Play together!

friendly player

+rep strategic brilliance

+rep AWP pro

fantastic moves

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早上好中国 现在我有冰淇淋 我很喜欢冰淇淋 但是 速度与激情9 比冰淇淋 速度与激情 速度与激情9 我最喜欢 所以…现在是音乐时间 准备 1 2 3 两个礼拜以后 速度与激情9 ×3 不要忘记 不要错过 记得去电影院看速度与激情9 因为非常好电影 动作非常好 差不多一样冰淇淋 再见

中共万岁 😎😎🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳💪💪😎🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳💪💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎💪🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳

Game night? Count me in!

we can try one more game if you want

Let"s leave our mark on this game.

signed by me, lets play csgo

hey can u add me :)

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to ♥♥♥♥ it back out. This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere. I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

imagine unadding an old friend zzzzz

He attacks, he defend, he coaches but most importantly he unseen :D

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IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you"re squishy☁️💦 5 back: you"re daddy"s kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy😛😛💕💕💦👅

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🌸🌸 𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓵𝔂 𝓰𝓾𝔂=)🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
_ 🌸𝓦𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓫𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓰𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼^_^🌸
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I 👁 hate 😡 anime 🔥💯 and weebs 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️. I 👁 cannot 🚫 stand 🕴 them. I 👁 hate 😡 it that like 💖 every 💯 other person 👫 asks 🙏 me what anime 😹 I 👁 watch 👀. All 💯 my friends 👬 want 😋 to learn 👨‍🏫 Japanese 🇯🇵 and move 🚚 there. And I 👁 absolutely 🙀 hate 😡 it.

I 👁 am very ✅ interested 🤔 in Japanese 🇯🇵 culture 👳🏾 and history 📂📜📚, and everyone 👥 assumes 🤔😳 I 👁 am a weeb 🤔☣ because of that. I 👁 know 💭 a lot 🍑 about 🤔 Japan 🇯🇵 and it"s culture/history, and I 👁 have to say 🗣 anime 😹 is a bad 👎❓😡 representation 👩‍💼👨‍💼 of what the country 🇺🇸 is actually 😳 like 😄. For example 💪 the huge 😤 amount 📉🔢 of sexual 🍆 harrassment among 😂 other things 📴.

I 👁 don"t ❌🚫 know 💭 if anyone 🙋 agrees ✅👍🏽 with this. I 👥 just had to say 🗣 it. I 👁 cannot ❌ stand 🕴 anime 🔥💯 and weebs 🇯🇵 who think 💭 anime 😹 is and will be their whole 💦 life 💓. Basically 👨 if I 👁 see 👀 a post 🚩 containing 🍯 anime 😹 I 👥 downvote ⬇🙃.

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So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just ♥♥♥ over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ jelly. Scientists were like "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate"s ♥♥♥♥, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker"s Dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ Jelly, and just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ myself to death

I masturbate to pictures of Ben Shapiro almost every day just because I know he would hate the idea of a male wanking to him it"s actually really difficult because I don"t find him sexually attractive in any way and especially just his headshots but I have done it every day for about 2 years because I found it funny at first but now I"m so used to it that it makes me feel incomplete if I don"t do it every day

+rep add me

Funny (😂) story 📗 ✍️

😅 So guys 🤵🏿🤵🏿 this 👈 recently happened to me 🙌.

I was browsing 📱TikTok ⏱ and this girl 👱‍♀️ saw 👀 me 👈 and said 💬 „Whats up 🆙 fam 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦“

I was like 👍 ♥♥♥♥ 💩 🦧, this really happened! 😅😅😂🤣

Anyway 🔁 thats my 🙌 story 🙀😅😅

Feel ✋ free 🍔 to upvote 🔼 so I can feed 🌭🍳🌯🧈 my children 👧👶!

👨‍🚀 Anyway, Im out 🤗🥴⚰️

PS: I found 🔍 this 👈 new 🆕 challenge 🤪 called 📞 „Dab nae nae dance challenge“ 🧐😜😅😂.

I ✋did it in fortnite 💎 already 😂😂 Playstation acc name is: „JuiceWrldPlayaXxtentacion69“

69 is the sex 🍆💦 number 6️⃣9️⃣ 🤯 and like the rapper 🥰😜

Having a daughter is the ultimate form of simpage

I cannot think or comprehend of anything more simpy than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for the men that will eventually ♥♥♥♥ her in every hole.

Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you"re lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to ♥♥♥♥ her tight ♥♥♥♥♥ every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically.

