Chicken. It's what for Dinner. Or, at least that was the plan.

The house sat alone, cold quiet and dark. I saw it in the distance as the school bus churned its way down the road and deposited my 11yo self by the steps of the much nicer house next door. I barely took notice of the skies darkening with thick clouds taunting everyone else with the chance of rain. No my friends, the only thing I fixated my gaze on was the empty driveway. My parents had gone fishing. I smiled through my clenched teeth and thoughtfully patted my penis. We were about to embark on a journey together like no other.

The last day of innocence. I was an innocent boy until I walked into that kitchen and was forever changed. I promise you this. When I opened the refrigerator door to fuel up before game time I never intended my hormones to duel with my sense of logic in a quick second battle that surely resulted in the death of my common sense from that day before.

Sitting on the second shelf was was an 8lb Frank Perdue Chicken. Raw, oily and perched with its rear cavity inches from my flaccid penis. I picked it up and raised it to my chest. For a moment, only me and that chicken existed in the whole universe and I had to have her. Before I could change my mind I slammed the door shut and bolted into my bedroom and under the blankets. I dug my finger nails deep into the plastic and started tearing it open all the whilst my once flaccid tiny penis had morphed into what I believed at that moment into a rock hard three inch sword of epic proportions.

Under my bed, a jar of Vaseline was retrieved and I applied it liberally to my meat thermometer. I positioned the rear cavity of the chicken beside my pillow and aimed myself into a docking position and lowered my body almost to the point of contact. I stopped.

This wasn't right I thought. I couldn't do this. It was just so wrong and my 11yo morals forbade me. I knew what the right thing to do was. I hopped off of the bed and peaked around the corner. The coast was clear. Like a ninja I darted into my parents room and flung up the closet door and there it was. It was long, silky and green with gorgeous lace trimmings on the sleeve and collar. I pulled down my treasure from the rack and went to dress up my chicken lover. I slipped the nightgown under its thin fragile wings and smiled at my creativity. Now she wouldn't just feel like a woman, that chicken would look like one too.

I was ready now. So close to the edge of no return. My dick was throbbing in anticipation and I knew within minutes I would achieve the holy grail of inter-species love making.

I slipped inside her canal with great anticipation. Finally, I would unlock the knowledge of what real sex felt like. Not teddy bear humping or greasy palm lovemaking but real sex. I gave it one or two pumps with my pistol but deep in my heart I knew something wasn't right. This couldn't be what a vagina felt like, could it? I withdraw and used my fingers to spread apart the cavity and see what was going on in there. I could see some obstacle, something obstructing my passage into ecstasy.

It was a bag of gizzards/chicken livers tucked into the rear cavity of the chicken. It was far too gross to touch for long. I stuffed it back inside and brought the chicken back into the kitchen. I grabbed a sharp knife and using my fingers determined where the fleshiest part of the chicken was and proceeded to stab a small hole. I stuck my finger into my newly created gloryhole and was satisfied that I was indeed a clever boy.

I should have stopped at that point. But the little hole I created felt so lifelike that it would be shame not to go the extra mile. A woman must feel warm inside I remember thinking. Not cold like a dead stiff bird. Fuck it. I opened the microwave door, set the timer and waited while she warmed up. I was beyond horny at this point. I grabbed the plate, ignoring the pain from the heat and tossed the chicken on the bed, quickly redressing her in the green nightgown and propped her up so the new hole was inches from my penis.

Penetration was successful. My penis glided between the fleshy tissue and with great passion I made in and out motions. At first I could only get in so far, but eventually the muscles gave way and I was deep inside her. I rubbed her breast and kissed her chest. I fucked her with so much pent up love that her wings snapped under my weight. I was lovemaking! I was so proud of myself. In under a minute I sputtered inside of her and collapsed into a pile of boy. I remember laying there in sheer awe of what just happened.

Fate, being the bastard that it was, decided that I would have no recover time to take my lover on a second round of love. I hear the front door being creaked open and my parents laughing at some inside joke. In a panic, I threw on pajama bottoms and a t shirt and walked into the hallway to greet them. I asked them about their catch of the day ...

I didn't hear every word. Everything that was said to me was jumbled. "Catfish, Bugs, Didn't catch dinner, having chicken instead."

Chicken.

My chest tightened. I couldn't breath. I fucked dinner. My poor parents didn't catch dinner tonight. That chicken ... My beautiful chicken lover ... Was dinner.

As my mother reached for the handle of the fridge, I knew there was nothing I could do. The moment was frozen in time. I leaned againt the wall for the support. The microwave door was still open and the knife, glistening with chicken juice and a greasy handle was in plain sight. The dog whimpered, surely feeling my pain and trotted off to ignore the impending doom.

I began to feel light headed and dizzy. A bright white light surrounded me. I thought surely death had taken me. I heard my name being called in the distance and I regained my composure. The bright light vanished when the door was shut and I flicked a piece of chicken skin off my arm and listened as my parents argued over the existance of said chicken.

I wasn't sure I believed in God but I prayed anyway. In a flash of sheer brillance I suggested ordering pizza and they stopped arguing. There was talk about coupons and toppings. For once I didn't care that my father wanted pineapple or my mother hated Pepperoni. I agreed with everything. For that 30 minutes between the fridge and the headlights of the pizza guy pulling into the driveway I thought that I had indeed willed the universe to my demands. That was, until the doorbell rang. Two little noises- Ding Dong, changed my life forever.

Like a bat out of hell, the dog, hearing the doorbell came bolting out of my bedroom, running with all his might to the backdoor. His penis, unsheethed, and rigid stood out like a pink taffy in a black and white video. I heard my mother scream and my dad opening the door to greet the pizza guy.

In his mouth was a gnarled chicken carcass dressed in my mothers nightgown. I ran towards the dog, grabbing the chicken from his mouth and throwing it across the room as hard as I could. The dog took off after it, mounted it and began humping it while my mother attempted to snatch her gown from the grips of the dog. She yelled for my dad, who sat the pizza down on the counter and finally managed to free the chicken.

Life changed that day. The three of us sat in silence. My father threw away the chicken, my mother put her nightgown in the wash and the pizza sat untouched on the countertop. It was never spoken of again.