Ay wanna play Terraria?

hacks in mm and especially casual

*applause* brings tears everytime

The story of how I met Benneth:

Through dense overgrowth and ‘neath warped dying trees, I stumble. A speckled crimson trail doggedly following me, marking out my final moments on the uncaring waterlogged soil that squelches in protest with each shaky step of my grime lathered boots.
Scabbard empty, my sword as absent as my faith, lost in the tumultuous storm of clashing metal and agonised screams that slowly dwindle in volume behind me. A droplet of cold moisture stings my nose, I look up, vision halved, the dark swirling clouds above mirroring my despair.
Suddenly darkness, welcome oblivion.

The sensation of feeling returns. The soft damp touch of soil on my cheek my only stimuli, all else numb. My one good eye opens slowly, blur becomes definition; definition becomes a lone mist-framed silhouette. It remains motionless for a time, seemingly judging, until finally it approaches with an even, confident gait, halting inches from me. Fighting against the weight of several mountains I tilt my head upwards. Before me is an armour-clad soldier, a two-handed sword slung casually across his shoulder, the pure white of his tabard a stark contrast to the darkened trees behind. He stares down at me with eyes like boundless pools of divine might, and it seems like ages pass.

From nowhere he makes a sound like a dying racoon, a cry that echoes eerily through the weeping forest. He sheathes his sword and heaves me up onto his shoulder as if I were merely a sack of grain. I feel myself becoming aroused by his manliness and it would have been gay had I not been chanting the refrain ‘no ♥♥♥♥’ repeatedly in my mind. My vision fades once more.

Many years later I would find out the name of this meaty man who carried me to safety, nursed me to health and then disappeared into the night. Folk call him Benneth, the eternal wanderer, renderer of aid and bestower of boners. They say that a few, a lucky few, will get to hear one of his fabled albeit unknowable mouth noises. I have been blessed so; that dying raccoon’s call will be remembered in my dreams evermore.