If you"re looking me up right now, here are a few jokes to lighten up your day / mood:

1. Why did the bullet lose its job?
It got fired.

2. How do trees get online?
They just log on!

3. What should you do if you’re cold?
Stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.

4. What do you call an angry carrot?
A steamed veggie.

5. How do you organize a space party?
You planet.

6. How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.

7. What kind of cheese isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

8. What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.

9. Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck.

10. What do you call an alligator detective?
An investi-gator.

Now, get back to your game ya filthy animal .