Recent reviews by disaster lesbian

STOP NERFING THE WEAPONS PEOPLE LIKE TO USE JUST BECAUSE THEY LIKE TO USE THEM

the reason nobody uses the other options is because they suck really badly. buff them, change them, but DON'T nerf the only functional guns in the game, especially for diff 8, 9 and 10

fluid, high skill combat! goofy voice lines! ridiculous swashbuckling potential! love this game. short, but good.

this is not a horror i voluntarily indulged in

With the recently progression update, some of the things that frustrated me are gone. It's a pretty good game, needs some more polishing to be very good. But I like it.

oh god captain what do we do

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives.

Mordhau is basically the intellectual version of the sword fighting that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in Mordhau you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. Hack and slash games are like playing Pong on high speed. Mordhau is like playing chess.

The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator.

My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing Mordhau, and I looked at her like she was a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing Mordhau. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction.

I spent weeks grinding for the winged greathelm. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 50 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. Fight!

Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of Mordhau as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.

terrible

I don't know how to fairly review this game. I don't think I can. The only regret I have about buying it is that I didn't do so when it released. This game is amazing. Hands down. Don't skimp on the episodes and only play the first one because it's free.

I've been getting back into story games recently and have noticed that a lot of them move me, but Life Is Strange did so in a way like no other. I have not cried so much over any piece of media in my life, and not even eye watering or tearing up, like full blown balling.

I was so heavily invested in this game that I completed all five episodes in nearly two sessions. It was what I thought about at night and during work, where the narrative would go. Unfortunately, when I finished it I was left with nothing except the crushing realization that Arcadia Bay, Max and Chloe are nothing but a work of fiction. This friendship that I became so invested in, that nested itself next to my heart, wasn't real.

I doubt it was the concept of Max and Chloe that did this, but rather the concept of a real, true friendship that transcended the bonds of even time itself. Something I've never had, and I doubt I will ever have. It's a bleak, but ultimately recoverable reality outside of Max and Chloe's fictional universe. I hear it's pretty common to experience these kinds of feelings in response to this game, so that officially marks it as a piece of art in my book.

Don't miss out, but I don't recommend playing it if you're depressed.

This game is fantastic. It is not, however, TRULY procedurally generated. The developers shouldn't be using this as a selling point past the fact that the encounters are fairly randomized, because so so so much of the game is a so much more compelling point to focus on.

The music is great. The feels are great. The environment is great. I love this game, and it made me feel a type of warm and fuzzy inside in the trailer park -- (you know the part) -- that a game hasn't truly given me in a long time.

If you don't pick it up, you're missing out. Don't do this to yourself!

this game sucks