Recent reviews by WASD2Move

Dave the Diver is the perfect game to play when your tired, wired, high, drunk, swimming in post-coital bliss or drowning in post-coital despair

69/10

feed your cat ya animal

No Man's Sky is good now, they said; it's actually multiplayer now, they said.

I finally caved during this past Winter Sale and bought NMS for myself and the homies as a game for all of us to play. I heard it was god awful for so long but then people started saying good things and I'd debated trying it for years. Now, here we are. I wanted to like this game. I really wanted to like it.

Here's the problem, the teensy wittle tiny problem: its still not ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ multiplayer. After like 12 major updates, each adding new systems and features, this games tutorial is as long as Persona 5's. And if you're playing w friends, you each must complete every step, alone. Half of it is base building and, even if you are all grouped and whatnot, you each have to build a base, you cant collectively build a commune. This means you each have to gather the enormous amount of materials needed to construct everything, and this, coupled with the fact that bases cannot be built in each others territory, essentially means the game forces you apart. Gather materials together? It'll take way longer because you all need the same things and because your bases have to be pretty far apart some of you got a commute to get back. Go adventuring together? Well only one of you gets credit for the kills, the resources for scanning new discoveries, the valuable rare resources you stumble upon. Yes, now you can see other players, go to their bases, etc, but it's still not multiplayer.

Once you have unlocked every system in the game, NMS feels like a mobile game. Log into the game to tend to your settlement on its hour timer, send your fleet on missions on its 4 hour timer, harvest your crops on an 8 hour timer, do fetch and kill quests to raise reputation with a few factions, and gatcha roll warping to new systems and exploring to see if you can find any rare ships or multitools, not with real money, but with resources you constantly have to collect.

NMS is a single player crafting MMO, if you go into it for that experience, you'll probably like it. Don't expect anything else.

For all those who have fond memories of co-oping games with friends, this game is for you. Assuming those friends are still your friends and your friends still play video games.

Is it souls-like? It has a roll button.
Is it hard? No.
Is it janky? Yes, but in the best way possible.

Few things to note:
Multiplayer is done through Epic. You will need to sign in and friend all your friends there.
Mission/Story progress is only saved on the host's save. You will only retain the upgrades, gear, and levels your collect and earn if you are not the host.
After logging out for the evening, you will come back to find that the maps for every area, even the ones you've explored, will be covered in fog of war again. So search every area thoroughly before leaving so you don't have to backtrack, you won't know where you've been before.
Default sensitivity is awful and will require adjustments.

All that being said, this is a super fun co-op experience. Connectivity is excellent. Graphically it's very similar to New World. Like most "souls-likes" the trash mobs are a walk in the park but some middle to late game bosses are very punishing, requiring a huge amount of team coordination. And honestly? Those fights are what makes it such a good co-op game. You have to talk to each other, devise strategies, and execute perfectly or you will be one shot one by one.

I read the reviews before purchasing and many warned of the late game grind and how tedious and annoying it is. So my friends and I made a pact not to play that portion of the game. Once the story is done, we are done. No grinding, no min-maxing, nothing. In doing so, we are having a fantastic stress free time.

Oh, and as for the story? I honestly don't remember what the game is about. Who cares? Wait for a sale price and grab it cheap, forget about the DLC. Excited for the sequel.

This is the third revision to my review. My relationship with this game is much like one between a man and a psycho civilian killing girlfriend, by which I mean to say, on and off. We started out so perfectly, me, discovering the joy of murdering hundreds if not thousands of cops for meth, and her, rooting me on much like a proud parent. But then she got greedy and tried to charge me for the sweet sweet milk of her bosum, at which point I ended the relationship.

Upon ending this torrid relationship I became a productive member of society. I went to school, got a job, got a new girlfriend, and was, suffice to say, pretty happy. But then my beloved Payday came to her senses and removed her paid indulgences, and I was driven back into her bloodsoaked arms!

Now that the scene is set, I will recount for you a standard day in the life of our relationship:

July 14th, 2017. 2:43 AM. Harvest & Trustee Bank.

The Payday gang clambers out of their van with tinted windows.
Their van driver had three spots to park, he chose the farthest possible spot from the bank.
The gang walks to the backside of the bank, pistols holstered under their jackets, shotguns and power saws keistered for maximum concelment.
They mask up.
Four men in pickle masks now stand at the back of the bank, ready to break out of their jar.
One man picks the back door, another subdues two civilians in the parking lot, the third carefully removes his power saw from his anus, so as to prevent tearing, and the forth begins looking for brightly colored packages hidden behind dumpsters.
The door is open, the civilians are zip-tied, the saw is out, the packages are still being searched for.
The man with the saw rams it into an electronically sealed security door, the camera man on the otherside of the door draws his gun, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ himself, but does not call for help.
No one can hear the saw. Why? Because it has a silent motor, and the sound of a saw slicing through a metal lock can only be heard if the motor of the saw is not silent.
Inside, the man with the saw begins to saw the camera man.
Cameras are down.
Now the pickles are excited, piping hot vinegar running down their veggie bits.
The game is on.
They now procede into the bank full of civilians and guards with the situational awareness of Hellen Keller, the beeping of a jammer the only sound of this gory love fest.
Bullets rain like the pubes of a woman too poor to afford a Brazillian wax during swimsuit season.
Within 30 seconds the bank is devoid of life.
The jammer ends.
Suddenly a barage of voices spring from the 1970's pagers that each guard had carried.
Quickly the pickles dash, answering this weirdly outdated method of security with really poorly thought out excuses such as:

