“No way a T-Rex would be this fast!” BigWilly continued, waving his arms dramatically. “I mean, seriously, it's practically impossible based on the fossil record. The legs on this thing—look at the muscle structure here! T-Rex was built for power, not speed. It was likely a slow-moving predator, a lot like modern-day crocodiles, not some hyper-aggressive velociraptor wannabe!” (2/2)

While Rustified AU MAIN was wiping, we decided to take a breather and hop into Ark: Survival Evolved for a bit. It seemed like a good way to blow off some steam after getting raided for the third time in a row. We all spawned on the beach, ready to gather some resources and maybe tame a dino or two. But of course, BigWilly had other plans.

Before anyone could even gather their first stone, BigWilly started lecturing us on dinosaur accuracy, his voice dripping with scientific authority. "Look, I’m just saying," he began, as we cautiously approached a pack of Dodos, "these Ark dinosaurs are totally paleontologically unsound." We all paused. He had that tone— the one where you know you're about to get a lecture on something we couldn’t possibly care less about. (1/2)

BigWilly can’t help himself in Skyrim. We walk into the general store, and the first thing he says is, “This is completely unrealistic.” He gestures to the shopkeeper, who’s standing there fresh as a daisy despite the fact we just took a 13-hour nap in the inn. “She’s been working non-stop. No fatigue, no change in behavior, just standing there selling me arrows. A real person would be exhausted by now! Even the AI should have some basic biological needs.”

We try to ignore him, but it’s impossible. "How is it that every shopkeeper has endless stock of goods at all times?" he continues. "Where do they even get all these potions? Why is no one ever sleeping? And have you noticed how the town guards never age or show any signs of humanity? Just programmed NPCs running on loops.”

We ended up abandoning the game for a week after that.

Caught BigWilly in Sea of Thieves, we initially all made out profile's offline but he said he was able to track us using the game's version of the North Atlantic Current. Upon joining us on the ship, he spends about an hour explaining how the marine biology of the game is all wrong. “Those sharks? Pure fantasy. Realistically, they’d be much smaller and far less aggressive in that environment!” Bro, we’re trying to steal treasure and fight skeletons, and BigWilly’s over here writing a thesis on shark sizes and reef ecosystems.

BigWilly will pause your CS 1.6 game mid-clutch to explain why the Dust2 A site choke point is a "structural nightmare" in terms of urban planning. “Look at the sheer lack of line-of-sight consideration here. It’s chaos, not a military operation.”We’re just trying to plant the bomb to secure the round and BigWilly’s out here drafting a blueprint for a more "logistically sound" map

this man will interrupt your gaming session to point out how the grass texture in minecraft isn't "botanically accurate" and how villagers trading emeralds is "economically unsustainable"
caught him in discord analyzing the aerodynamics of mario's hat for 45 minutes straight. "but how does it stay on while he's jumping??" my brother in christ it's a VIDEO GAME
this dude really sent back his friend's birthday card with red pen markups because "the happy birthday wishes showed internal logical inconsistencies" even pointed out a plot hole in his mom's grocery list