SALVE JOHNNY!

Merry 🎅🎄☃ DICKMAS 🍆❄ you ♥♥♥ 👅💦💦 guzzling mistleHOES 🌿🍒 and ugly sweater ♥♥♥♥♥ 👄👠! It's that jolly 😁 time of year to sing Jingle ❄❄❄ BALLS 🍒 and decide if you've been NAUGHTY 😈 or NICE 😇 ! So line 🙋🙋🙋 right up for judgement 👍👎👏 and sit on Santa's 🎅 lap and tell 💬 him exactly 😉 what you want...if you've been a good 👼👼 little HO-HO-HO 😘😘😘 St ♥♥♥♥ 🍆 will make all your dreams 💭💫 ♥♥♥ 💦 true...but if you've been a bad 😈 ♥♥♥♥♥ 🐶 then you'll be whipped 💥 like one of his reindeer 🦄 so get those 🍑🎁 prASSants 🎁🍑 under ⬇ the tree 🎄🎄 STUFF 👉👌 those stockings TIGHT 🔝🔝 and leave out those COCKies 🍩🍆🍩 and milk 🍼💦🐄 because Daddy 👨👨 DICKmas 🍆🎅 is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 🌊🌊 to town ❣❣

THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ RIGHT HERE IS MY HOMIE. IF HE WAS KILLED TOMORROW I WOULDN'T GO TO HIS FUNERAL 'CAUSE I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ THAT KILLED HIM.

For the next thirty seconds, this station will be conducting a test of the Kekistan Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.

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The broadcasters in your area, in voluntary cooperation with 4chan and other authorities, have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of Normies. If this had been an actual emergency, the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news, or instructions. This station serves /pol/. This concludes this test of the Kekistan Emergency Broadcast System.

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