I can’t stop winning.

I lose my lane in the first 5 minutes. I go 0-10 through the game. I have the least souls in the game. My build is ♥♥♥♥. My aim is ♥♥♥♥. My game-sense is ♥♥♥♥. I am waiting to respawn for 50% of the game. I die first in team fights. All of this, but I still keep winning. My teammates carry me through every game. I have resigned myself to be the team backpack. I’m doing nothing more than watching my wraith or haze assemble the stones to the infinity gauntlet and snap the entire enemy team out of existence. I am nothing more than moral support. I’m the water boy. I am the dancing monkey that entertains my team as they carry me to victory. The more I win, the harder the games get and the harder I throw. At this point I have Netflix open on the other screen to watch while respawning. I want to lose but my luck is too much. Some consider luck to be a part of skill. If that is true, how can someone have absolutely zero skill have so much luck? The other day I left my computer open and my cat walk over the keyboard. To my surprise, Bebop (my 10 y.o. Hairless cat) opened deadlock, queued Paradox, and demolished the enemy team 20-0. My cat is better than I am. I am lower than an animal. I want to uninstall the game, but my aim is so bad I cannot even hit the uninstall button. I try to play a different game but I accidentally open up deadlock and queue vindicta in a matter of milliseconds. I am sincerely sorry if I am on your team, you don’t want me to be there, I don’t want to be there. If you want to avoid me, I queue from 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm AEST, on the Oceana servers. This is a warning for all who queue during these times. I apologise in advance. Goodbye to all, I am off to queue vindicta.