Tea Time for Two

a Beefleaf and Hualian fic by luckstars1015

2.7K Words | Not Rated | Humor/Fluff

Summary

A year since Xie Lian had seen the former Wind Master, Shi Qingxuan arrives at his door step out of the blue with Black Water in tow. The two heavenly beings go to catch up, leaving the two taciturn supremes to their tea.

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Hua Cheng sipped the tea that's long since gone cold, much like the two ghost demons sitting at the table. “Ah, so it seems you finally fucked the former Wind Master?”

He Xuan’s eyes shot open, threatening to bulge out of his skull. “How did you—wha—why are you—?” Such a crass statement was completely uncalled for… but not untrue.

Hua Cheng cut off his bumbling questions. “You know they’re comparing our dick sizes as we speak, right?”

Tgcf chibis :)

Shi Qingxuan, crying: So He Xuan was just using me? Nothing was genuine in all the years we spend together? It was just to kill my brother and destroying my life (and heart)?
Xie Lian: I’m sorry, Wind Master =(
Hua Cheng, trying to contain their amusement: You must feel pretty stupid right now.
Shi Qingxuan: *cries even more*
Xie Lian: Ok, that’s a time-out.
Hua Cheng: No, I was just trying to-
Xie Lian: Go sit over there!
Hua Cheng: *walks away in defeat*
-Later-
Hua Cheng: your debt has just increased Black Water!
He Xuan: WHY?
Hua Cheng: You know Why!! You are broken the ex Wind Master's heart, and now Gege is very upset! He got angry at me!! BECAUSE OF YOU!
He Xuan: Broken his heart? Qingxuan is not in love with me!
Hua Cheng:
He Xuan, suddently VERY worried:…He's not, right?
Hua Cheng: Whoa you're pretty stupid for a scholar!
Hua Cheng: Poor guy, yesterday I thought he was stupid but now i really feel bad for him.

Xie Lian: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
He Xuan: I'm all fangs and claws.
Shi Qingxuan, making tea, from across the room: He's the little spoon.
Hua Cheng, smiling: Interesting!
He Xuan: ….*blushes*

Hua Cheng: So do you use pet names with the former Wind Master? Like i do with my husband?
He Xuan: No.
Hua Cheng: Humhum…say what the bees make?
He Xuan, extremely serious: I guess they make wax?
Hua Cheng:
He Xuan: (I wasn't going to fall for that, i'm not like Nan Yang)

Meanwhile, in the kitchen

Xie Lian: So do you use pet names with Black Water?
Shi Qingxuan, blushing: hahaha….yes. ~

I had fun to imagine another version
Hua Cheng: Give me a reason what why i should let you take the Earth Master away!
Xie Lian: San Lang, listen…
Shi Qingxuan (F): *panicked* Because you’re not enough cruel to deprieve a baby of his father even before his birth?
Xie Lian:
Hua Cheng:
Lang Qianqiu:
Hua Cheng: Excuse my langage but what the actual fuck Lady Wind Master?
Everyone:
Hua Cheng: Sorry. I…just...didn't expect that.
Xie Lian: *immediatly checks Shi Qingxuan's spiritual energy* you really ARE?
Hua Cheng:(I didn't even know that it was possible)
Lang Qianqiu: How it is possible?
Xie Lian: I'm sorry your highness but now is not the good time to explain how babies are made.
Lang Qianqiu: I KNOW HOW THEY MADE. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW THAT 2 GODS COULD…
Xie Lian: Well they were both alive and healthy.
Hua Cheng: (except that one of them wasn't. So yeah HOW?)
Lang Qianqiu: HOW COULD YOU TAKE ALL THOSE RISKS?
Shi Qingxuan: It's fine, it has been only two months!
Hua Cheng:(OK. Ok. What's the actual fuck Black Water?) I guess you can go.
-Later-
The next arc is cancelled because Lang Qianqiu never realized that Xie Lian was his former teacher with all this drama. Hua Cheng left them go away with a "ok, take the futur daddy I guess"
-Later-
Ming Yi (He Xuan): *Waking up* (worst idea ever but it has worked I…) *sees Shi Wudu who looks at him like if he was going to destroy him slowly and painfully* Yes?
Shi Wudu: I know what you are.
Ming Yi (He Xuan): WHAT?
Shi Wudu: Don't raise your voice at me, you little shit! I also know what you did!
Ming Yi (He Xuan): (he knows? HOW? The Healers realized that i was a ghost? No i'm free, so it's not that.) What do you mean, Water Master?
Shi Wudu: YOU DARE TO DENY IT?
Shi Qingxuan, arriving in the room: GE!!
Ming Yi (He Xuan): Deny what? *annoyed*
Shi Wudu: THAT YOU FUCKING GET MY BROTHER PREGNANT WHILE HE WAS UNDER HIS FEMALE FORM?
Shi Qingxuan: GE HE DIDN'T KNOW YET!! I DIDN'T TELL HIM!!
Ming Yi (He Xuan):
Shi Wudu: ho…
Ming Yi (He Xuan):…I WHAT?
Shi Wudu, after 5 minutes to communicate with someone via spiritual array: Nevermind, i spoke to the emperor, the wedding is next week.
Ming Yi (He Xuan): I…what?
Shi Wudu: you'll take your responsabilties before it becomes too obvious! Or...
Shi Qingxuan: Ge, stop threatening him!
-Later-
Ming Yi (He Xuan): and you planned to tell me THAT when?
Shi Qingxuan: I had planned to tell you after Pei Xu's trial, when i got sure of my situation, but you got kidnapped by Crimson Rain :/
Ming Yi (He Xuan): …(Fuck you Crimson Rain, you and your stupid plans!)
Shi Qingxuan: Don't worry, it has been only two months and i have not taken big risks!
Ming Yi (He Xuan): You shouldn't have take any risks!
Shi Qingxuan: I don't regret to have saved you Ming-Xiong =) *hugs her lover*
Ming Yi (He Xuan): *internal screaming of pure panic guilt*
-Later-
He Xuan: Fuck, what will I do now?
Hua Cheng, judging the hell of Black Water: You better to not hurt her. First because Gege would be upset. and secondly because i refuse to let you put a pregnant woman and a unborn baby in your revenge, even more if she isn't aware of what her brother did.
He Xuan: And what i should do? Waiting the birth and kidnap both of them before killing Shi Wudu or kidnapping Shi Qingxuan before the birth and kill her brother after have put her in safety?
Hua Cheng: As you wish. Just remember that taking her divinity away could kill her since the baby is half ghost.
He Xuan: YOU DON'T HELP!
Hua Cheng: You are lucky that i do what i do, because i'm pissed over you fish boy!
Hua Cheng: Because what the fuck did you think?
He Xuan: HOW COULD I KNEW THAT IT COULD HAPPEN? I'M DEAD, REMEMBER?

Guzi wonders why Scrap-gege and Hua-gege’s legs stop working so often

(slightly nsfw)

Inspired by this post

Feng Xin: If your hands are cold it's just your ghost boyfriend holding your hand.
Shi Qingxuan, holding He Xuan's hand: But it's a nice cold hand.
Xie Lian, holding Hua Cheng's hand: Absolutly