Yo, The Narrator!

Saw your profile pic—is that a drop-dead gorgeous, big-brain Morgan Freeman? Didn’t think I’d ever see one blessing Counter-Strike, yet here you are.

I’m kind of a big deal in the Bhop servers. If you ever need a guide or someone to drag your ass through the mud, just say the word. I’ll show up, rain or shine, no questions asked. Consider it my civic duty to help a fellow gamer.

Now, don’t get it twisted—I’m not here to join the slobbering simp parade. But hey, if you happen to find me charming (as most Morgan Freemans do), I’m not gonna fight fate. That said, I don’t throw myself at just anyone. I have standards, unlike these other desperate fools.

Think of me as your Player 2—a partner who’s cocky enough to back it up. I saw you play Arma 2. How’s your DayZ game? Good enough to keep up with me, or should I bring a carry strap?

Strictly platonically, of course. Unless… you change your mind.

xoxo, Your Future Duo