Recent reviews by kloaz

This game is so obnoxiously cute and I love it for it.

just when you think take-two can"t get any lower

You know a game is good when the credits can make people cry.

What in Ragnar’s name did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little Swadian? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Sargoth Axe Throwing Academy. I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Swadian land and I have over 300 confirmed rapes. I am trained in pillaging and I am the top axe thrower in the king’s shieldwall. You are nothing to me but just another peasant. I will murder you with savagery the likes of which has never been seen before on Calradia, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ runes. You think you can get away with saying ♥♥♥♥ like that to me over the internet? Think again, Swadian. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Huscarls across Calradia and your fiefs are being scouted right now so you’d better prepare for the storm, peasant. The storm that wipes out your pathetic little thing your call your kingdom. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, horse-user. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over 700 hundred ways and that’s just with my beard. Not only am I extensively trained in facial combat, but I have access to the entire Nord armory and I will use it to it’s full extent to wipe your miserable arse off of Calradia, you little ♥♥♥♥. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you. Maybe you would have held your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tongue, but you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot! I will ♥♥♥♥ throwing weapons all over you and you will drown in them. You are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kiddo. I will drink from your skull!