An important lesson on why women should never be allowed to run cities.

10/10 naming my next kid Beretta

I'll leave a review at 3am cause I've lost control of my life.

This game is a game that almost hits the mark of being fun but then misses horribly by being jank and poorly designed at certain segments. To start, the tutorial sucks. I was confused, other people were confused, it's just pictures and that's no way to teach your player. The main game has 4 segments and outside of the main game is a minigame that is just a short rhythm game. The minigame is grindy, not worth dragging it out that long. Devs should fix that. Devs should also fix the rest of the game.

First section is fine. Touch little spots, sometimes it's finicky. I messed up a few times because it wouldn't switch over to different dots and I was trying to go fast. Second section is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ insane, touch random spots with no direction of hot or warm or cold, It was like somebody said "let's make a MnF game where you have no idea where to click so you just click at random until you lose." 12 year old me would have been heartbroken. The harpy was a mess. Her mouth clips into itself and gives her the deepest laugh lines she ages 60 years in 2 seconds its bizarre. 3rd section was brain dead easy and the funniest cause stuff clips in the oddest ways and you can just pull on things and contort stuff and I think I even found an extra hole or they just put her slots in the wrong spot which makes me wonder if the devs have ever seen a girl in real life but I won't fault them on that mark cause I haven't either so we're even.

After that is the sex animations and don't click too much on the clothes or the girl will go invisible. Can't help but notice the ork didn't ♥♥♥ when I pressed the ♥♥♥ button but neither did I so we're even.

This game needs a serious redesign. And I know a lot of people are thinking "well yeah but porn games are for porn." Then just make porn. Why would you make a porn game where someone has to work for the porn? If you wanna put porn in a game then do it, but it has to actually be a game. That's why I usually keep my eyes on critical bliss, cause they put out some good games that actually try to be games that also have porn in them. I like the succubus games, Aino was fun. And I have it on good word from a friend of mine that the futa game was good. I'll never know personally because futa is gay and I make fun of that friend for being gay. Don't buy into these people who try to sell you the bridge of "futa is straighter than normal porn" that's a cope and they know it. How do you look at a naked girl and think "you know what this needs? a ♥♥♥♥" Bro, You're gay. You just want a dude with tits. You know who else is a dude with tits? Me. Cause I can't stop eating microwave burritos, I'll eat like 4 in a sitting, I'm a mess.

Anyways, I poked around on their patreon and they are gonna sell this game for 25 bucks. If you wanna buy the game now is your chance. I feel bad spending 14, It should be 10, hollow knight is 15 and that has like WAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY better porn. Trust.

I'll probably check out this game again in the future, If it changes or get's any better then I'll update this review but I can't see them dragging this gimmick out for another-however-many-girls-they-plan-to-add without it getting old. On the bright side I am now over my anxiety of touching women and I plan to use this newfound confidence in my everyday life.

6/10 MnF kingdom was pretty poggers tho