Another child died today Garfield. He was terrified. In that moment I wished I could merge with his fear and slip into a saccharine foreverscream. But this is my duty Garfield, have you stopped eating my lasagna? Have you ever looked in that pan? When was the last time you tasted what you were chewing? You shuffling, bumbling, crusty, dumb ♥♥♥♥ cat Garfield. If I pelted you with rocks who would hear the dumb screams? If I set myself on fire and smothered you who would die first? You're a tumor Garfield, but God made cancer, just like he made lasagna, except I made the lasagna. Does that make me more than a man?

They call you a "bad cat" but they will never drink from the fat and rotten juices, they are unfit to be in the kingdom of Heaven and Hell Garfield. You are cut from the nape of the Earth, you little bitty cat. Don't kick Odie off the table!! Gaaarfiiieeeeld!!!!

You stumble home drunk and your bits are all cut away. Did you let someone get to them? Did you snip them off yourself? You won't tell me. Instead you sit in front of the telly, sagging and staring at a sitcom. Your bits are still bleeding. Chunks soak into the upholstery. You'll be fine tomorrow Garfield
You live here, Garfield. You are in between the walls and the beams but you live here. I breathe you in sometimes. It makes me remember innocence. I scream and shake outside of the shower. I try to step in but I slip on a wacky tie. I catch a glimpse of you on the way down just outside of the door frame. Your smile all pus and burn scars. Whose face will it be tomorrow? Garfield, I am your keeper. I just can't seem to get a date! FINO WAS HERE

A thousand shifting fever dreams couldn't molest my love for you, Garfield. It runs through the wires and the cogs and the paper cuts and the plushies. It died twenty years ago. It's pumped up again from a black river bottom and vomited onto naked little bodies. Can I remove myself from its fate?
They pick at you like a great big feast. Garfield, your bulbous thoughts were always clear. I just didn't want to hear. But now it doesn't matter. Now you will see tomorrow. A thousand million living things melted for you. A hundred thousand writhing tongues coming from you. It's a wonderful world and this is all that there is. Tell me you're happy, you fatty cat. Tell me to sleep. Nermal comes to visit