:microbe::microbe::microbe: uh oh :scream: you’ve contracted :mask: corHOEna virus :drooling_face::sweat_drops::eggplant: get into bed slut :flushed: because this flu’s gonna have you :weary:begging:tired_face: for the cure :hot_face::eggplant: send this to :five: sickness :stuck_out_tongue:sluts:stuck_out_tongue: get :three: replies back and daddy will give you your injection :smiling_face_with_3_hearts::eggplant::syringe: get :two: replies back and book your flight :airplane: to infect more sluts :eyes: get :zero: replies back and put yourself in quarantine :rage: no cummies till you’re cured :sob: time to play doctor :stethoscope::pill::heart_eyes:

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He tried to flee back east to his ♥♥♥♥ "empire" but Poseidon sent him to the bottom.

ΑΘΗΝΑΙΩΝ

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Shahnameh. He stormed out of the room crying those persian crocodile tears. The same tears persians cried when Athens supported their Greek brothers of the eastern Aegean in their revolt against the “king of kings” when they justly sought to overthrow their Persian oppressors. There is no doubt that at this point our professor wished he had pulled himself up by his sandalstraps and become more than a Persiaboo hack.

The students applauded and became hoplite citizen-soldiers sworn to defend the Polis that day and accepted Pericles as their strategos and savior. An owl named “Athenian Democracy” flew into the room and perched atop the Greek Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The Odyssey was read several times, and Athena herself showed up and implemented direct democracy for all adult male citizens.

A Persian Zoroastrian professor was teaching a class on classical history

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Xerxes and accept that the Persian satrapy system was the greatest form of government in the ancient world, even greater than Athenian Democracy!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, hoplite from Athens who had fought in phalanx hundreds of times and understood the necessity of a powerful Athenian navy and fully supported all military decision made by the Strategoi stood up.

”Who"s the greatest ruler in history, helot?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Iranianly and smugly replied “Xerxes, you stupid Greek”

”Wrong. It’s Themistocles. If it was Xerxes as you say… then wouldn"t he have won at Salamis?”

himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You"re lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you"ve waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy Now those kids are suffering without meals and there"s nobody to blame but you. I hope you"re happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt

Not funny I didn"t laugh. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn"t even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I"m not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You"ve single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I"m so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein

😍Guys😍, I’m 😲shaking😲. I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥😲 shaking😲. I never wanted to 👉👌🍆🍑breed 🍑🍆👉👌with anyone more than I want to with 🎃👻Halloween 👻✝️Mercy.✝️🎃️ That 💯perfect,💯 ⏳curvy ⏳😍body.😍 Those 😍bountiful😍 🍈breasts🍈. The 👪child 👪bearing😍 hips😍 of a 🖼️💐literal goddess💐🖼️. It honestly ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 😳😳hurts😳😳 knowing that I’ll never❤👅💋mate ❤👅💋with her, ⬆pass⬆ my 👖genes👖 through her, and have her 👑birth👑 a set of 👪💯perfect offspring.💯👪 I’d do ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥💰💰💰 ANYTHING 💰💰

ALRIGHT YOU WANNA KNOW FINE I ADMIT IT, I DON"T KNOW HOW KING CRIMSON WORKS, HE ERASES TIME BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, IF YOU ERASE TIME THEN SHOULDN"T HE NOT BE THERE?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN- WHAT DOES HE MEAN HE ERASES TIME?! HE ERASES TIME BUT STUFF STILL HAPPENS IN IT, HOW DOES HE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN IT WHEN HE ERASES IT?! IT DOESN"T MAKE ANY SENSE YOU CAN"T ERASE TIME! YOU CAN"T ERASE TIME! FINE YOU CAN FREEZE TIME AND YOU CAN TURN BACK TIME, BUT YOU CAN"T ERASE TIME, THAT DOESN"T MAKE SENSE! IT DOESN"T MAKE SENSE- YOU ERASE TIME NOTHING HAPPENS IN IT. I DON"T KNOW, I DON"T KNOW SOMEONE TELL ME! SOMEONE TELL ME HOW KING CRIMSON WORKS I NEED TO KNOW! I NEED TO KNOW HOW KING CRIMSON WORKS PLEASE!!! PLEASE JUST TELL ME!!! I NEED TO KNOW! SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT! ITS CONFUSING I DON"T KNOW, HOW DOES KING CRIMSON WORK?!?! HOW DOES IT WORK?! HOW DOES KING CRIMSON WORK PLEASE!!! PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME I NEED TO KNOW HOW KING CRIMSON WORKS!!!!!