"Sorry control, my boner pressed the button, not me"
"So she grab bear by balls and pull, hard! Ball - oh, control? Sorry, telling Leroy about Russian girls"
"I thought I saw a burglar, but it was a burger. The spelling confused me"
"I just called to say I love you"

The guards are down. The real heist can begin.
The crew of veggies sets up the thermal drill, the timer says 240 seconds.
The crew must find a way to entertain themselves, such as:

Shooting every window in the bank
Stacking bloodsoaked body bags in the shape of a penis
Playing with the two zips lines
Throwing grenades
Looking for more brightly colored packages
Killing anyone they zip-tied
Pretending to suck each other off

Finally the wait is over.
The pickle with the saw begins to cut open safety deposit boxes.
The others begin to walk the bags, filled with gold, very slowly to the van parked half a mile away with a driver who wont move the van for some reason and who is either invisible or nonexistant.

Boxes empty and bags stored, the gang proceeds to shoot any hostages they took for ♥♥♥♥♥ and giggles and then leave.

Thank god they did it in stealth.

In short, Payday is a game that is best enjoyed with friends, and one I cannot recommend to anyone without friends, you losers. It is simple, buggy, mindless, and lots of fun. I'm glad the microtransactions are gone and this game is once again, a work of art.

10/10 would smash.

I have played this game infrequently since its intial release here on Steam. In that time i have beaten the is game 3 different times, each on a different update, each with a different race. Overall this game is fun, howver, it is exponentially more fun if played with friends. Alone this game is challenging due to boss fights, and boring due to the massive ammount of resource gathering necessary, with friends this game is much easier due to all the help teamates may provide and much more fun, because lets face it, dropping your friend into a pit of monsters and hearing him scream over Skype satisfies our basic sadistic impulses and fills us with pleasure. It is these little moments that make resource gathering bearable, maybe even fun.

Pros:
-Constantly being improved
-Progression is quick, keeping gameplay interesting
-Many aesthetics to collect
-Easy controls and concept making it possible for everyone to play
-Multiplayer server easily set up
-Feeds sadistic urges

Cons:
-Constantly being improved, making you have to start a new character after each new major update
-Lots of resourse gathering
-Boring alone

Tips:
-Keep up on quests in the Outpost
-Always seek to improve gear
-Make sure friends can play with you

My final opinion of this game follows:

It is quite good as long as you have people to torture (or to torture you if you are a masochist) and well worth the fifteen dollars. If you are going to play this alone...wait for a sale.

P.S. Please fill this game with as many sexual innuendos as possible for maximum enjoyment

Nosgoth is a very fun and promising. The game will be free to play eventually but I still recommend getting it now. The game is very fast paced and though it seems the vampires have all the advantages in the beginning you will soon learn that the humans can be just as, if not more deadly. The main gamemode played at least now in the beta stage is the team death match mode which offers a very quick and fun conflict. You wil either start as a vampire or human along side three other players to fight four players of the opposite species, the first team to thirty wins the round but then the species are flipped and another round is started. Everything in the game can be aquired without the use of real money though it will take awhile. You earn an average of 50-75 gold per game and each game takes about fifteen minutes. In order to buy perks permanatly it takes 2400 gold, weapons take 1500 gold, and abilities take 1350 gold. However should you be unsure whether or not you want the item you can buy the item for 7 days for around 100-300 gold. The different classes can be unlocked with "artifacts" which are awarded to players every five levels. So everything can be aquired without the use of money. The gameplay is very smooth and clean though you do have to optimize the settings yourself. The only problem this game has currently is the party system, which at the moment does not work at all which makes it nearly impossible to play with friends. However they are working on fixing that right now and I doubt it will be a problem for much longer. This is a very good game with a bright future. It is very addicting and you will play it alot. They are planning to add alot to the game including item crafting, new classes, new items, and new gamemodes. I recommend it to anyone into online pvp.

Wow this game is amazing! Very fun and very hard. I recomend playing on very easy for your first time. I just unlocked all the characters and my favorite is the Huntress. I dont judge a game based on its graphics i judge a game on how many times I can play it in a row without throwing up. So this game is amazing! Get this game and have fun!