SPRAY AND PRAY SHE'S EIGHTEEN
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"JOKES "
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What do you do when a blonde girl throws a grenade at you
You pull the pin and throw it back


I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?"
My simple answer is:
It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.


What does a hurricane, tornado, and redneck divorce have in common? -Someone's losing a damn trailer


What do you call a really lazy guy on drugs?
A baked potato.


I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer; I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.


I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.


What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A: a rip off


Three words to ruin a man's ego...? "Is it in?"


Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.


When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this."


What do the Mafia and a ♥♥♥♥♥ have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep ♥♥♥♥.


Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking ♥♥♥♥ from some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.


Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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Q: Why is santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a ♥♥♥♥ in days.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Blind man walks into a bar... And a table, and a chair.

FRIDAY is my second favorite F word.

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.