easysquisher
New South Wales, Australia
 
 
Garfield Kart Enthusiast

otter enjoyer
Currently Offline
Favorite Game
21,517
Hours played
14
Achievements
Review Showcase
oh how my world orbits you
that black and orange fur!
his body, his face,
his lips and curves!
I just wanna hear him ~purr~.

no other game will please him
so i must sit and grind...
no other game will please me
or he'll leave me behind

i've always tried to reach for help
but none will ever come,
until the day Garf reaches down!
brighter than The Sun!

that day we'll praise and cheer our one!
"he's finally here! Our Good God Garf!
we scream and shout and say the name!
as Garf, takes us under, to care

cleanse this world of all the lies
they said he was a joke.
until our Garf could take their eyes
* snorts a line of coke *

with the end of non believers here
we'll finally be at peace,
all non-believers will be left
while all Garfield lovers will feast!
Garfield Kart
Garfield Kart. We all know why we call him our God, and why we all wish he would spend one magical night with Garfield. Here is some context as to why Garfield should be referred to as God by law. Before we get into the rest of the review, I must announce that today I am lucky to be sponsored by skill share. What is a better way to be educated than learning quickly online, with over 10 thousand courses available by the click of a button. How much does this cost you say? Well, if you use the code Garfield at skllshr.com/Garfield94 then you can get 2 months for free! Want to know how I write reviews so grammatically correct? It’s because of the widely available courses which can be found on skill share. Thanks again to skill share for sponsoring this review and now, we will go back to the review. We all know back in the comics that Garfield was a cat that is slightly obese and loves lasagne, but why can he talk like a human, and why is he a fan of lasagne? To find this out we must check the ingredients of a lasagne. Two tablespoons of olive oil, this is really good to make the next ingredient, of lean beef mince really easy to cook. I would recommend seven hundred and fifty grams of this mince. Next, I would recommend ninety grams of prosciutto, and chop four slices. Next I recommend eight hundred grams of passata and also some nutmeg. Once you have got all these the next ingredient will be three hundred grams of fresh lasagne sheets. Then, we want five hundred and twenty grams of white sauce. Once all this is done, the last part to the ingredients is one hundred and twenty five grams of mozzarella, which is then torn into thin strips. So, they are the ingredients inside of a lasagne, however they can be customised. The nutrition’s inside of this lasagne are as follows; roughly five hundred and eighty calories, thirty two grams of fat, fourteen grams of saturates, thirty one grams of carbs, eight grams of sugar, three grams of fibre optic cables, forty four grams of protein, and roughly one point seventy one grams of salt. So that is roughly everything that can be found inside of the lasagne, now we need to move onto our game theories of why Garfield is so addicted to lasagne. The first theory is called the cattraction theory, a play on words from cat attraction. This theory can be used for many cats, and the main proof is that for most cats, birds are their cattraction. Cattration is pretty good for cats to learn how to hunt from birth, but of course, the game, comics and movies clearly show that his cattraction has been modified to lasagne. I mean, I won’t lie, lasagne is pretty epic, and it tastes awesome and totally cool. However, there must be something going on in the bigger picture here, as no cat should like eating lasagne. Okay, so that is the first theory. The second theory is known as the catastrophe, where in reality, Garfield created his own comics based on his dreams, and in reality Garfield is lonely, starving in a lodge somewhere on a mountain inside of Canada. This theory is interesting as it could easily explain how he is able to ride cars and talk like a human. I personally think this theory is a good one and I really hope this is not the case as I would feel really bad for the real Garfield starving right now. Garfield is always overlooked as an obese cat but, in reality he might wish he was obese because right now he is struggling to survive on nothing but his dead owners guts. This is very sad, and I seriously hope this is not real, if this turns out to be the case guys we should definitely make a go fund me guys, this cat has some talent and I do not wish to back down and let him suffer any further than he already is. Garfield is a very talented cat and the amount of people he has saved is incredible. By