Them anime titties are alright for a .jpeg, anyways here's my favorite Pretzel Roll recipe:

Ingredients:
1 and 1/2 cups (360ml) warm water (lukewarm-- no need to take temperature)
1 packet active dry or instant yeast (2 and 1/4 teaspoons)
1/4 cup (4 Tablespoons; 60g) unsalted butter, divided
1 teaspoon salt
1 Tablespoon brown sugar
3 and ¾ - 4 cups (460-500g) all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface
coarse sea salt for sprinkling

BAKING SODA BATH

½ cup (120g) baking soda
9 cups (2,160ml) water

Directions:
1. Whisk yeast and warm water together. Allow to sit for 1 minute. Meanwhile, melt 1 Tablespoon of butter (reserve the rest for step 6). Whisk in salt, brown sugar, and melted butter. Slowly add 3 cups of flour, 1 cup at a time. Mix with a wooden spoon or dough hook attached to stand mixer until dough is thick. Add 3/4 cup more flour until the dough is no longer sticky. If it is still sticky, add 1/4 - 1/2 cup more, as needed. Poke the dough with your finger - if it bounces back, it is ready to knead.

2. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface. Knead the dough for 3 minutes and shape into a ball. (At this point, it dough can be frozen. See freezing instructions below.) Place in a large greased bowl, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and allow to rise in a warm environment for 1 hour or until nearly doubled in size. (Tip: I preheat my oven to 200°F (93°C), turn it off, place the dough inside and shut the oven. This is the warm environment.)

3. Once risen, punch dough down to release any air bubbles. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and, with a sharp knife or pizza cutter, cut dough into 1/3 cup sections. You should have about 12. Shape into balls.

4. Preheat oven to 400°F (204°C). Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats OR line a 9x13 baking pan (I use a baking pan.) Set aside.

5. Bring baking soda and 9 cups of water to a boil in a large pot. Drop 1-2 pretzel rolls into the boiling water for 20-30 seconds. Any more than that and your pretzels will have a metallic taste. Using a slotted spatula, lift the pretzel roll out of the water and allow as much of the excess water to drip off. Place pretzel rolls onto prepared baking sheet or close together in the baking pan.

6. Using a sharp knife, score a couple slits into the top of each.
Melt the remaining butter. Lightly brush each roll with melted butter and sprinkle with coarse sea salt.

7. Bake for 22-26 minutes or until a deep golden brown on all sides.