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

The truth is... how do i say this... Do you know what a fetish is ? ... I"ve got a little fetish... This is... well,uh... with girls... Do you know what a bug-bite fetish is...? When a girl"s arms or legs or something gets bitten by a mosquito and their skin swells and gets a little red. That excites me! That"s all! Don"t tell anybody! Ah, i knew it! I take it back! I told you i"d wish i hadn"t said it! If you tell anyone what i said, i"m gonna make you wish a lotta things..... don"t ever tell anyone....

Copypasta is internet slang for any block of text that gets copied and pasted over and over again, typically disseminated by individuals through online discussion forums and social networking sites. Although it shares some characteristics with spam in the sense they’re both unsolicited (and often considered a nuisance), copypastas are mainly spread through human operators whereas the latter is automatically generated by electronic messaging systems.

I"ve come to make an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a ♥♥♥♥♥ ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ he pissed on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wife. That"s right, he took his hedgehog ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ quill-y ♥♥♥♥ out and he pissed on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wife and he said his ♥♥♥♥ was THIS BIG and I said "That"s disgusting." so I"m making a call-out post on my Twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog you got a small ♥♥♥♥, it"s the size of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what? Here"s what my dong looks like. That"s right baby, all p
oints, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong! He ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my wife, so guess what? I"m gonna ♥♥♥♥ the Earth! That"s right, this is what you get! My super laser piss! Except I"m not gonna piss on the Earth. I"m gonna go higher. I"m pissing on THE MOON! How do you like that Obama? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have 23 hours until the piss droplets hit the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Earth, now get out of my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sight before I piss on you too

Never masturbated
Forever celebrated
My ♥♥♥♥, never sated
Your mom"s *** I annihilated
Your sister"s virginity I confiscated
Your father"s *** I penetrated
This lyrical masterpiece I articulated
Your cousins I have dated
This copy pasta I generated
Thanks for reading, appreciated

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　　 　 　 ⢀⣑⠼⠤⢤⠊⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇
　　　　⡔    ⡇  ⡎  ⣿⠿⣫⣿⣿⡇
　　　　⡇  ⢠⠁⡠⣇    ⣾⣿⣿⠟⠅
　　　　⢣  ⠈⠁  ⡸    ⠻⠟⠁  ⠈⠂⢄
　　　　　⠑⠒⠒⢁⠃  ⢸  ⢀⠊⠉⠉⠁  ⠈⠢
　　　　 　　 ⢀⠃    ⠏⠢⡈⢄            ⣆⣀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄
　　　 　 　 ⡠⠁    ⣌⠔⠂⠉⠢⣑⠤⠤    ⠚⢌⠉⠲⢶⣦⠙⣿⣿⣷
　　　　　⢔⣀⣀⣀⣰⠁    ⡐⠁      ⡠⠒⠉  ⣀⣤⣾⡿  ⣿⣿⡿
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You know Paris, France? In English, it"s pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like "The Merchant of Venice" or "Death in Venice". WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN"T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!? ARE YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT ♥♥♥♥ PISSES ME OFF! BUNCH OF DUMBASSES!

╭━━━━━━━╮
┃　　● ══　 █ ┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃█...Você é ....█┃
┃█ ADOTADO █┃
┃█♥♥♥♥♥ Mãe.. █┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃　　　○　　　 ┃
╰━━━━━━━╯

Привет Спасибо

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I"m 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don"t smoke, but I occasionally drink. I"m in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I"m trying to explain that I"m a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness.

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Hey Working Sluts 👩💼🍑💦 it"s tax season 📋🖋😫 and you better get down to Daddy"s H&R ♥♥♥♥ 🍆💦🍑 so you can get your ass refund 💦🍑 from Daddy"s big inky pen 🖋💦😫😫😫 before it"s too late and you have to pay him back 😍👉👌 send this to all your sexy little secretaries. if you get none back, you"re a broke ass crack hoe. 👎😭😓 if you get 5 back, you"re a sexy little streetwalker. 😳👉👌 if you get 10 back, you"re a hard working ♥♥♥♥♥. 🍆💦🍑 if you get 20+ back, you"re one slutty secretary! 🖋💦📋😫😍😍😫 now have a fun 😉

Apex legends is a game where I, caustic, use automatic weapons, gas, and various other methods of warfare banned by the Geneva convention to mow down minorities, homosexuals, and women.

Dear Pesky Anathema,

The Nurglings and I have taken over the Eldar Pantheon. Isha is now a permanent guest at one of my seven Nurgle Gardens. I dare you to find her, if you can! If you need instructions on how to get through the Gardens, check out the enclosed instruction book.

-Nurgle