using the knowledge of this cat, I am extremely certain we could solve world hunger problems and let him own a lasagne delivery service, using drones and Fortnite jump pads to achieve quick travel to the poor countries found inside of Africa. Africa is extremely poor, and I am sure in Garfield mind he would wish to restore the project of fully removing world hunger, as he could not imagine not having lasagne three times a day. Now, the third theory. The theory that all of us agree on by default, the Deity Cat God theory. Garfield is known to have supernatural abilities, and for a cat he is extremely intelligent. He even has thumbs which can improve his grip significantly. The Garfield world is also clear proof of this, there is another planet which is suspected by trained scientists, that planet nine is actually Garfield world. The proof is pretty simple, Garfield has an easy way of using satellites three times as powerful as the sun to send very quick beams of light to the earth, containing all of the Garfield books and comics and films. The games are just reameks of the known lore of the Garfield planet, however, we know that he knows that this game exists. And now that all three theories have been covered, lets go through the facts. So we are entirely aware that Garfield is the real God of this universe, maybe even universes. As we know the bubble theory, that each universe is an expanding bubble that is constantly changing size. This theory is likely to be correct and it can explain the the big bang really easily. Think of it like this, when you turn on a tap and have soap, bubbles are formed, we know why they are formed, but it is astonishing how they are formed. There is almost no beginning and no end, the bubble exponentially grows until it becomes a full bubble and it can slowly expand. This could be evidence that we are actually just inside a Tap in Jon Arbuckles house. This could explain why as humans we cannot comprehend how nothing can be made into something. So this means that Garfield could possibly be the deity and god of this group of universes. So, the next fact is that he hates Mondays. This could be due to the fact that Monday is the day that everyone starts going back to work, and that includes Jon Arbuckle. He could be extremely lonely and odie and the gang isn’t enough to keep him company. I know we are all waiting for that one special night with Garfield, however, clearly Jon is getting that night almost every night. The other theory is that on Monday Jon Arbuckle creates food that is not lasagne, however we are not entirely sure of this. Garfield loves to spend all Monday asleep, and oh boy, would I love it to. I must agree Garfield has some great ideas, who wouldn’t want to spend Monday asleep. There are also other facts but I do not want to spoil this aspect of the game for you. Next section will be how the game plays out, so the game is very similar to the first, however the frames are doubled, not capped to 30, and overall, the graphics were significantly improved. There are possibly some new maps involved however I have a feeling that most are just remasters, which is entirely fine. Also, I can confirm that black Garfield has the N-Word pass, and when you call him that word, he will instantly enable the fragrance and instantly win the course. Don’t agitate my NiceMan black Garfield. He’s 6”3 and will instantly slap you to the floor with his teeth. So, honestly I am starting to fantasize Garfield and I am struggling to survive. Garfield really has changed my life, and I am on a mission to gain one thousand hours on Garfield Kart. Wish me luck. I am on a mission to gain one thousand hours so I can prove how blessed I am to have Garfield on my team. Garfield is an extremely respectful and aspiring God and I look forward to the future. Garfield has really motivated me to become a better person and my intellectual quality has increased by 142 points. Honestly, I would also love to suggest a new possible feature, please microids, make Garfield great by adding Comp to the game and ranks, I would love to compete against the best of the best. Obviously I would be at the top

-Nicholas, (Gar
Recent Activity
1.3 hrs on record
last played on 26 Dec
20 hrs on record
last played on 26 Dec
217 hrs on record
last played on 23 Dec
76561199153834854 20 Dec @ 10:18pm 
garg
FursuitHugger420 27 Nov @ 7:18am 
gardfild
BEST GARF MAIN NA 28 Aug @ 6:15pm 
garfield kart 1v1 when?
ヾ(^-^)ノ Alex 15 Aug @ 1:42pm 
You've apparently played that Garfield game for 2.5 years :0
That's like
A degrees worth of time XD
You seem like a really interesting individual :3
[PRINCE] AaRrii 30 Apr @ 12:05pm 
keep the garfield maxxing going
Cat lover🐾 27 Apr @ 3:10am 
yooo