CalzoneZone's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2015 @ 5:52am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 6:10pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 6:10pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 6:41pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2016 @ 4:46pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 6:10pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 3:26am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 4:44am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 8:07pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2022 @ 2:01am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2022 @ 5:54pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2022 @ 7:27pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 7:45pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2022 @ 12:09am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 7:30pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 11:48pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 4:25am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 4:39pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 4:31am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2022 @ 1:28am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 1:29am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2015 @ 6:05am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 4:28am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2022 @ 5:30pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 2:59am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 2:38am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2015 @ 6:02am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2022 @ 11:13pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 6:49pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2022 @ 11:29pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2022 @ 5:32pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 3:30am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 8:09pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2016 @ 4:46pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 6:10pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 11:26pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 6:10pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2022 @ 12:06am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2022 @ 11:11pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2016 @ 4:43pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 7:41pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2022 @ 12:16am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2022 @ 11:38pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 8:12pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 11:42pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 11:37pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 1:23am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 6:10pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 8:34pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2022 @ 7:30pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2022 @ 12:05am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2022 @ 3:19am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

10 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

9 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

3 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30