anything I can still taste your salty, thick ♥♥♥ in my throat. Now, everytime I'm having a good time eating my favorite foods, I always remember you licking your lips and moaning.

Imagine you're truly immortal, in space.

You jack it. Eventually, you will ejaculate. That ejaculation will give you a tiny, miniscule amount of thrust.

You jack it again the next day. Hell, maybe that same day, I don't judge. Same result. You shudder, a tiny amount of thrust.

Then again. And again. And again, over eons.

You will go faster and faster. Incredibly slowly, yes. But faster still. This is how ion engines work. Tiny amounts of thrust, but over long enough time scales you get serious results.

Eventually your jacking will propel you to an appreciable fraction of the speed of light. You'll be propelled across the cosmos at the end of light years long stream of gossamer wads.

Merry Christmas Crofticle, may you have a great 2022!

Damn those Wolf messages are creepy as ♥♥♥♥

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