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9 of 10 (90%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

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Unlocked 26 Dec, 2013 @ 11:29am

Click on door 430 five times.

Click on door 430 five times.
Unlocked 28 Dec, 2013 @ 5:22pm

Achievement

This is an achievement.
Unlocked 26 Dec, 2013 @ 10:50am

Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.
Unlocked 28 Dec, 2013 @ 5:16pm

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Unlocked 14 May @ 3:42am

You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.
Unlocked 26 Dec, 2013 @ 11:27am

Go outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
Unlocked 13 Aug, 2015 @ 7:56pm

Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.
Unlocked 26 Dec, 2013 @ 10:48am

Unachievable

It is impossible to get this achievement.
Unlocked 13 Aug, 2015 @ 8:04pm



Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.